


Red Light

by VividlyLost



Series: Crossing [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Burn baby burn, Drunkeness, Fighting, Fluff, Gaster - Freeform, Nightmares, Overcoming Fear, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Swearing, Teasing, Trauma, also soulplay, avoiding problems, bonding through issues, gonna get dirty, its ya boi, more tags to come as i continue, or the void, or whatever, protective angry goat mom, surprise mother huggers dadster in the house, tentative Papyton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-05 17:33:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 65,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11018202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VividlyLost/pseuds/VividlyLost
Summary: After the events of Just Passing Through (first fic in this series) UF!Sans and his Reader have to come to terms with her fear of his magic. Especially when things between them start to get heated.  But what is happening with her soul, why are there flashes of purple that appear like drops of ink when something is about to happen only to go away within moments?  And what will happen if one day it doesn't just go away?





	1. The Ground Had Friends

You woke up covered in sweat, the red light flooding your room freezing you in place only for it to pass as the street light changed outside.  It took you a moment to remind yourself that the the lights from your charging laptop weren’t eyes and that you were actually in bed.  Sighing you got up to take a shower before getting ready for work.  

 

It had been a few months since you last saw Blue and his friends, since that weird crossing of the two worlds.  You hated to think about how you would be right now if you hadn’t met them, if Blue hadn’t helped you see that what happened with Sans wasn’t your fault.  Since the day you had finally confronted Sans, since the day you realized that he had lashed out from his own lack of self worth and issues things had gotten better.   The fact that you would still be running away from him, from your new friends, covered in cold sweat each time you thought you saw Sans, wasn’t one you liked to think about.  The nightmares were more than enough reminder.  Through your own stubborn desires to prove to yourself that he wasn’t the “monster” that plagued your nightmares you had grown oddly fond of him.  He needed you, and in an odd way you had needed him.  Brought together by some puppeteer in the shadows of fate.  

You’ve noticed an improvement in his temperament and now instead of most of his smiles being forced you could see he was tentatively accepting happiness.  But there were times when you looked into his eyes, when you remembered why you had run away from him for so long, and he would look away ashamed.  You didn’t think you could bring yourself to tell him exactly how afraid of his magic you were.  You were able to accept what was a part of him, his eye lights, his tongue, things like that, even his teleporting didn’t phase you, but when you saw the smoky red glow of his magic around you, your body would panic.  The only time he had used his magic in front of you since that first meeting he was only trying to help, you knew this and yet you still had to fight off a panic attack.  Sans, he tried to make sure not to subject you to that again and you felt so bad for him having to hide a part of himself over something you couldn’t control; but deep down you were grateful.

 

The more time you spent with your monster friends, with Undyne and Alphys, even Papyrus, the easier your day to day life became.  You were estranged from your parents, sure they lived in the city but you hadn’t really spoken to them for a while and you were sure that as soon as they found out who you were friends with there were going to be repercussions.  They were like a lot of people, they didn’t believe monsters belonged in their world.  You loved your parents but this was a topic that they just didn’t back down on.  You had been going to Grillby’s for lunch most days, the indigo barman had taken forever to warm up to you but you kept to yourself, buying your lunch when you could afford it or just sitting in the quiet of the midday with your beverage.  You were always courteous to the monsters in the bar, you always tipped, and you asked questions with an eagerness to understand.  Over time a few of the patrons had grown to look forward to your daily visits and by that point Grillby had relented, his usual smirk no longer disappearing when he saw you enter.  But as soon as your parents heard about your regular visits to the monster’s bar they lost their minds.  Your father didn’t yell and your mother didn’t scream, at first, they tried to make you see reason.  They tried to fill you with guilt over your actions, “what would people think?  How could you do this to us?  Do you have a death wish?  We didn’t raise you like this!”  And no matter how you tried to explain to them that you felt safer in a bar full of monsters than in most places filled with humans they ignored you.  Every argument escalated quickly leaving you shaking with anger, your siblings weren’t any help in the matter.  They were both away living there lives, your sister at an out of state college and your brother off working his dream job.  They answered their texts sympathetically, even your brother tried to tell you not to worry about it, but for him he was days and miles away and you weren’t.  That made you an easy target for parental concern and attempted control.  So you stopped trying to talk to them, and after a few tense family dinners they stopped trying to police you.  You hoped that the issue would resolve itself in the future, you hoped your parents would just be happy for you no matter who you hung out with.  

Then it wasn’t just your parents who had issues, a good deal of your coworkers would give you frosty looks of disdain if they saw you with any of your friends.  Luckily your boss was sympathetic, not enough to ever hire a monster but enough that she ensured you that what you did and who you associated with outside of the office was never going to be a problem in regards to your job.  You guess it helped that one of the bolder monsters had set up a bakery not far from her house and she often came in with a pastry from the shop.  Sometimes she would bring in a box for the office and the hypocrites that were your co-workers would devour them with gusto.  

 

You hated how humans treated them and one thing you didn’t tell your friends, especially Undyne, was the amount of fights you ended up in because of them.  You vehemently defended your friends against the slurs you heard when you were alone, and often you would head off humans you saw coming towards your group, making up excuses about catching up with your friends later.  Usually the arguments didn’t escalate too much luckily, but today after work you ran into a few people you hadn’t seen since high school.  When they saw you they waved you over so you told Sans and Papyrus you would catch up to them later and jogged over to the group.  At first they seemed pretty friendly, but they quickly turned their attention to your previous companions.  The longer the conversation went the more irritated you became until you abruptly told them thanks but you needed to get back to your friends.  The look on the main girl’s face at the tone of your voice made her sneer and she started running off at the mouth, insulting you and your friends, alluding to things she assumed you did with the monsters, the reasons they kept you around.  She didn’t know anything and you told her so, then she got angry, her friends bristled at your bold comebacks.  She started saying things about how your friends belonged back underground or better yet dead.  You clocked her in the face.  You knew she was just spewing the same thing she probably heard everyday from her parents or even her own friends, but that didn’t stop you.  Her friends grabbed you and through her bloodied nose she grimaced.  When you finally caught back up to Sans and Papyrus you had pulled the hood of your long sleeved shirt up to hide your face, you hurt like hell.  

Sans took one look at you then looked at Papyrus who immediately stopped walking and looked your hooded form over.  “HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN DIRT?”  

“I tripped running to catch up, I’m fine though.”  You shrugged,  the area around your nose and right eye was starting to feel really tender.  Sans suddenly reached over and yanked your hood back from your head then he got real still.

“who the fuck did this too you?” his voice was low and his eyes were dim, you looked away from him.  He noticed your expression and turned away from you, hiding his anger.  

“I AGREE WITH SANS, TELL US WHO ASSAULTED YOU? WAS IT THOSE HUMANS YOU LEFT TO SPEAK TO?”

“Guys it’s fine,” smiling hurt but you did it anyway. “Like I said I fell.”  You knew they knew you were lying but you went with it anyway.  

“and uh, how exactly did the ground give you a black eye?”   He gestured at your face and you gingerly touched the tender flesh around your nose. 

“The ground had friends.” Your mouth still tasted like copper and when you spit there was blood in your mouth from when you had bit your cheek.

“AT LEAST YOU WILL ACCUMULATE MANY BATTLE SCARS AT THE WAY YOU HANDLE THE … GROUND.” you couldn’t tell if he was prodding you for getting beaten up or trying to lighten the mood, glancing at the fine cracks on his skull you realized that those must be his “battle scars”.  That would explain why he never had them fixed.

“That’s not how the human body works Paps, I mean sort of but not really.  To get a scar the skin needs to be broken first, this is just a lot of bruising, maybe even some bruised bones I don’t know yet.  For a few...pieces of ground...they really knew how to make it hurt.”  

“BREAK THE SKIN?” You looked at Sans but he was already starting to walk away,  you and Papyrus followed him.

“Yea, skin.  So like, ok, humans have layers of materials over their skeletons, various muscles, fats, tissues, everything layered on top of each other and it’s all wrapped up by a thin and durable layer of tissue called skin.  It’s what you see on humans, their skin.  If you break the skin then you’ve damaged the protective layer so it needs to heal itself, which can take a long time, and sometimes it doesn’t heal back perfect and leaves scars, like this one.”  You gestured to your arm where you had actually taken a fall a few years ago and gashed your arm open.  “You break the wrapper big or deep enough and the contents will come out.  If you really wanna know look it up on your computer big man.”  He seemed morbidly fascinated at the idea and you were sure you were going to hear about his research later.  As the three of you continued walking you spotted the group of girls across the street heading into a drug store, the main girl still had blood smeared under her nose.  When they spotted you you slowed back behind the brothers and gave the group the biggest shit eating grin of your life and flipped them off. Angry looks crossed their faces and they stomped inside of the store.  Sans had looked back when you slowed down, having noticed the group from before.  He was pleased to see one of the group sporting blood on their face, and when he saw you antagonize them further he just grinned.  He didn’t have to imagine what started the fight and he wasn’t going to pry for answers, but he had a bad feeling about what would happen if you kept standing up for monsters like that.

“y’know doll, undyne’s gonna be pretty curious as to what happened when she sees you.”  You hadn’t thought about that, and if she found out you were getting into fights there was only one way this would end.  You clenched your jaw stubbornly and remained silent, Sans laughed.

 

“PUNK! What the hell!  You been pickin’ fights?” You had barely set foot in her apartment before she saw the state you were in.

“she said she fell Die.”  The nickname had stuck from the other ____ during the crossing, Undyne was loathe to give it up.  

“AND THE GROUND HAD FRIENDS.” Papyrus interjected, eyeing you again before striding to the living room.  He knew exactly how Undyne was and wanted to be clear of suplex radius.  Dodging the question you asked her for some ice and some water and gratefully accept both of them while Undyne went off about fighting and how with proper training you wouldn’t get beat again.  Then she went off about helping you fight, assuming that you had a problem with a particular human, you had to stop her there before she got carried away.

“It’s not  _ a _ human Die, it’s a  _ lot _ of humans, you can’t help with this.”  She stopped talking and even Sans looked surprised.   _ Shit. _  You pressed the bag of ice to your face and fast walked your ass to the living room.  You felt two pairs of glaring eyes bore into your back.  Alphys had already set up the tv and was arguing with Papyrus on what to watch.  With the ice on your face you asked them what they felt like watching.  Papyrus wanted something violent, and Alphys wanted something mentally stimulating.

“You guys ever see Hannibal? The show not the movies, although great movies.”

“WHAT IS IT ABOUT?”

“eh yknow murder, mystery, crimes, justice, cannibalism, gay subtext, lots of blood and hey! That's one way you could see what I meant earlier about breaking the skin!  It's a seriously underrated show.” 

“ I-I’m not sure, your description is rather...lacking.” Alphys looked at you from the floor, noting your ice pack and accepting it all in one breath. 

“Oh you sweet summer child.” You shook you head in mock sadness.  “Give it an episode or two and then come back to me.” Really you just wanted to watch it again, and were still salty that it got cancelled.

“sounds good to me.” Red’s voice sounded inches from your ear and you jumped, heart pounding in your chest.  You turned to see his eyes inches from yours, crinkled in a silent laugh.  You smacked him with your ice pack until he backed away and sat next to you in the couch.  Alphys located the show and loaded it up to watch when Undyne yelled for Papyrus to help her with the lasagna.  Enthusiastically he launched himself from the couch and Alphys scurried over to the fire extinguishers she had stocked in the cupboard.  You grimaced and hoped that it would be edible this time.  Previously when you tried to help make the dish, and by help you had tried to show them a less burnt way of making it you were run out if the kitchen for being less intense than they required.  Sans dug into his pockets and pulled out some packets of microwave popcorn and some bags of candy.

“don't worry, you won't starve i came prepared.”

“You don't have any pizza in there do you?” smiling still hurt, maybe you should have asked for some aspirin. 

“i think i could get one, but at the risk of offending the boss you'd have to give me a  _ pizza _ dat ass in exchange.”  

“Jackass.” He shrugged.  

“i could help with that, y’know.” He looked pointedly at your injuries.

“Oh really now?” you actually didn't know so you were intrigued.

“yea, but…” he trailed of and looked away. Oh.

“Magic.”  visible magic, that or he didn't know how to hide the visible leakage.

“do you trust me?”  you did, he knew you did but he still had to ask.  He was so careful about not letting you see his magic that even something helpful made him weary. You nodded stiffly, you wanted to get past this.  You wanted to be ok again, you wanted to be able to completely forgive him.  “close your eyes sweetheart.” after a moment of searching his face you lowered the ice pack and closed your eyes.  His fingers gently brushed against the rapidly swelling flesh and from behind your eyelids a red light filtered in.  You stopped breathing, rigid where you sat.  A tingling sensation spread from where his fingertips met your skin and slowly the pain faded away.  After a long moment the pain was gone and the light shortly after that.  You took a deep breath, keeping your eyes shut.  His fingers lingered against your cheek until you opened your eyes and he quickly withdrew.  That wasn't as bad as you had thought it was going to be and when he saw you were ok a wave of relief flooded his face. 

“Thanks.”

“yea well, can’t have anything marring that pretty little face of your’s now can we.”  

“Still an ass.”

“i don’t even have an ass, sugar.”  

“Oh I’ve noticed,” your eyebrows shot up as you nodded knowingly, your lips pursed comically.  “Dare I say it, but I think you’re all bones. Scandalous.”  Laughing was easier with your face healed, so you laughed freely.  You threw your arm over his shoulders and drew him in close. “Listen Sans, my friend, my pal, my buddy, my chum,” you turned his face towards yours with your free hand, you were entirely too close.  “Seriously, thank you.”  You released him and sat back against the couch, his face was glowing brighter than a stop light, and he was at a loss for words.  Small doses, small doses of his magic like that made it easier on you, especially when it was him blushing and boy HOWDY did you enjoy flustering him to the point he was at a loss for words.  

Red dragged his hand over his face, you did shit like this so much, knowing exactly which of his buttons to press.  In a way you were almost taking advantage of the fact that he was literally afraid to do anything that would scare you away, even if you didn’t know that.  He really wondered what you would if he didn’t restrain himself when you teased him.  He thought about that a lot.  His blush faded into a wicked grin.

 

You survived the lasagna and devoured your share of the snacks Sans had brought.  Luckily for you everyone seemed to really get into the show the longer it went on and you got to enjoy their reactions as the show unfurled its secrets.  You often found yourself wiggling in your seat from sheer enjoyment.  Increasingly glad that Sans had healed you, the use of magic all but forgotten in the excitement of the evening.  At some point you pulled the giant beanbag chair over next to the couch, you had it at your apartment for so long and it was hardly being used so you had it brought to Undyne’s as you found yourself there more and more often.  It was so large that you could lay on it, perhaps it was more apt to call it a beanbag bed.  So lay on it you did, curled up to see the tv, perfectly embraced in the beanbag.  You checked your phone, it was late and you didn’t have work tomorrow so you closed your eyes while everyone else sat immersed in the show.  You’d watched the first season enough times to know what was going on by sound alone.  As you started to doze off you felt a hefty cloth placed on you, it smelled of mustard.  You realized it was Sans jacket.  As curled up as you were and as big as his jacket was you were all but completely hidden underneath it.  The weight of it was so comforting that you were asleep before long.

 

You woke up in the morning alone in the living room, Sans’ jacket still draped over you.  You had to roll your way out of the beanbag and when you stood up and stretched you moaned at how good it felt.  Sans and Papyrus were long gone you assumed and you didn’t know where the girls were.  Your mouth felt gross, and you realized you were still in the same dirty clothes you had gotten your ass beat in the day before.  You pulled his jacket on over your mussy ensemble, using his hood to hide your hair, it didn’t tangle so much as get stuck sticking in different directions.  Honestly because Sans was about a foot higher than you and just plain larger to boot the jacket hung decently far past your ass.  You were pretty sure the smell of mustard was ingrained in your nose at this point, not that it was a bad smell, and you remembered how Blue often drank ketchup as opposed to the mustard Red so loved.  You wondered if the version of you in Blue’s world minded, you didn’t quite like the smell of ketchup as much as you liked the taste of it.  You guessed they were finally enjoying their time together now without Red butting in randomly anymore.  You missed everyone from over there though, a pang in your heart that came back more often than you liked.  Checking to see if anyone was awake and deciding that either they weren’t, that or they were being really quiet, you let yourself out.  It was pretty early in the morning and a pretty long walk home.  Your phone had about a quarter of the battery left and you decided it was worth the sacrifice as you turned on your favorite playlist and dug your tangled headphones out of your pocket.  

Your face was hidden in the depths of the hood, the fur obscuring you from prying eyes so when you walked past a group of people a few blocks from your workplace you were surprised to see that same girl you had punched yesterday surveying the area, her eyes sliding right off of you as if you didn’t exist.  Was she really that vindictive?  Remembering her from high school you didn’t think so, but then again she didn’t seem to be upset at the moment either, but the group she was with was prickling with angry energy.  Quickly you walked past them and turned down the main road.  If any of them were looking for you then you would at least be on the main street where other people were.  You felt your phone buzz against your hand in the pocket of Sans’ coat.  It was a message through one of your social media sites and it was from the same girl.     


*hey it’s steph, from yesterday, look im sorry about what i did, hell i got really out of hand and im not even mad that you hit me.  I shouldn’t have taken it as far as i did but uh look thats not as important as this, don’t go back to where i saw you yesterday.  I told my boyfriend what happened and he got pissed and now hes got a crowd of ppl looking for you and your friends.  Im really sorry ___ im trying to get him to let it go i swear just please be careful*

 

You read her message once, and then twice, bile rising in your throat.  You blamed yourself for this, if you had just walked away and ignored her empty threats...  You started running, of course you hated to admit that you kind of enjoyed the fights, even if they never escalated until recently.  It made you feel good about yourself to stop something that could have gone potentially worse, and yet here you were, making things worse.  Your earbuds fell out of your ears and hung over the zipped up front of the jacket as you ran.  You ran all the way to Toriel’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read Just Passing Through and really don't want to then here is a short summary of what happened between Sans and the reader in their past.
> 
> Sans was drunk, incredibly drunk one night and was accosted by a bunch of equally drunk and angry humans. Reader saw this on her way home and ran to stop the humans. She liked mosnters, she spent her lunches at Grillby's and she didn't like to see any of them get hurt. She didn't know Sans, she'd only seen him around. The humans, seeing her in their way, yelling at them to leave were too drunk to hammered to be bothered with her so they left. Sans was angry, he had already decided to just give up and he didn't understand why this girl was trying to help him, he didn't deserve sympathy or help. He tried to make her leave him alone but reader is stubborn and compassionate so she wouldn't. He tried to threaten her with his bone magic and she called his bluff, refusing to leave when she knew he needed help. His magic filled the area around them with red smoky light and he summoned a blaster, he saw that that put a little bit of panic in her eyes so he fired it off above her head. She ran away, terrified and in tears. For months she avoided him after that, growing scared when she saw him, and having nightmares about that night since then. 
> 
> Reader was scared that she had done something terrible and she blamed herself for what happened. The events of JPT occur and UTSans finally gets her to talk to him (because he wants to know why she's afraid of him) and is able to help her realize that what happened wasn't her fault. With Undyne's help she confronts UFSans, both for her own sake and for his. They became friends and even though she trusts Sans, she still felt fear at seeing the smoky red of his magic no matter how much she tried not to. They have a short conversation about it and he tries not to use magic like that in front of her. Reader doesn't mind anatomy related magic. 
> 
> Hope this helps! Feel free to ask any questions about characters, my head canons for them or if there are things you might want to see happen, if it fits I'll work it in and tag you so you know.


	2. Bite Me, Sweetheart

Breathless you beat on the door, a sleepy Frisk answered after your second bout of banging.  

“Kid where’s your mom, I need help.”  They took one look at your face and ran off leaving the door open so you could enter.  Shutting the door behind you, you headed to the kitchen and stood nervously against a wall, the hood had fallen down from your head, your messy hair all but forgotten.  Toriel walked in with a look of suspicious concern.  

“____?  What is it child, you look like a mess.  And why do you have Sans jacket?”   You could see the questioning assumption in her eyes.  You heard something scuff against the ground outside of the kitchen but you didn’t turn to look

“It’s not that, I used it for a blanket at Die’s last night, that’s not the problem.  I fucked up Tori.”  And you told her, you told her about all the times you quietly stepped away to head off humans, all the times you argued to keep your friends safe or to even to keep the humans safe from monsters, since if you friends ever fought back it really wasn’t going to be a good time.  You told her about the few times the arguments got physical enough you slapped someone, of course those times it had been you they'd verbally and lewdly attacked, and when you got to yesterday and the small crowd of worked up humans you were shivering.  Guilt gnawed at you from the inside and you felt cold underneath Toriel’s icy stare.  Frisk was sitting at the kitchen table watching you without expression causing your skin to crawl.  Silence filled the kitchen until it pressed in on you and fought the urge to keep apologizing, what was done was done and all you could do now was try to fix it.  Finally Toriel sighed and her expression softened.  She walked over to you and you found yourself pulled into a hug, the smell of cinnamon cutting through the smell of mustard.  

“I’m not mad, dear.  I wish you had told me sooner,”  Your body slowly stopped shaking and you relaxed, the heavy stone of guilt shifting off of your chest a little.

“I didn’t want anyone to worry.”  Your voice was muffled in her fur but she heard you nonetheless and released you.

“We care about you, of course we worry.”  Frisk nodded from the table.  “How long have you been trying to protect your friends like this?”  You’d been arguing for monsters since you first met a monster, but the night you met Sans was the first time you had put yourself in the way of other humans on purpose before.

“A-a while.”  She pursed her lips.

“And this is the first time any real consequence has come of it?”  You nodded, and then shrugged.  As far as you knew this was the first time anything had really happened.  “Well, I’m not going to tell you stop if you insist on continuing.  It is admirable that you care so much about monsters and your friends to put yourself at risk, but listen to me child.” she forced you to look up into her eyes. “You need to be careful, you know better than I that one of these days you might try to stop the wrong human and find yourself severely hurt or worse.”  Cold fingers stroked your heart, you had realized this a while ago, stubborn as you were.  “If something were to happen to you because of your desire to ‘help’,” she leaned on the word.  “Then we are going to have to take care of that, and that almost seems counter productive to your efforts I would think.”  Now that was something you hadn’t thought of, you didn’t think they cared about you enough to actually want to put themselves in danger for you.  Your throat suddenly felt thick and you had trouble swallowing, you tugged at the fur on one of the jacket sleeves.  

“I’m sorry, you’re right.”  She smiled, triumphant.  For Toriel’s part, she did care.  The more you spent time with monsters and the more you befriended her children the more she had grown to like your quick wit.  Then she had heard from Frisk during the the winter holidays about your family.  You hadn’t gone to spend it with your parents, your siblings were too far away and busy to make the trip so you had intended to spend it alone at home, until Frisk told Toriel.  Toriel didn’t know the full details, but her soul went out to you and before you knew it you had been whisked away to her house.  Toriel quickly took further interest in your life since that day, making sure you ate enough and she had even considered asking you to stay with her as part of her family but she knew as a young adult you would probably prefer your privacy, that and she was trying to not force humans to live with her like before since that only seemed to alienate them, so she never mentioned it.  If she had, you probably wouldn’t have any idea what to say, you had cried for hours the night after Christmas, or Giftmas as they called it.  It had been such a warm and happy evening, like what it was like with your parents when you were younger.  You missed your family so much, and somehow finding yourself accepted into another one like that had been a shock to you.  Toriel didn’t know that, and you didn’t know that she affectionately thought of you as one of her own.  So when you told her about what you had been doing she had felt both immense pride and also deep concern for you.  She was more than pleased that you had such fire within you and your loyalty was always impressive to her but she knew if something happened to you then all of your friends, herself included would rain hell upon the earth in compensation.  

Of course seeing you in Sans’ jacket had raised a few more questions for her that made her grind her teeth, she knew what Sans had done though you never told her.  She heard it from Blue and Frisk, and she had seen the moments when you froze and your soul went deathly still.  Sans was her friend and Toriel was proud of you for trying to work past everything and had even managed to befriend him and his brother; but when your soul stilled for brief moments she got angry.  Sans was an idiot.  But he knew that, so all she could do was watch and hope nothing even worse happened.  She was relieved to know that the reason you had his jacket was not for the reason she thought it was.  You weren't the only to have noticed an improvement in Sans, Toriel had also noticed one in Sans since you had quite literally forced your way into his life; but she still thought you were too good for him.  Although Toriel had a feeling that if you were anything like your counterpart in Blue’s world, and if fate played its harmonies in parallel then there might be nothing she could do about it.

 

“So what do I do?  I mean I don’t have work so I can easily avoid that area for the weekend, but what if Edge or Sans walk past there and the crowd is still there?  What if Steph can’t get her boyfriend to back down?”   _ Please tell me what to do _ , you thought desperately.  Toriel tapped her chin and then walked over to the kettle and picked it up just before it started to whistle, you hadn’t even seen it on the stove.  Great observationist you were.  After a few minutes four mugs of tea sat steaming on the table and she gestured to you to sit down.  Frisk was already blowing on their tea, their eyes looking out into the hallway every now and then as if looking for or at something.  You looked at the fourth mug confused, Az didn’t really drink tea and you were pretty sure Asgore was still working on returning to Tori’s good graces.  

“Get out here.”  You looked up at Toriel’s voice and saw Sans walk in from the hallway, his brow furrowed but still smiling.  He was just wearing his red turtleneck since you had his jacket still.  How long had he been standing there?  The look he gave you told you that he had been there more than long enough.  You looked back defiantly, if the Queen wasn’t mad at you then he could keep his irritation to himself.  He sat down across from Frisk and you sat across from Tori.  “Well I think for now we let them run themselves out don’t you?  Come Monday we can help you get to work just in case and hopefully by then they will just give up.  No point in antagonizing them further.”  She looked at you pointedly and you pressed your mouth into a line shamefacedly, nodding.  Then she looked at Sans.  “And you, don’t you go running off and starting anything, I mean it Sans.”  You sipped your tea and raised an eyebrow at him, even Frisk was giving him a look.  He raised his hands in surrender.

“you don’t gotta worry ‘bout that, i’m too lazy to be bothered anyway.”  His smile widened showing nearly all of his sharp teeth.  The tea was doing wonders for your nerves you realized, and smelling it you realized it was Asgore’s go to for calming down, chamomile and likely boosted with magic. Toriel hummed thoughtfully to herself and finished her cup of tea, getting up from the table. She surveyed your disheveled state one last time, “Get her home Sans.”  With that she left the three of you at the table and you quickly turned to Frisk, your eyes accusing them of having Sans show up.  They shrugged apologetically, so your eyes narrowed and Sans looked between the two of you at your silent conversation.  

“oh come on, i’m right here for fu-”

“SANS!”  Toriel yelled from the other room.  He gulped and busied himself with the remains of his tea.  Frisk laughed and you gave in and laughed too.  Once all of the mugs were put in the sink Frisk left to go make sure Asriel was awake and you were left alone with Sans.  He narrowed his eyes at you, you remembered you were wearing his jacket still, removing your phone from the pocket you took it off and handed it back to him.  

“Thanks.”  You could see he was clenching his jaw.  “Oookay, well I’m gonna go.”  You picked your leg up comically high and spun towards the door making a finger guns movement towards the front door.  You got two comically large steps away before he grabbed your arm and you were in your apartment midstep.  You would have fallen if he hadn’t had a grip on you.  Still your foot fell through the air hard and jolted you.  

“how long is a while?”  

“Exactly what it sounds like dude, a while.”  You extracted yourself from his increasingly firm grip.  “Don’t worry, it’s not like I actually exchanged fisticuffs before.  Might have slapped someone before once or twice but they deserved that.”  He growled.  “Don’t give me that.”  

“one of these days-”

“One of these days what?  Huh? I know what might happen, I don’t have a fuckin’ death wish.  I just don’t like how you guys are treated, it’s bogus as all hell.  I never thought that you guys would care enough to do something if anything happened...I mean-”  You tried to shrug away the bundle of emotions inside of you and heard your voice waver for a moment. “That wasn’t my intention, she’s right it’s just counterproductive.”  You turned away from him, “But I am NOT giving up, I’ll just have to pick my fights a bit better in the future yea?”  You finally saw yourself in the wall mirror.  “I LOOK LIKE GARBO!”  You threw your hands up in the air.  You saw him in the mirror behind you stuck between wanting to argue and between making a joke at your expense.  “I’m not going to fight you right now Sans, you wanna yell about how I’m being stupid go find Paps and yell at him about it.  Bet you he will yell right back and you guys can yell until your souls’ content.  And when you’re done yelling we can go to the movies like we planned.  That microwaved stuff is good and all but you can’t beat fresh popped.”  He was still holding his jacket in one hand and after your vocal tirade he just grumbled to himself and put it back on and left.  He was definitely going to go talk to Papyrus he decided, maybe not yell but if Papyrus knew what you had been doing all this time, and now were in danger because of it at least he could do something about it.  You might not listen to him, but you might listen to Papyr...no, no you wouldn’t.  Undyne then, he decided, he would go talk to Undyne.  At least you listened to her advice.

 

The rest of your weekend was hell, but in a good and annoying way.  Undyne, having spoken to Sans made it her personal mission to make sure you could beat the snot out of someone if you ever got in a fight again, you tried to assure her that you were fine on your own and you only got hurt because there were more people than you could handle.  Of course then she pointed out the small hoard of humans milling around in the city somewhere looking for you and your skelebros.  Eventually you convinced her to show you how to get out of someone’s grasp and that seemed to placate her, although you still ended up aching from those exercises too.  Unfortunately for Sans this was not the outcome he was hoping for, not in the least, but it was better than nothing so he enjoyed the show.  At one point in the weekend, after getting Undyne to agree to let you rest you relaxed on the beanbag, your muscles cursing you and Sans both.  You convinced your friends to watch more Hannibal and eventually when Papyrus showed up you persuaded him to order pizza instead of making lasagna again.  You’d also brought your own snacks this time and was enjoying a lollipop when Sans appeared on the couch next to where you sat on the beanbag. 

“so how goes it? you look a little…” he smiled,  _ don’t say it _ , you thought. “ _ bone  _ tired.”

“Fuck you Sans.”

“bite me, sweetheart.”  You rolled the pop in your mouth for a moment.

“See now, I actually like biting,” your face spread into mischievous grin.  “But you see the problem is that it’s not good for my teeth to bite things that are hard too often,” you snapped the candy part of the lollipop in half with a swift bite down.  Sans swallowed hard, he hadn’t expected that response, and he hadn’t expected to like the wicked gleam in your eyes as you snapped the sweet in half.  He cursed you for being a tease and you laughed, trying hard to ignore the feral look of desire you swore you saw flit across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy some goat mom. ]:)


	3. You Could Have Fooled Me

Monday rolled around and you were greeted by Undyne, she had agreed to drive you to work in the morning and Toriel and Frisk would collect you afterwards as they had already planned to go to the park nearby anyways with Az.  Your body hurt like it never had before but luckily when you got to work you didn’t see any sign of the humans from before: you hoped that it was over with.  Work was pretty uneventful as per usual but you did find some decent music online during your break.  While you waited for Toriel and Frisk you sat listening to as much of it as you could, some of it was kind of sad sounding and some angry but it was all amazingly mixed and the beat of the music put a smile on your face.  You were busy swaying where you stood outside of the office so you didn’t notice Frisk run over to you until they were standing in front of you.  Jumping in surprise a little you removed your headphones, “Hey Frisk, hey Tori.”  

“How are you, ____?” Toriel asked when she walked up.

“Soooore. Everything hurts, but like a good hurt so I guess I’m ok?”  She nodded knowingly and started heading back towards her car.

“What were you listening too?”  Frisk asked walking beside you.  You handed them your phone and they put the earbuds on listening to the music, then they looked down at the song title with a look of pleasant surprise written on their face.  “I know this song!  Napstablook made this!”  

“No kidding.  He’s that ghost you spoke of right?  That’s pretty neat, tell him I said his music rocks, kid.”  They handed your phone back to you.

“Why don’t you tell him?”

“Cause I don’t _ know _ him?”  You gave them a look like it was obvious but they just bounced excitedly.

“I can fix that, when are you free next?”

“Frisk, my dude, I have no life outside of you guys I am free every night unless Undyne decides I need to keep practicing with her, in that case…” you shook the air in front of you, “SAVE ME!  Other than that I just sleep as soon as I get home and then end up staying up all night regretting my life choices.”  You heard Toriel laugh from in front of you.  

“Ok, I’ll text you when I can convince him to meet you.”  Shaking your head you walked in comfortable silence until you reached the car.  A few minutes into the ride you realised you weren’t being driven towards your apartment.

“Hey Tori, where are we going?”

“Home dear, you’re coming over for dinner.”  You mouth opened and closed for a second.  Asriel who had been sitting in the front of the car the whole time laughed a little.

“Well...alright then.”  Surprised you sat quietly in the back of the car and watched the buildings pass by.  It would be nice to have a home cooked meal for once, not that you didn’t cook at home, but Toriel’s cooking was amazing; as long as it didn’t have snails.  Fortunately for you being Toriel-napped for dinner meant there was no way Undyne was going to be able to force you to practice more.

 

The rest of the week was pretty normal, maybe better than normal as you didn't have a single nightmare that week.  Sans noticed your mood around him improving the longer the week went on but he didn't know why.  You kept your teasing to a minimum and bantered more easily.  At Toriel’s request he, Papyrus, and Undyne would sometimes travel past your work while you were there to see if they noticed any suspicious groups of humans, they tried to keep that from you but having an office window that overlooked the street meant you had seen one of them at least once each day until deemed it safe.  You kept that to yourself, it was nice knowing they cared.  

Another week passed and you counted yourself lucky, no angry humans, no nightmares, and even Frisk had said the ghost mix artist was willing to meet you. You got off of work a little early at the end of the second week.  It had been a day full of meetings and by the end of them even your boss was tired calling it a day for the whole office.  Cheers had gone up from everyone and you eagerly packed up your things for the weekend, you were supposed to meet Napstablook tomorrow and you didn't want to have to come back because you forgot something.  You bid your boss farewell, “See ya Monday Lyla!” and headed outside, it must have been the hottest day of the year so far and you quickly took off your outer layer shoving it into your bag.  You couldn’t help smiling, but you felt something nagging at you so you pulled out your phone and opened the conversation with Stephanie.

 

***did everything turn out alright?**

You waited for a moment and then went to put your phone back in your pocket, it buzzed in your hand. 

 

*yea actually…he seems have given up for the most part

*at least on the whole angry mob and pitchforks front

 

***yea well, good i guess...look i’m not trying to get chummy with you and i don’t want to start more shit, i just wanted to make sure we didn’t need to watch ourselves anymore**

 

*...i didnt want anyone to get hurt no matter how i feel about them

 

***you could have fooled me**

 

*i’m sorry, really

You squinted at the phone

 

* **no offense, but it looks like you’ve got some personal ish to work out and also maybe find a man not so prone to anger**

*** i don’t care about you or your world views, i know enough people that don’t like monsters as it is but let me give you a suggestion.  Try meeting some before you start throwing accusations again**

 

*yea, my nose just stopped hurting from the last time i did that

 

***fucking good, you gave me worse and i still wasn’t as pissed as you were**

 

*i get it…………...i’ll work on it…...i am sorry

 

You knew that that wasn’t going to change, there was always someone out there edging for a fight and looking for a reason to attack the monsters, maybe even the same humans from this group but at least they weren’t trying to organize a fucking witch hunt anymore.  You put your phone away and went to the park, if you were lucky the snow-cone cart would still be open.  You had to admit Stephanie was confusing, you didn’t know many humans that would do a one eighty like that once they’d fucked up that hard.  Maybe she would actually figure her shit out after all.  

 

The nightmares came back that night and you woke up tangled in your sheets.  You wanted to scream, how long was this going to go on for?  The rational part of your mind knew that there wasn’t any reason to be afraid anymore, you’d even started to get used to his eyes dimming with his moods without feeling any panic so why couldn’t you get past this.  You grabbed your phone and earbuds and went to the couch.  There you laid back down, it was only four in the morning, and you put on your new playlist.  You’d found that you liked quite a lot of Napstablook’s music and had been listening to it a lot lately.  The music helped your mood and brought you back to yourself.  Why was it you could look Sans in the eyes without anything happening and yet in your nightmares they made you afraid; maybe it was just context.  You fell asleep to the music and woke up again to your phone ringing.  The sun was out and it was Frisk.

“Kid it’s Saturday and I was sleeping, what.”

“Did you wanna meet Napsta or not?”  You sat straight up on the couch, nearly falling off.  You'd already forgotten that that was today.

“Hell yes I do.”

“Ok well mom’s gonna drive me over to you a few minutes so put your pants on.”  You looked down at your underwear and back at the phone.

“They are on.” your voice was suspicious but they just laughed and hung up.   _ Freaking kid. _  Hurriedly you got dressed and ran outside just as they were pulling up.  When you got in the car Frisk handed you a sealed bowl and a fork, inside it were some pancakes covered in syrup.  

“What’s this for?”

“Mom didn’t want you to go without breakfast.”  Surprised you looked at Toriel, she flashed you a smile and you couldn’t help smiling back.  The food was fantastic and you’d barely finished it before you found yourself at a house you’d never seen before.  Frisk hopped out of the car promising to call Toriel later and lead you to the front door.  You thanked Tori again and followed Frisk, noticing the yellow flower on their shoulder for the first time.  You guessed Asriel had decided to tag along.  Frisk knocked on the door and waited patiently for it open, sure enough the monster that opened the door was incorporeal and you could almost see through him, his red eyes didn’t bother you.  Most of your friends had red eyes it seemed.

“Oh hey Frisk,” he looked past Frisk and saw you there, his smile fell into a small scowl.  “I guess you can come in.”  His voice was a little irritated, as if he didn’t really want to meet you in the first place.  Shutting the door behind you, you noticed that the inside was pretty sparsely decorated except for the handful of MTT brand things that were scattered around.  From what you had learned of him you knew he hated Mettaton despite Mettaton trying to make things up to him and you assumed all the MTT things were Mettaton’s way of trying to fix things.  Frisk hadn’t really told you what he was trying to make up but this kind of thing felt like family trouble. “This is ____!  I told you about her.”  Napstablook followed your movements.

“I love your work!” the words blurted out of your mouth and you smiled.  He gave you a look and then looked back at Frisk’s earnest face before allowing himself to smile in return.

“Hmmph, well thanks I guess.”  You sighed with relief.  For the rest of the morning you asked him questions about his music and the more questions you asked the less irritated he seemed.  You were genuinely curious and after last night you had a better appreciation for his music.  You wanted to ask him to show you how he mixed the audio, never having had the ear for it yourself but you were afraid it would make him angry again so you refrained.  Lunch time rolled around and you heard a small gurgle from atop Frisk’s shoulder.  Az hadn’t said much all morning, he just seemed happy to be there but when his stomach growled you decided to take pity on him. 

“I think it’s about time for food yea?  Would you like to join us Napstablook?”  He looked at you for a moment and then turned down the offer, saying something about annoying humans.  You stood up to leave and thanked him for meeting you and letting you bother him with all of your questions.  Frisk seemed pleased with the outcome of the morning and bid Napstablook goodbye as well.  Together with Frisk and Asriel you walked with them to the bus stop, the consensus being that the food court at the mall was the place to go.  Asriel wanted one of the pretzels and you couldn’t help but agree, it was a soft pretzel kind of day.  On the bus your phone buzzed with a notification **NAPSTABLOOK22** **sent you a friend request**.  You accepted immediately, maybe later you could ask him more questions.  

 

At lunch you sat with Frisk and Asriel listening to the background noise of the mall around you.  “Hey Frisk?”  They looked up at you, sometimes you were always so startled to see eyes that were so much older than their owner and shook your head,  “Nevermind.”  You had wanted to ask their opinion on your nightmares but sometimes you forgot that they were still a kid and you didn’t want to put that on them, they were already an ambassador for monsterkind.  They looked at you confused and then looked at Asriel who shrugged his leaves.  You finished your pretzel and went back to watching the crowd around you.  Who could you honestly talk to about this, looking for help, that wouldn’t turn it into a big thing.  Sans, you knew you needed to talk to Sans but how the hell were you supposed to go about doing that?  “You guys wanna look around when you’re done?  They opened a new toy store last month I heard, we could go look for it?”  Both kids eagerly agreed and finished their food quickly.  

 

A couple of hours later Frisk called Toriel to come pick you all up, a bag full toys and games in their hands.  You were impressed at the size of their allowance when you asked, and you weren’t one to tell a kid no if they had worked for it.  Toriel sized up the bag with a small frown when she saw it and looked at you with a wordless question to which your only response was a shrug and climbed into the backseat of the car.  The drive back to your apartment was uneventful apart from Toriel asking you over for dinner, unfortunately you had to turn down the offer as you had been asked to watch more Hannibal with everyone.  

 

You conveniently forgot to talk to Sans that night, and for the next few weeks as well.  The nightmares didn’t go away completely, and some nights when you woke up and were unable to sleep you would message Napstablook.  He never asked you why you were up so late and he didn’t talk a lot, but you appreciated being able to distract yourself with idle conversation. His conversations were never super happy ones but as time went on he seemed to get a little less short with you.   After a particularly bad day he agreed to let you watch him work, but in the end you just ended up hanging out and laying on the floor listening to music or his works in progress.  He seemed to enjoy your silent company and never said no if you wanted to come over, it was a nice surprise honestly and a pleasant change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally I had wanted to to try to spread out posting chapters for this, but I really wanna get to the good stuff and since my birthday's next weekend I figured "to hell with it" let's get to the good stuff. So I'm gonna try to get to the good stuff. 
> 
> As I'm working on it here's a question for you guys. How do you think reader should go about working on her issue with Sans' magic? 
> 
> A. actually talk to him about it  
> B. conveniently forget until it all comes to ahead and then they have no choice but to work it out because they're in too deep at that point  
> C. (make your own suggestion)


	4. Never Have I Ever

Summer was in full swing before anything exciting happened, although maybe that was an understatement considering who you were friends with, but there was a sense of normalcy to your life.  And with summer came your birthday, not that it had been a big ordeal for many years but this was the first year you would be able to spend it with your friends.  You had considered taking off today but honestly there wasn’t much you would have done except maybe sleep half the day away.  So you’d hoped for a simple evening with your friends, you’d already planned on picking up a cake to share with them and maybe have a few drinks, although now that you thought about it you wondered if you even remembered to tell them what today was.  Either way at least you were going to be with your friends. Filled with excited energy you rushed outside, colliding with someone hard.  Stunned you tried to step back but whoever you had run into had grabbed you and was holding you in place.

“well hello to you too sweetheart.”  

“Ah, Sans lemme go!” you felt Sans laugh as you flailed against his embrace weakly.  “You-”

“happy birthday doll,” his breath tickled your ear and you shivered.

“-ass….thanks Sans.  Can you let me go now though?”  You tried to look up at him and was rewarded with a mischievous grin.

“i dunno, i kinda like having you this close.”

“Sans let her go, we have to get moving!”  Sans released you and you turned to see Frisk eagerly standing beside him, Asriel bobbing happily on their shoulder.  

“Happy Birthday!” Their unison greeting was adorable. 

“Thank you, thank you, though I am surprised to see you guys, what brings you here?” The two kids shared a look and grinned as if sharing a secret.  

“You’re coming with us!”

“O...k….but I need to take my bike home and I was supposed to go to the store before tonight.”

“We can help with that, what did you need at the store?”

“I was gonna pick up a cake to share with everyone.” They started giggling.  “Unless there’s something you aren’t telling me.”  You looked up at Sans’ face, he just shrugged with a smirk.  Sighing exaggeratedly you crossed your arms and waited for someone to start explaining; you had an idea what was going on.

“i’ll drop your bike off at your place and then we can  _ roll _ out.”  Sans disappeared leaving you with Frisk and Az. 

“You gonna tell me what’s going on?”  Frisk shook their head stubbornly so you turned your attention to Asriel, he was a sweet little flower but terrible under pressure.  “Well, Az?  What’s up?”  He looked at you, opened his mouth and then hid behind Frisk’s hair.   _ Of course. _  Before you could ask anything else you felt the air behind you change slightly then you smelled mustard.

“Took you long enough,” you didn’t even turn around.

“how did you know it was me?”  You knew it was him before you smelled him.

“You smell funny.”  Asriel giggled and you smiled.  “So where am I being kidnapped to?”

“Don’t worry, everything is gonna be taken care of.”  You raised an eyebrow at Frisk.

“Somehow I’m not entirely reassured but I also don’t care.  Lead the way…” you gestured to the empty air and suddenly felt yourself being grabbed from behind as Frisk grabbed ahold of Sans.  “Shhiii-” The word died on your lips as you found yourself face to face with Toriel.  For once you were grateful that Sans was holding you up because the sudden shift had caused you to lose your balance.  You stumbled back into his chest and he could smell your hair, he liked your smell and he’d noticed that fact a while ago.  Seeing the look Toriel was giving him he let you go and stepped away, leaving to go join the others.  

“Good, you made it,”  she gave you a large smile and then pulled you in for a hug.  You were getting a lot of hugs today you noted, and for a moment she reminded you of the Toriel from Blue’s world.  She gave nice warm hugs too. “Happy birthday, now follow me this way.”  You saw that Frisk and Az had already left with Sans so you followed, excited apprehension building inside of you.   

 

There wasn’t a bunch of people hiding to scare you with greetings much to your relief, but in the main room was all of your friends.  All together in one room and grinning from ear to ear they really were a formidable group, you could almost see why humans would be afraid of them but honestly, the sight of them all together warmed the cockles of your heart. You would learn later that Napstablook had been invited as well but his birthday greeting to you explained his aversion to crowds and you were just glad that he thought highly enough of you to share that.  In all honesty the sight before you, it seriously made you wonder what you had ever done to deserve a family like this and you felt your face heat up and your eyes water.  Toriel pushed you gently into the room and your friends were quick to pull you into the circle.

“____ WHAT IS WRONG?  IS THIS NOT TO YOUR LIKING?”  You craned your neck back to give Papyrus a huge watery smile.

“It’s perfect Paps, I’m just really happy.”  He looked down at your face and patted you on the shoulder before retreating back across the room, he wasn’t sure how to handle the amount of genuine emotion on your face and he knew that there was a blush in his cheekbones: which was unseemly for the Terrible Papyrus.  You discovered that Toriel had baked a cake and comparatively it was better than any store bought cake you could have gotten today, that and the dinner she had prepared was beyond amazing. 

 

After cake were the presents and you were relatively surprised that they had gotten you anything.  Die and Alphys had gotten you your favorite game after hearing about how hard it was to find and you recognized your gift from Frisk and Asriel as a themed deck of cards you had admired from the mall the day you first met Napstablook.  From Papyrus you received a wicked looking pocket knife, apparently Toriel had played ground control on his gift and you were rather curious what he had wanted to get you in the first place.  When you opened it you saw a note attached that read “TO HELP WHEN THE GROUND HAS FRIENDS”, he may never let that go but it was the sweetest thing he’d done for you and you decided to risk his wrath by hugging him in thanks.  He just patted you awkwardly on the back again with a scowl and even Sans chuckled at that, stopping when Papyrus looked at him with narrowed eyes. 

You were so wrapped up in the evening that when Sans handed you a poorly wrapped box you had almost forgotten seeing it earlier on the table.  He avoided your eyes when you took it from his hands and shoved his hands back in his pockets, suddenly defensive of the whole thing, sweat beading on his forehead.  Quickly you opened the package and gasped in surprise, he had gotten you a set of black over the head headphones, and when you rotated them you saw the sides had bright red skulls.  It was such a Sans accessory and stars above if you didn’t love it immediately.  Your earbuds were frayed from all the love they’d received over the past couple of years, your longest lasting pair of earbuds, but these were amazing and thoughtful and maybe you were riding the high of all these positive emotions but the only thing you could think to do was kiss him on the cheek in thanks.

“These are the best Sans, I love them.”  He blinked in shock and touched his cheek where your lips had been only moments before, red flooding his face.  

“n-no problem sweetheart, glad you like them.”  Your eyes were so bright when you looked at him, as if he had just given you the world and he was at a loss for words.  All his usual quips escaping him.  He watched you hang the headphones around your neck and move to plug them into your phone when your eyes widened, your phone was ringing.  He saw you hesitate and the smile on your face strain as you lifted the phone to your ear.

“Dad?”  Sans’ eyes widened in surprise and he looked over at Frisk who was watching the two of you intently.

“Hey sweety.”  Why was your father calling you, you hadn’t spoken to him for almost a year, you couldn’t even remember if you’d spoken to him on your last birthday or was that the last time you spoke to him.  “I just wanted to say happy birthday.”   _ Really? _

“Umm thanks.”  You heard your mother in the background and wondered if she was going to speak to you too.

“Listen sweety-”

“Dad if you called so you could lecture me you better hang up right now, I was in an amazing mood literally thirty seconds ago.”  You heard a heavy sigh and then a moment of silence.

“Dear we are just worried about you, we’ve heard someth-”

“Let me stop you right there, you waited a year, until my birthday no less, to do what exactly?”

“We just want you to be safe, we still love you.  We don’t like what we’ve been hearing and I had hoped that maybe you’d be willing to listen today.”

“Seriously?  I’ve listened to you guys before and I know what you’re gonna say.  I’m safer than I’ve ever been in my life!”  You smiled softly at Sans who was grinding his teeth in poorly concealed irritation.  “I love you guys, but until you can just accept that this is my life and what I do with it doesn’t need to affect you like you make it, I wish you’d just leave it alone. There’s a reason I didn’t try to talk to either of you in the last year.”  A tense silence filled the air around you, some of your friends had stopped talking and you could feel eyes on you, you just wanted to go back and never answer the phone.  Toriel walked up and rested her hand on our shoulder andyou leaned into the comforting warmth.  Why couldn’t you have both of your families and be happy?  A heavy sigh came through the receiver.

“Ok dear, I love you.”  And then he hung up.  You felt drained and sad, you turned towards Toriel and leaned into her with a shaky breath, luckily she realized what you were asking for and hugged you until you were composed enough to put a smile back on your face.

“Thanks Tori.”  She patted your arm, a conflicted expression in her eyes and then left to put the food away.  Idly you fingered the headphones around your neck, conversation had resumed around you and you were lost in thought up until Die threw her arm around your shoulders.

“Looks like the birthday girl is ready to go get drinks.”  You laughed and smiled up at her.

“Thought you’d never ask.”

 

Undyne and Alphys had driven to the party so you put your gifts in the back seat and went back inside to thank everyone for such a wonderful day.  Toriel told you she would save the rest of your cake until you could return for it, you knew she was just trying to get you to come over more.  Sans said he and Papyrus would meet you at Undyne’s place and teleported out.  You realized you would need Undyne to stop by your place first because you didn’t plan to end the night sober which meant you wouldn’t be able to get home.  Enthused by your dedication she agreed and before long you had a small overnight bag sitting against the wall of her apartment.  Papyrus didn’t seem one to drink much so Undyne challenged him to a few games and the both of them quickly increased in volume; Alphys was a moderate drinker you noticed but she seemed to be enjoying herself nonetheless.  With your new cards you instigated a couple rounds of ‘ring of fire’ and it really wasn’t long before you slipped past tipsy.  As a drunk you were more handsy, your inhibitions down you catered to your need for physical contact.  Not to mention you lost your filter, so the longer the night continued the more you ran at the mouth.  The jokes and banter between you and Sans escalated to the point that Papyrus threatened to kick you both out, to which Undyne, who was laughing her ass off, said it was her house and she would suplex him if he tried.  

This was the first time you’d seen Sans drunk since you’d first forced your way into his life and at first you had been worried, then you realized you were worried for all the wrong reasons.  He wasn’t sulking but he was boisterously lewd, cracking as many jokes as he did innuendos, all of them directed to you and if you weren’t such a touchy-feely drunk and already so comfortable in this environment you would have been concerned by how freely he touched you back.  Holding you on the couch with a joke, putting his arm around your shoulders and stroking your arm, touching your neck, or a hand on your back when you leaned forward to grab a card.  Everything just felt like a new normal for you in your current state.  Eventually, somehow, the five of you found yourselves in the middle of a game of ‘Never Have I Ever’, it was something Undyne had heard about and wanted to try.

“NEVER HAVE I EVER HAD SEX!” Everyone but Papyrus put a finger down and he looked smug, you and Die shared a look and struggled not to laugh, it was good for him to be proud of that not enough people were.  

“Ok ok, fine, never have I ever set fire to my kitchen cooking pasta.”  You smirked as Undyne and Papyrus threw you dirty looks and then started laughing.  

“Alright punk, never have I ever had trouble sleeping through the night.”  Shocked you put down a finger and then saw Alphys, who shrugged and said ‘It’s been a while,” and Sans, drinking from his mostly empty cup do the same.  Drunk Undyne didn’t hold anything back when she wanted to win.

“How did you know?”

“Dude, how many nights have you crashed here?  I know.”   _ And she never asked you about it _ , you shook your head at her; not wanting to know why she had been awake late enough to hear you awaken in a panic.  Still, you looked at Sans who was looking at you with the same expression, what was he waking up from?

“I am honestly feeling so attacked right now.”  You held up your free hand to your chest. Everyone looked expectantly at Alphys, she seemed to be taking her time and then you saw Undyne lean over and whisper something to her.  Your eyes narrowed, you were being ganged up on.

“Never have I ever flirted with a skeleton.”  Grudgingly you put down a finger, now you were losing and being singled out.

“So attacked...Sans he _ eelp _ .” You felt more than heard him laugh through the couch.

“alright, never have i ever...been in the royal guard.”  Papyrus and Undyne put down a finger.

“ALRIGHT BROTHER, NEVER HAVE I EVER LEFT MY DIRTY CLOTHES LYING AROUND THE HOUSE!” he looked smug until he saw every single person in the room put down a finger, then he looked affronted.  One more and you and Undyne would be out.   _ Never have I hurt anyone? _ No that’s a lie.  _ Never have I killed anyone? _  You didn’t want to know the answer to that, knowing what you did about how they made it to the surface.   _ Never have I ever used magic? _ No that’s petty.   _ Never have I ever not been human. _  That was even more petty and you wished that it was a lie.  You could single out Undyne, but then Alphys was gonna get you next turn, would it be worth it though.  Yea, it would.

“Never have I ever been in love.”  Undyne and Alphys both lowered a finger slowly.

“Are you KIDDING ME?  I’m out, this is bullshit.  One of you little shits better avenge me!”  Despite her tone of voice she was smiling.  Alphys chewed on her lip thoughtfully.

“Never have I ever had a fictional crush.”  You choked on your drink and gave her a look of disbelief.  

“I call ultimate bullshit anime girl!  Put that finger down right now!”  You said angrily as you also put down a finger.  You stared her dead in the eye until she lowered her last finger, then it was the brothers left.  “And then there were two, have at it boys.”

“heh, never have i ever called myself great or terrible.”  

“OF COURSE YOU HAVEN’T SANS, I ONLY SAY IT BECAUSE IT’S TRUE.”

“nah, it’s ‘cause i’m  _ sans _ ational.”  

“THAT WAS TERRIBLE!” Papyrus was glaring.

“That was fuckin’ great!”  You laughed.  You realized Sans was going to win, he went before Papyrus in the turn order and he seemed to realize this as well because he just shrugged and put his hand down.  You both knew that Papyrus didn’t like to lose and you weren’t looking forward to how he’d handle it while wasted.

“eh, i think i’ll call it after that one.”

“BUT SANS-”

“Come on Paps, did you really wanna beat him that bad?” he looked at you and then turned away.  Realization dawned on his face.

“IT IS VERY LATE, PERHAPS IT’S BEST I DON’T HUMILIATE HIM AT THE MOMENT.”   While they argued about who would have won you retreated to the bathroom and changed into your men’s gym shorts and a tanktop and brushed your teeth.  You needed to lie down, if you had anymore to drink you knew you were going to be sick in a few hours.  When you returned Papyrus had somehow tipped Sans off of the couch and taken control over it, he was raving about something and you had no idea what.  Maybe getting him drunk wasn’t the best idea in the world.  You flopped face first onto the giant beanbag and listened to everyone talk around you.  The beanbag shifted to your side so you rolled over and looked at Sans, he was resting his head on part of the beanbag and staring up at the ceiling.

“did you have a good birthday, sweetheart?”  You reached over and stroked the top of his head, causing him to stiffen and then relax.

“Yea, I did.  More than I ever expected.”

“good.” 

“Hey Sans?”

“hm?” 

“Why do you have trouble sleeping at night?”

“you tell me and i’ll tell you.”

“Fair enough, just not now.  I’ve had too much to drink.”  he just hummed in response.  You reached behind you and dug in your bag for the blanket you’d brought and pulled it over yourself.   “I’m gonna hate going to work tomorrow, maybe I should just call out.”  Sans tilted his head so he could look at you.

“you seriously thought you were going to be able to work tomorrow, after this?” You shrugged and he shook his head slightly before turning back around.  Another hour passed before the girls went to bed and Papyrus had declared that he would be sleeping on the couch.  Sans was already asleep using part of your beanbag for a pillow and you were too comfortable to want to offer it to anyone else so you just closed your eyes and drifted off.  The smell of alcohol and mustard accompanying you into sleep.  

 

Thanks to your alcohol infused sleep you didn’t have any dreams that night and you slept so soundly that when you woke up you were disoriented.  You reached for your phone to check the time and jumped up from the beanbag in panic “SHIT”, you’d slept through your alarm and were very late to work.  Sans grumbled from his position on the floor, burying his face into the beanbag.  You noticed you had a few missed texts from Lyla and you grimaced, not looking forward to what was in them.

*hey ____, one of your friends called this morning and said you overdid it last night 

*honestly you should have just requested off ahead of time

*either way i marked off one of your sick days for you, he said you needed to sleep

*don’t worry about anything just feel better and i’ll see you on monday

 

You read the messages over a second time and then looked down at Sans, dead ass asleep and shook your head.  After you’d cleaned your mouth out and drank about two glasses of water, regretting everything you’d drank the night before, you climbed back onto the beanbag and sighed.  

“Thanks Sans.”  He didn’t hear you but that was fine, if you remembered you’d thank him when he woke up.  

 

Sans had woken up when you jumped from the beanbag, the weight change had his head sinking further towards the floor. He faked being asleep after that, wondering what you were going to do.  His brother had long since left, never being one to sleep more than a few hours at most, regardless of how much he’d had to drink.  He knew he was going to hear about Papyrus’ hangover later.  He could have gotten up and moved to the couch, but then you got back on the beanbag beside his head and thanked him and suddenly he didn’t want to move anymore.   You were curled into a ball on the beanbag and he could feel your breath tickling the top of his skull, it reminded him of how close you had been last night, how free with your touches, and how he’d disregarded everything to take advantage of touching your skin, keeping you close.  Your body heat and boisterous attitude, the pliancy of your skin, the more flirtatious you’d gotten and the more he had wanted to pull you onto his lap.  He grinned into the fabric of the beanbag, entertaining himself with thoughts of how that would have gone.  But why did you have trouble sleeping at night?  His smile extinguished and he laid there listening to your breathing slow until he too fell back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this chapter I loved it then I reread it like 6 times and decided to just go ahead and post it before I rewrote it again.


	5. One Step At A Time

 

You were woken up again later in the afternoon to Undyne yelling, she was trying to get both you and Sans up and out of her house.  She was not a good post drunk buddy you realized.  Finally Alphys hushed her enough that you were able to make sense of what she was yelling about, Sans was already sitting up on the floor grumpy as all hell.  Your head was still a little heavy but you knew once you had some food and water you’d be fine, you hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before and it was already well past lunch.  Trying to wave Die off you grabbed your belongings and your gifts from the day before and tugged Sans up from the floor.  He was surprisingly light for how big he was, you guessed he really was just bones.  As far as you knew skeletons were pretty light, an average sized human skeleton weighed about forty pounds but Sans was a monster, you had expected some sort of weight to him.  Instead you yanked on him harder than necessary and fell back on the beanbag pulling him with you.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Sans just get me home.”  He grinned at you wickedly and the next moment you were on your couch and Sans was still on top of you.  Your heart picked up pace a little and you saw his grin morph into a smirk.  Your eyes narrowed dangerously, “Sans.”  The growl in your voice caused him to reel back in surprise allowing you to get enough leverage to push him the rest of the way off of you.  You looked away from him so he wouldn’t see how flustered you were, burying it under the annoyance.  The air behind you changed and he was gone.  When did you start noticing how the air changed when he teleported to and from an area, it was odd to say the least.  You fell back onto the vacated couch and willed your heart to settle.

 

Neither you or Sans mentioned the incident on the couch, and neither of your broached the topic about sleepless nights either.  You knew you should talk to him about his magic but you never convinced yourself it was a good time to bring it up.

 

Shortly after your birthday you successful threw Die off of you in one of your self defense lessons.  Something neither of you ever expected, of course then she proceeded to try to noogie the ever loving life out of you in joy.  You had no idea if it was pure dumb luck or if you had really improved enough but it was a huge boost to your confidence.  You tried to convince her that you didn’t need to continue to train anymore but she just eyed you with delight, a weak human like you had managed to knock her off of you there was no way in hell she was stopping there, you quickly excused yourself before she could rope you into her new plans.

You rode over to the park and decided to go sit by the giant pond, normally you don’t take the bike trails because you prefer the smoothness of the paved main pathways but today something pulled your attention to the dirt paths.   _ Why not, it’s faster anyway. _  The paths were empty and sloped downhill just enough that you easily gained speed.  The wind felt fantastic against the sweat that’d formed on your skin and you smiled slightly, maybe you’d take these paths more often.  A group of people were standing in front of your trajectory, you hadn’t seen them around the corner and you couldn’t slow down fast enough.

“LOOK OUT!” You tried to turn away from the group and found yourself riding right for Sans. “SANS?!”  you turned your bike away from him and found yourself barreling towards a tree, you shut your eyes.  You felt the bike stop suddenly before impact and you toppled over. Immediately you were on your feet again, ripping your helmet from your head.  You had heard angry tones before you almost crashed and your heart was in your throat.  Without even thinking you placed yourself in between Sans and the group of human men that were too shocked at your entrance to continue their threats against your friend.  You looked at Sans with adrenaline coursing through your body, he didn’t look hurt in fact he seemed more surprised to see you than anything else.  “What’s going on here?”

“we were having a conversation is all.” 

“Are you friends with this  _ monster _ or something?”  One of the men asked, recovered from his shock.

“Yesssssssssss?”  The s hissed out of your mouth as you turned to fix him in your gaze, fury rising to your eyes.  He took a step back and then squared his shoulders.

“Listen little girl it would be best if you left, this beast already used magic on you, that’s a crime in itself and I’d hate to see a pretty thing like you get hurt by a creature like that.”  His friends chuckled, eyeing you appraisingly.  You felt a sneer spread over your face and you took a menacing step forward, you may have been smaller than them but they all looked like they had been burned; exchanging suddenly uncertain looks.

“A crime to use magic against a human, not to help.  Do you really want to test your luck with me?  I should have run all of you over.”  Sans grabbed your arm, he didn’t understand what he was seeing in your soul and it was worrying.  It was pulsing so strongly, burning almost: there was so much passion flowing through you.   He knew the color of your soul, orange  just like that kid with the bandana and sometimes it was so light it almost looked yellow, but he thought he saw a different color.  Souls just didn’t change color like that, no matter how strong your current attributes were. But for a moment not even a second he thought he saw a splash of black or maybe it was purple, your soul was so bright it was hard to tell.  Then it was gone, it went away the minute you stood up to the humans in front of you.  The men saw him grab your arm and their sick sense of righteousness spurred them through your anger.

“Let go of her you filth!”

“Sans,”  You turned slightly, your gaze softening when you saw him.  “I was going to go sit by the pond why don’t you come with me.”  You knew if this went on longer someone was going to get hurt, and you weren’t exactly sure who.  

“sure, sweetheart.”  He released your arm and picked up your bike and helmet, the men took a step towards him but you were already by his side, a hand on his back, clutching his jacket as if you were holding him back from the annoying humans when in reality it was the only tether you had from screaming at them.  Sans knew you were just trying to diffuse the situation and if leaving meant it got you out of harm’s way he was more than happy to go along.

“Come on man, it’s not worth it.”  You heard retreating footsteps and then suddenly running ones.  You whipped around, the knife Papyrus had given you already in the palm of your hand, one click and it would spring open.  The man skidded to a stop, his friends standing stock still in shock.  You glared at him, a silent dare for him to take one more step forward, to say one more word.

“My friend, my life, my  _ knife _ ,  _ your  _ choice.”  Sans felt his eyelights shrink slightly, your voice was so dark, so low, so heavy in warning and he loved it but honestly if this was how you were when you handled things alone too then you were going to get yourself killed one day.  He was always one breath away from summoning his magic, he had already been one moment away from teleporting away before you showed up.  But now with you here he couldn’t just use his magic, he had already slipped up when you nearly hit the tree and he was waiting for you to crash from your adrenaline rush to fully realize that.  Why did you have to make things so complicated?  If something happened to you especially because of him, he wasn’t sure what he would or wouldn’t do.  

You waited for the man to say something and when he didn’t you put the folded knife back in your pocket and turned back, pushing Sans gently so he would start walking.  “Who started it?”  you didn’t try to lower your voice, there was no point.

“i was about to head home when they found me.”

“Why didn’t you just leave?”

“i wanted to see what their deal was first, wasn’t going to let anything happen.  you ran into me before i could leave.”  You hummed in the back of your throat in response to that and kept walking, ignoring the voices talking amongst themselves behind you.  “why are you here anyway, didn’t you have training with undyne?”

“Oh yea, we finished early.  I managed to throw her off of me and convinced her to let me leave before she could try to make me do anything else.”

“fuck, really? you threw undick?”  He gave you an appreciative look.

“Don’t call her that, and yes. Could have been luck but anyways I thought I’d enjoy the rest of the day.  Decided to take a new way down and found you, I’m glad I did.”

“wish you hadn’t.”  his voice had sunk into a growl, “those guys could have hurt you and you didn’t even flinch.”

“I had you.”

“bullshit,” he flashed you a look.  You walked in silence for a bit, your pulse returning to normal and your mind preoccupied.  You should have crashed, but you hadn’t.  Your bike should have been wrecked, but he saved you.  You looked up at his scowling face, you hadn’t gone into a panic attack, you weren’t even upset, maybe now you should talk to him.

“Sans?”  he turned his scowl towards you and raised a brow, sweat forming on the back of his skull, he knew what was coming.  “Thank you.”  He blinked, his scowl faltering, ok maybe he didn't.  Why couldn’t he just stay mad at you for being reckless, that was so much easier.

“yea, um, yea... you’re ok?”  you beamed up at him. Now that wasn’t fair.

“Yea, I am but…”  he looked at you nervously.  “I...can we talk?”

 

When you got to the grassy bank of the pond you sat across from Sans and tried to articulate your words.  If he hadn’t used magic to help you, you’d be in a lot of pain right now and you knew he was acting skittish around you because he’d done so, afraid you’d freeze up.  You couldn’t just ignore this problem anymore.

“So...I want to work on it, my...problem.”  He blinked at you, confusion on his face.  “With you...your magic, Sans.”  You chest was hurting, this was harder than you thought.  Sans noticed you tearing up pieces of grass more fervently the longer you talked.  “I mean...I don’t really know how to work on it?  I just, I want to be ok again.  I want us to be ok, y’know.”  You looked at him and then found yourself looking away at the water.

“is this why you can’t sleep at night?”  You glanced at him and looked away quickly, you felt terrible and hadn’t meant for him to figure that part out.  For his part Sans was both impressed and feeling like the biggest piece of trash in the world.  He’d suspected, ever since your birthday that he was the reason you had trouble sleeping, of course he jumped on any reason he could to justify why he thought he was trash, but now that you’d all but confirmed it out loud, well that reality was heavier than his imagined one.  He didn’t have any idea really of how to help you, he wasn’t even sure what exactly made you fear his magic.  If he thought about it maybe he could compare it to someone who had a fear of heights after a really bad experience with it, or someone who couldn’t cross a certain street after being hit by a car on it.  The only thing he could think of to help was exposure, but he didn’t want to suggest that and make it worse.

“I want to see it,”  He looked up at your face in surprise.  “Your magic, maybe….maybe y’know, small doses...at least until it stops affecting me?”  He could hear the determination in your voice, the bravery that straightened out the waver in your words.  Finally you looked at him, you were a little scared, he could see that but you were also stubborn and he knew you’d already made your decision.  

“ok.” That was all he said on the subject and without looking away from your face he summoned some of his magic to his hand, the light casting a dim glow on your face as the clouds rolled over the sun.  He saw your body tense up, your eyes glued to his hand and he held his breath.  He wasn’t sure how long you wanted to put yourself through this but the second he realized you were starting to hyperventilate he extinguished the magic, sweat dripping down the back of his skull.  Slowly, agonizingly slow, you turned to look out over the water and took a deep breath.  He didn’t say anything, he didn’t feel he had the right to but he was conflicted, not sure how to help in this situation.

 

“One step at a time.”  Your voice was shaking and you didn’t look away from the water. The returning sunshine warming you back up from the cold sweat that had broken out on your forehead and lower back.  “I’m-we’re gonna get through this...one step at time.”   Finally you looked back at Sans who just looked at you impressed before he fell back onto the grass.  He pressed a hand to his eye socket and chuckled.

“you’re fuckin’ crazy, sweetheart.”  He’d do anything to make up for his mistakes in the past, but he hated that he had to hurt you more to do so.

You laid down beside him and looked at the clouds. “Yea, but if I wasn’t we wouldn’t be friends and we wouldn’t be in this mess.”  

“i wasn't complainin’.”

 

After a couple of hours laying on the bank of the pond, where Sans decided to take a nap, you made him teleport home and you rode your bike home, already planning to do nothing the rest of the weekend.  When you got there you had a message waiting for you from Napstablook.

*hey

***whatsup buddy**

*i just finished the new track and thought you’d like to give it a listen.

You checked the time and figured if you left now you could make it to Napsta’s place in an hour and still be home before dark.  You often wondered if it would make your life easier to just move closer to or move into the monster district, but then work would be the farthest part of your journey so you decided to suck it up.

***i’ll be there in about an hour give or take**

You grabbed a snack and water bottle and relocked the door.  Traffic was worse than usual on a Saturday so you ended up getting there a little later than you had planned and a little sweatier than you’d hoped too.  It was so blasted hot outside that all the time you spent baking in the sun and waiting for the lights to change had done a number on you.  When you knocked on his door Napstablook almost looked relieved to see you.

“Oh good, you aren’t dead yet.”

“Yup still living, sucks right?.”  He chuckled and you closed the door behind you. Once inside you pulled out your headphones from Sans, you’d tried to take really good care of them but they were still covered in finger print smudges and scratches from your bag. At least they looked as loved as they were.  Napstablook had somehow gotten a small couch for when you visited a little while ago and at the style of it you wondered if Mettaton had been the one that had gotten it for him. You weren’t one to comment on something like that and you were always thankful for a comfy place to sit after the ride over so you flopped onto the cushions, chugging your water.

“Dying?”  You waved him off with a laugh.

“No, just hot outside. So let’s hear it show me the newest masterpiece that you’ve brought into this world.”  He laughed a little, it always made you feel good to make him laugh as cynical as he was.  He didn’t seem as if he laughed enough in his… not life?  He let you plug your headphones into his computer in between the couch and his desk and hit play for you.  It was amazing, it had all the low tones you loved and the rhythm had you bobbing your head along to it.  The music had an almost sad atmosphere to it but all in all it sounded really badass, like what you would play during a really emotional, epic fight or something.  When it was done you looked at him expectantly. “Blook this is fucking awesome! What’s it called?”

“Nightmares.”  You blinked at him and looked away, it was oddly fitting.

“Perfect, Blook.”  He brightened up at your praise. He didn't know any humans besides Frisk but he knew enough about them that it wasn't normal for one to wake up at three in the morning and talk about music and various other topics on a relatively regular basis.  But Napstablook had grown oddly fond of your company and conversations, even on days when he was in a foul mood you let him simmer until he was willing to talk again.  So on the nights his computer dinged to alert him you'd gotten online he'd started to work on this piece.  You never spoke about what woke you up and he never asked.  He would never admit that he thought of you as a friend and he'd never admit he made this in some part because of you but a part of him hoped you'd appreciate it.  A knock at the front door made both of you freeze. “Expecting anyone?”  He just seemed to sigh in annoyance.

“No but I have an idea I know who it is.”  He glared towards the door as it opened from the outside.  If you said Mettaton sauntered into the room that would have been an understatement, the four armed, four eyed robot made entering Napstablook’s house a show unto itself.  

“Napstablook, dear cousin I know we left on rather unhappy notes last week but I - Oh hello there beautiful!”  His eyes zeroed in on you as you were putting your headphones down on the arm of the couch.  “Is this the human the good doctor Alphys has spoken of, cousin you didn't tell me you were friends with her.”  He pouted accusingly at Napstablook who, if he had eyes proper would have rolled them.

“Because it's none of your business, Hapsta.” He bit off the last word like it was an insult and Mettaton flinched.  What had happened between these two you wondered.  You eyed the two of them with apprehension, the tension in the air rife with anger and hurt.  Mettaton seemed to collapse a little under his cousin’s glare until you sighed and stood up from the couch.  

“Nice to meet you Mettaton.” You reached out a hand not sure which if his hands to shake.  His eyes looked at you gratefully and he grasped your hand with both of his right ones.

“Oh the pleasure is all mine dear!”  you heard Napstablook scoff behind you.  You extracted your hand from Mettaton’s extremely friendly grip and gave him a smile.  “So, how long have you and Blook been friends?”

“A couple months I guess.”

“Why do you even care?” Napsta’s reply mixed with yours.  

“Hey uh, do you guys want me to leave?”  The cousins shouted no and then Napstablook glared at both you and Mettaton.  “Okaaay.”  You shuffled awkwardly where you stood, “I'm just going to go sit down then.”  

“Hapsta why do you keep coming back here?”  you were pretty sure you were being kept around to stop either of them from going off on the other, but you weren't sure there was anything you could do to stop them if something did happen.

“Because I’m sorry, and I'll keep telling you this for as long as I need to.”

“Until what, until you feel better?”

“No, until you do.”

“I was happy when you blew the fuck up, you want me to feel better then you should have stayed that way!”  you jumped up from the couch.

“NO!” they looked at you startled.  “look, I….i don't know what happened between you two but that's just plain harsh.” 

“Why do you care?” you shrugged at Napstablook.

“Because no matter how many issues I could ever have with someone, especially my family, I would never wish them dead.”

“That’s what makes you weak.”

“Christ on a bike dude, I thought coming to the surface meant a second chance. For your life, for your friends, for family?  If you didn't want me here then why did you tell me to stay?”  you heard him growl in anger but you stared him down, if you were gonna put your foot in it then you might as well take a running leap.

“She's right Napstablook, I'm just trying not to waste mine.”  

“Why should I care?! Why should I care what either of you think?!”  Mettaton glanced at you and then looked away.  

“I never said you had to care I was just making a point.”  You shrugged defiantly, Napstablook looked ready to lash out and you were steeling yourself for whatever came next.  Nothing happened, he just seemed to deflate slightly as if he was trying to choose his words carefully and not liking any of his options.  Eventually he just drifted back to his computer and put his headphones on, you could hear the sound of music blasting from them.  You knew that your visit had come to an end and you picked up your things, it would be easier on you to just pay for a bus and not deal with the long ride home so soon.  Mettaton looked like he wanted to say something more but you ushered him outside and shut the door behind you.

“Thank you, he doesn’t really listen to me.”  Why did he sound so sad?  You unlocked your bike and turned to look at the robot.

“Look I have no idea what happened between the two of you, but you can’t force something to be there if it isn’t no matter how much it hurts.”  He nodded sadly, he knew that.  “Ah, geez ok just give him some time, maybe he will talk to me. Not that I’m promising anything, and not that I’m doing this for you.”  You pointed at him, “I’m doing this because I’m curious and I don’t wanna end up in the middle of more awkward shit like that.”  Before you could register the joy on his face you found yourself barely holding your bike up as he pulled you into a hug.

“Oh you really are beautiful, darling! Thank you!  I can see why Alphys is so fond of you.”  You started to lose the ability to breathe and tapped him with your free hand.  “Oh dear, my apologies.” 

“It's,” you sucked in a breath, “fine.”  You didn’t know Alphys actually spoke about you on her own, you guessed she liked you more than you realized.  “You gonna be ok?”  The look on his face looked like he could start singing at any moment.  Not too many people, monsters or humans really spoke to him like he was a person, let alone someone with emotions and here was some random human female with a genuine look of concern on her face.

“Oh I will be just fine.  Do you need a ride home?  My car will arrive in a moment.”  He really just wanted to keep talking to you but you declined the offer, shaking your bike slightly to indicate your reasons.  Mettaton was somewhat disappointed but nodded his understanding.  When you bade him farewell he watched you ride away with interest, already dialing Alphys phone to learn more about you.

 

When you located a bus stop you were relieved to see the bus you needed already on its way up the street to you and when your bike was on the rack and you had located a seat you messaged Napstablook.

***hey dude, thanks for showing me the song**

***let me know when you put it online so i can get it**

You tried to make sure you bought his music when you could, it was nice to support a friend even in small ways like that.  A few minutes later a file appeared in the chat and you realized he had sent you the song to download.

***are you sure? Thank you!!!!!**

He didn’t respond but still you smiled and downloaded the song on your phone and put it on repeat, listening to it until you reached a stop close enough to your place to ride back without dying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think I'm writing something a bit funky I welcome feedback and will try to grow from there.
> 
> *can you figure out what's going on with our dear reader?*


	6. We Can Terrorize The World Together

You were taking your lunch break at Grillby’s as per usual, ignoring the ungodly amount of mustard Sans had put on his fries when your phone went off.  It was a text from an unknown number but as soon as you saw the contents of the text you swore.

“what’s up?”

“Mettaton got my number somehow and I’m thinking I know who gave it to him.”  Sans choked on his food, coughing a little and getting mustard all over his teeth.  “Gross dude.”

“when did you meet that tin can?” 

“The same day I nearly ran into you with my bike.”

“how did that happen?”

“He showed up at Napstablook’s place.”

“what were you doing over there?”

“He wanted to go over nosey.”

“what’s nosey?”

“You are, jackass.” He rolled his eyelights.  “I have friends outside of you Sans. Still he showed up.  I have no idea what their problem is but being in the same room as both of them was... uncomfortable.”  Sans shrugged, he knew you had started talking to Napstablook he just hadn’t been aware the two of you had actually become friends.  Napstablook was a dick in his opinion, although the same could be said about him so he just kept that to himself.  But Mettaton was talking to you now, something about that made him uneasy. 

“what does the glorified calculator want anyway?” 

“I think he was just saying hi.” You read the message again, “in as many words as I used to use to bullshit my way through an essay apparently.”  You responded to the text with a short ‘hey, how did you get my number’ and went back to your food.  A series of messages hit your phone at once and you read them idly, ignoring the look on Sans’ face.  You were correct in thinking Alphys had given Mettaton your number although it took him a few messages to get to that.  He was a very enthusiastic person and he seemed eager to get to know you better and had apparently arranged a day out with you, Die, and Alphys the upcoming weekend to the mall.  Normally you'd have been irritated plans were being made for you but it worked in your favor as you had recently discovered your swimsuit didn't fit right anymore, too many years of running it through the dryer and weight changes.  He asked about Napstablook but you hadn't spoken to him since that day, his response to that was disappointment but he quickly recovered and continued cheerfully.  After a few more minutes of a surprisingly pleasant conversation you told him you had to go soon to return to work.

* **Hey I gotta finish my lunch with sans and get back to work**  

 

 ***** Alphys mentioned you spend a lot of time with him. ;)  

You felt the back of your neck heat up, you hadn’t even realized that you did.

 

* **not like that dude**

 

***** Does Sans know you're talking to me?

 

***yea?**

 

***** I bet you he is giving you that ‘face’ right now.  You know which I'm talking about darling.”

 

You looked up from your phone and sure enough Sans was looking at you with poorly concealed distaste, his usual smile pulled into something halfway between a sneer and a smirk. You read the message again, glancing back at Sans and started to laugh.  His expression soured further.

 

***You're right he is. How'd you know?**

 

*Oh it's no secret how he feels about me, ever since I showed interest in his brother.

 

You raised an eyebrow at your phone, well now you were really looking forward to this weekend.

 

*** Well alright then, I'll talk to you later Mettaton**

 

***** Toodles dear.

 

“Something wrong Sans?”  He opened his mouth to respond, took in your amused expression and promptly shut it again.  “Well ok then, oh hey!”  You opened the browser on your phone and found the tab you had left up to double check the dates.  “The summer fair is next month!”  You hadn’t missed a year of the fair, you didn’t always go on the rides but you often liked to wander the local artist stalls with some cotton candy, maybe watch a couple of shows.  This year you’d wanted to go with your friends and had almost forgotten that it was coming up if it hadn’t been for your co-workers talking about it thatmorning.

“oh yea that’s  _ fair _ ly soon isn’t it?  never been, think the kid went though.”  Sans already knew he was going to be going this year whether he wanted to or not .  

“Do you not want to go?  I was hoping we could all go together.”  Your voice sounded like you were already expecting him to tell you no.  Sans didn’t know if he could tell you no, that thought brought sweat to his forehead.

“no, i’ll go.”

“Oh good!”  Your phone alarm went off and you jumped in mild surprise, “Hey I gotta go!  I’ll see you later ok?”  He mumbled his response and abandoned his food in favor of drinking straight mustard.  Sans watched you run over to Grillby to pay for your lunch, he saw you look back at him and then turn back to Grillby and nod before laughing and leaving to go back to work.  When Grillby walked over to collect the dishes he looked pointedly at Sans.

“just put it on my tab Grillbz.”

“No need, she already covered you for today.”  Sans choked for the second time.  

“why the hell would she do that?!”  

“I couldn’t tell you, but I am not going to complain.  I find I quite enjoy her patronage, and not just because she pays,” he looked at Sans again.  “Don’t fuck this up again Sans.”  With that he left, the sound of crackling flames following him.  Sans stared after him and then looked back towards the front door but you were already out of sight. 

“what the hell.”  He rubbed the back of his skull.

 

You had been feeling pretty generous today to pay for Sans lunch, you knew about the tab he had running from his time Underground.  Grillby had told you back when you were still afraid of Sans.  You might have felt a little bad about being short with him in regards to Mettaton and Napstablook, but in all honesty his reaction to you paying for his food was really what you looking for.  As you were entering your work Grillby sent you a text.

*You were right.

You giggled to yourself.   _ Perfect. _

 

 

A few days later you found yourself antsy, you hadn’t gotten very good sleep lately and work was starting to wear you down because of it.  After trying to go home and relax and failing, you sat in front of your computer idly debating whether or not you should try to get your friends together to do something, anything.  You sent a tentative message to the group chat asking if anyone was free and decided you would take a bath for once to see if it would help.  At least the hot water would ease the tension that had built in your back from sitting at a desk all day.  You drew the water and unearthed your mostly full bottle of bubble bath, it smelled like passionfruit and honey.  You’d bought it cause it smelled good but rarely used it.  Once the bath was full you put your phone on your towel next to the tub and submerged yourself as best you could.  After you’d surfaced and washed your hair and your body you relaxed against the wall of the tub and checked your phone.  Alphys was at the lab but said she would be happy to hang out when she got home, everyone else had answered in the affirmative as well.  Undyne asked when she should expect you over which made you laugh because of course you were that predictable.  You thought about it, surveyed your state in the tub and said that you’d be there in about thirty minutes.  Then you messaged Sans.

***hey, would you mind getting me to go to Undyne’s**

 

*do i have a choice

 

***yes…**

 

*sure i do, when?   
  


***im in the bath right now should be done in about 15 or so, you know how to let yourself in**

 

*is that an open invitation

 

***no sans**

 

*well if you change your mind i can always help heat that water back up

 

You shook your head at his joke, but you found yourself thinking about it for the next minute or so, growing increasingly uncomfortable in the tub.  Not uncomfortable in the sense of where you sat was uncomfortable, but that you found yourself feeling uncomfortably heated.  You thought back to your birthday and the morning after, to the day you’d bitten the lollipop in half and you’d seen the brief moment of desire on his face.  You thought about some of your more recent dreams, dreams where you couldn’t really remember what had happened but you had woken up wet and tense.  You’d only had dreams like this a few times in between some of your nightmares recently.  The more you thought about them the more you tried not to think about what and who was likely the subject matter.  You sunk down into the water, trying to ignore the ache that you were feeling.  

“Damn it.”  Irritated you drained the tub and got out, the cool air making your shiver.  You dried off quickly and got dressed so you could sit on the couch and dry your hair while you waited for Sans. He showed up about when you expected and took one look at your hair, standing in all directions from your towel and guffawed, sputtering when the towel then ended up in his face.   

 

After a few zombie films that night everyone found themselves in a heavy debate regarding their survival strategies in a zombie apocalypse.  Sans was pretty adamant that he would just sleep through it or teleport away and Die and Papyrus were more than confident that they would be able to fight their way through anything.  Of course then you broke all their arguments by telling them that they needed to think of how they would survive without magic, like you would.  Very quickly Alphys, Die, and Papyrus’ plans became even more extravagant and you just listened with growing amusement.  Papyrus’ ideas sounded a lot like some deadly Home Alone film, maybe you should make him watch that this Giftmas.  Sans abstained from the debate once you’d put your stipulation in except for when he asked you how you would do it.  You were sitting on the floor next to his legs and you laid your head back against the couch cushions and looked up at him.

“I’ve already long since resigned myself to my fate.”

“so what, you’d just end yourself before you turned then?”  He didn’t like that thought.

“Nah, I think I’d probably just turn.  Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll turn with someone I love and we can terrorize the world together.  Unless of course I’m still conscious of what’s going on and just have no control...then well I hope someone would kill me.”  you stared up at the ceiling.  “OR!” Sans flinched at your sudden outburst, “or maybe if you get turned you actually die and it’s just your body running on its own, then I wouldn’t really care cause I’m not there anymore.”  You threw your hands up in the air and back onto the couch behind you.  “Either way, I’m not surviving unless by some stroke of luck I can find somewhere so secluded and protected with food and shelter that I could just live my life there in solitude...but I don’t think I’d want to be alone forever so maybe I’m back to square one.”  Your eyes shifted back up to Sans’ and he was just looking at you with an expression you couldn’t read and then he started shaking his head and laughing.  You tugged on the part of his jacket you could reach.

“What’s so funny bone head?”

“you. honestly you keep thinking like we’d just leave you on your own to die.”  He was still laughing, but inside it kind of hurt that you still thought that you were alone.

“Oh….well...then I guess I better make sure I pull my own weight if the world ever ends.”  Your eyes were shining and your soul was burning brighter than it had all night, Sans just shook his head one last time, unable to ignore the fact you hadn’t let go of his jacket.  

 

 

 

Mettaton’s day out arrived and you weren't even given the option of sleeping in on Saturday because as soon as nine A.M. rolled around Undyne all but busted down your door.  You answered the door in a large t-shirt and your underwear disgruntled and grumpy.  Undyne forced her way inside, her voice just above what you would call an indoor voice.  Alphys followed closely behind smirking at you and just as you were about to close the door Mettaton walked in.  You narrowed your eyes, glad the shirt you were wearing hung past your ass. 

“What the hell guys, a little warning maybe?”  You crossed your arms and glared at the monsters now sitting in your living room.

 “Oh come now, darling, just get dressed.   We have an exciting day ahead of us.” Why was anyone this cheerful in the morning.  Grumbling you walked past them and into your room, showing your disdain by closing the door harder than necessary.

 “That’s the spirit punk!”  Die laughed at the muffled grumbles coming from your room.  Once you'd dressed, cleaned your teeth, and tamed your hair you once again stood with your arms crossed in front of your friends.

 “We gonna go or did you wake me up early just to fuck with me?”  Undyne grinned at you and moved to head out.  Mettaton in the other hand stood staring at your attire, old worn jean shorts and a tank top with a few holes near the hem.  

 “I see I certainly have my work cut out for me, darling.”  You glanced down at yourself and then back at the appraising look of the monster in front of you.

 “Oh hell no metal man, I’ve got one thing on my list to buy today.  Besides I have more than enough clothing thank you very much.”  You ushered him out of the apartment and locked up.  The ride to the mall wasn’t that bad, Mettaton had insisted on his car taking everyone to the mall.  You noticed that Mettaton tried to sit as far from Alphys as possible despite their easy conversation.  Now you had a list of people Mettaton didn’t seem to get along with completely and it just seemed to keep growing: Sans didn’t like the star, Undyne was more or less ambivalent towards him, Alphys seemed to like Mettaton but he seemed to be a little wary around her, and of course his cousin professed to hating him.  Yet here he was, almost as if he was trying to foster friendships that he wasn’t even completely invested in, well...except for you.  He devoted a lot of attention to you, and you realized that you were likely the one thing keeping everyone relatively content in each other’s company.  When did you become _that_ person?  Still you did your best and the tension in the car eased incredibly by the time you reached your destination.  

 

“Hey Mettaton, can I ask you a question?”

 “Of course, dear.”

 “Why does Sans, not like you exactly?”  Undyne started to laugh and Alphys just grinned toothily.

 “Oh well...I met his brother once after we made it to the surface, he is such a big fan you know.”  You’d realized.  “But I was completely taken by him at the time, so confident and his conviction...and he turned the most adorable shade of red when he spoke to me.  I had wanted to continue getting to know our dear captain but the moment his brother discovered that...well he made it perfectly clear what he would do to me if I continued.”  Mettaton trailed off wistfully, the perfect picture of a star crossed lover. 

 “Wait...you like Papyrus?  I didn’t take him for the kind of person to like anyone or to well, no offense, attract anyone.  Honestly being who he is, you’d have to have be able to get past his nigh impenetrable defenses to even see how sweet he really is.”  Undyne started guffawing and choked, causing Alphys to clap her on the back until she could breath again.

 “Punk, you’re killing me.  Papyrus?  Sweet?”

 “Yea, he is, once you get past...well...Papyrus.”  You shrugged, it was hard to explain. Months ago you wouldn’t have ever thought you’d call him sweet but the more he accepted you the more you caught onto all of his little quirks, all the ones he tried to hide when he caught himself showing he cared and that happened more often than you’d ever thought it would.  Honestly, if your own brother had been half as much a hard ass as Papyrus you could see them getting along, especially with how fiercely loyal they both were.  “Eeeither way….I mean still I wouldn’t let Sans stop you from trying to get to know Paps.  Maybe I can convince him to get out of the house or something one day…” You tapped your chin.

 “I-I’m more than confident he’d do whatever you asked him ____.”  Both you and Mettaton looked at Alphys in surprise.  “Well….because...you know.”   Mettaton’s face turned back toward you with awe and you swallowed.

 “Because why?”  Did your voice shake?

 “Cause you’d kick his ass if he ever said no.”  Alphys looked at Undyne with a look of surprise.

 “I would never!”  You looked taken aback but then you started to laugh, “I mean ok maybe, if it was important.  In this instance yes, but I completely respect his opinion to be a lazy lump of potatoes on most days.”  

 “Oh! We’ve arrived!”  Mettaton said, changing the subject abruptly.  He winked at you while he spoke.   _Why though_?

 

 The first thing you did when you got inside was find a fresh pretzel and quiet your stomach, then you found yourself pulled from store to store by either Mettaton or the Girls.  Mettaton wanted you to try on a variety of clothing in many different stores but after explaining for the hundredth time that they were not your style and they weren’t in your budget, which you were sticking to, he finally relented.  But at some point in the morning the girls wandered off when you weren’t looking and you found yourself the reluctant tag along on Mettaton’s browsing spree, he never really seemed to buy anything but he loved to look and get ideas from the different things he saw.  You figured having four arms definitely made it hard to find clothes that fit.

 “So what’s up with you and Napstablook anyway?”  Mettaton froze with a dress held against him, he looked at you from the mirror. “Oh come on, I’ll let you play dress up with me for...half an hour.  He hasn’t really spoken to me for a while so I can’t just up and ask him about it.”  Mettaton’s eyes searched your face for a moment and then glanced back at your well loved clothes before returning to the rack he had looked through earlier and pulled out three different dresses you had seen him look at.  He shoved them into your arms eagerly and pushed you towards the changing rooms.

 “You go try these on.”

 “But-” You were pushed into a room and the door was shut behind you.  Grumbling to yourself you eyed the dresses in your arms and pulled out the one that fit your style the most.  You didn’t mind skirts and dresses, in fact you had quite a few but riding a bike to work was not really conducive to those kinds of clothes, plus you hated heels and dress shoes.  If you couldn’t get away with boots, sneakers, or your flip flops then it was not an occasion for dresses.  As you started to undress you heard Mettaton start to speak from outside the room.

 “My cousin made it clear the day I left, when Alphys made my body, that he was...unhappy.”  You paused for a moment to unzip the dress and then stepped inside it.  “I thought about leaving my life then, to go back, but it was too late.  I wasn’t al- We had already worked so hard, I couldn’t just back out.  So I embraced the future of fame.  The longer I was gone, the more fame I accrued...the more Napstablook...well let’s just say he never forgave me.”  You stepped out of the dressing room impressed that he had managed to grab the right size garment for you.  It hugged your top half appealingly and puffed out at your waist so it didn’t cling to your body, you hated clothes that accented the parts of you you disliked.  “YOU LOOK GORGEOUS! Oh do spin around for me!”  You had left your socks on but Mettaton didn’t seem to care, so you held your arms up in a half shrug and spun around slowly thankful the skirt of the dress didn’t lift too much with the effort.  Afterwards you took a small bow and grinned at the praise, maybe shopping with Mettaton wasn’t so bad.  He shooed you back into the room and after admiring yourself in the mirror for a moment you stripped it off of you and hung it back up.

“We used to be really close you know.”  You looked at the door of the room, Mettaton sounded sad.  “Yes we are family, but we were best friends too.  We were all the other had, and I ruined it.  I never wanted to-I…”  He trailed off as if he was really just a shell of who he could have been.  Quickly you pulled on a second dress and stepped from the room.

 “Hey Mettaton, can you zip this for me I can’t reach.”  He looked up at your apologetic face and smiled, zipping up the back in one fluid movement.  And the process repeated, he had you spin and he gave his opinions on the cut of the dress and you returned to the room to try on the next.

 “I thought once we had freedom from the Underground that things would be different.  After I, well Alphys rebuilt me after my accident.”  The way he said accident sent a chill down your spine, he said it so casually as if it were a well practised line.  “But that only made my cousin even more angry, I haven’t given up on him but each time I see him it get’s harder.”  He fell silent and you peeked your head out of the room to look at him, he had his head in two hands and his other two arms were wrapped around himself.  You’d never seen anyone look so vulnerable, so sad, so _broken_.  The final garment hung on you untied but after shifting on your feet for a moment you walked up and put a hand on top of Mettaton’s head.  Even his hair was metallic. At the gentle touch he lifted his head to look at you.  

 “I don’t know if I can really help, or if it’s even my place but...family.  Family is a hard thing to lose, or even give up on.  And I’m not saying give up but uh...and it’s ok to hurt but….you can’t let them keep hurting you.  Whoever you are now, whoever you want to be...if you only cater to those that hurt you then no matter how like a star you try to be I don’t think you will ever shine.  Um...I’m shit at this kind of stuff...here.”  And you gave probably one of the most awkward hugs you’d given in your life.  You were sad and you felt like shit and every word you said to try to help just made you feel like you weren’t saying anything right.  Despite your sudden insecurities Mettaton hugged you back, the sadness that hung off of him slowly slipping away.  When you released the hug you realized he had tied the dress for you in the process and you just raised an eyebrow at him.  He smiled at you expectantly and you spun around for him again, at least this didn’t require talking.

 

After you’d finished modeling the dresses he had chosen you put back on your comfy clothes and walked back out.  The girls had rejoined you and when you looked at the bag in Alphys’ claws she blushed and pushed it behind her back.  You hung the dresses on the fitting room discard rack and asked if you could stop by one of the stores you liked to find a new swimsuit.  The resounding answer was yes, but only if they got to help pick, and your response was only if you got final choice.  Alphys took an oddly interested part in this area, trying to get you to choose a very revealing red bikini set.  Your confusion as to why she would care even made Mettaton laugh and Alphys would only relent once you’d tried it on.  You had underthings that covered more than this swim suit but you played along.  When you emerged from the changing room you were kind of shrunk on yourself, feeling incredibly insecure at how much of you just stuck out around the small pieces of fabric.  At their insistence you took a deep breath and struck a pose falling back on sarcasm and bad jokes to make yourself feel better, eliciting some applause from Mettaton while Die wolf whistled.  Alphys adjusted her glasses and raise an eyebrow appreciatively and you felt yourself heat up with embarrassment and rush back into the room to try on the own you liked.

“Did you get it babe?”  Undyne’s hushed voice reached you and you narrowed your eyes.  Get what?  Shaking your head you tested out the durability of the suit you liked and found it fit you just the way you needed it to, and it wasn’t that bad on the cute front either and totally in budget.  You emerged to show it off, everyone seemed to agree it fit you much better than the red number and you quickly changed so you could check out.  Undyne was excited to have you show off your new suit in the near future, she had been wanting to go to the beach ever since it had gotten hot again. You figured being a fish lady meant she liked the water but her enthusiasm knew no bounds and you caught her excitement like a bug. 

 

After the clothing half of the trip was done you pulled everyone into the bookstore. You could spend hours in there and you didn’t really intend to buy anything today, you just never passed up an opportunity to go inside when you went to the mall.  You headed back to the graphic novel section with Alphys and Undyne, Mettaton having gotten sucked into the fashion magazines near the front.  You picked up one book that seemed interesting and flipped it over to the back.

 “Hey guys, are soul mates a thing for monsters?”  You looked up from the cheesy summary on the back of the book and saw Die and Alphys exchange a look.

 “Um, y-yea...why do you ask?” Alphys seemed excited about something you couldn’t figure out.  You held up the book you were holding and waved it for a second.

 “I was just wondering, I mean the idea of a soul was literally just that, an idea, for humans until you guys came back to the surface.  And I never really thought about it before now but,”  You looked at the book again and put it back in the shelf.  “Like the idea of soulmates was also just an idea of finding the perfect someone out there, it’s kind of daunting to think that there might be someone out here that you’re meant to be with.  Humans don’t have anyway to tell, do you?”  

 “Well,”  You could see Alphys getting into her zone, “most monsters are able to figure it out, it isn’t always obvious at first depending on how in tune with their soul the monster is and sometimes it takes a while for a well seasoned monster to make sense of the difference between love and the connection with a soul mate.  Often times it is like a call and answer from one person’s soul to another, in the most simplest of terms of course.  It is really much more complicated than that.  It becomes a lot more obvious once both souls start to react to each other, sometimes it can be a slow process hindered by emotions, mentality; really a variety of factors can hinder a soul’s ability to connect and reach out, or hinder the person from reading the signals of their own soul.  So, some monsters know the minute they meet someone and some are just too thick skulled to realize what is going on and put it together.”  She turned away from you and you couldn’t see her face but whatever she was doing was putting Undyne into a fit of laughter.

 “But...I mean what happens if you’ve already found love and then you meet your soulmate?  That sounds like absolute shit.”  It made you really sad to think about honestly.

 “Oh...th-that actually...I never thought of that.”

 “Are you two soul mates?”  Undyne picked up Alphys at your question and kissed her square on the mouth.

 “You bet!”  You smiled, so they never had to worry that they would lose each other.  

 “For humans, finding someone to spend your life with it seems like such a big deal y’know.  I guess I’m glad we don’t have to worry about that whole mess because then no one would ever settle down, they’d spend their whole life looking for their soulmate and they could be clear across the world.”

 “____, humans have soul mates too, they just don’t have enough magic to suss it out.” 

 “OK NOW THAT’S EVEN MORE SAD!”  Your voice drew the eyes other customers.  “The idea of meeting someone and not knowing and finding yourself in the wrong relationship over and over again not knowing that you already met that one person!  This is some fairytale BULLshit gone wrong!  Now I’m all upset, I’m going to get ice cream!”  You grumbled at the new information and marched your way out of the store. You could hear them talking quietly behind you as you left.  Mettaton looked at you confused before walking back over to the girls to figure out what he had missed.

 

 

Alphys found you inside the go to geek store of the mall enjoying your milkshake and browsing through t-shirts that were way too overpriced for you to ever bother buying one.  

 “Hey Al, where’re the others?”

 “Undyne got into an argument with Mettaton over one of his more recent shows.”

 “Bad?”

 “N-normal.”  You nodded and kept reading the catchphrases on some of the shirts.  You didn’t spend a lot of time alone with just Alphys so this was new.  “I’m sorry if learning about soulmates upset you, ____.”  You looked at her for a moment and then smiled.

 “Nah, you’re good.  I asked, I just don’t think I like the idea of someone leaving me because fate told them there was someone better.  What if your soulmate isn’t better?!  Forget it, the whole idea makes me upset, maybe it’s cause my past relationships were bogus anyway.”  You laughed to yourself and shrugged.  The two of you walked around the store in comfortable silence, her pointing out memorabilia from something she liked and you from yours.  At one point you found something from a show you hadn’t seen since you were little and showed it to her.  The blaze of nostalgia filling you with excitement.

“Check this out dude!  This show was my jam back when I was like yay big.”  She asked you questions about it and you answered them best as you could remember, “Honestly this show might suck major donkey dingus now…”

 “We should watch it!  Tonight!”

 “Alright, yea!”  A perfect moment of shared geeking out that suddenly crashed when you felt something tugging your head towards the opposite side of the store.  A few human girls were staring at you and Alphys with disgust and you bristled, they started moving towards you and Alphys.  Putting the object on the nearest shelf you moved yourself between them and Alphys. 

 “Hey, let’s go.”  

 “Wha-why?”  Then she saw who you were trying to block from her view and your defensive stance as you stood between the humans and her.  She growled a little in annoyance, she loved what humans could create but honestly they were all just worthless.  Well all save one, she looked back at you and noticed how bright your soul had gotten, your anger tensing your back up.  There it was, a splash of purple that was there one moment and then gone the next.  What was that she wondered; caught up in her thoughts she let herself be dragged from the store.

You found Undyne and Mettaton on their way to the store you walked out of seeming to have settled their differences or at least momentarily agreeing to disagree.  In Mettaton’s hands was a bag and when he saw you and Alphys we smiled wide.

 “Oh good, there you are, this is for you dear.  Something to liven up your wardrobe.”  You took the bag from his hands slowly, a smile plastered to your face as your eyes tightened.  When you looked, it was the first dress he had you try on, true you really did find it attractive, the patterning was fun and it fit you just the way you liked but.. _Oh goddammit!_ The receipt wasn’t in the bag and the tags had already been removed.  When you looked up into Undyne and Mettaton’s face they were smirking at you.  You tried to protest but secretly you were tickled pink and despite your telling him he shouldn’t have, you were holding the bag close to you.  Mettaton wrapped two of his arms around your shoulders and steered you towards the mall exit.  “Think of it as a thank you.”  You nodded in understand and grinned up at him.  For a moment Mettaton was taken again by the sincerity in your face.

 

 

Mettaton bid you all farewell once he had dropped you all off at Undyne and Alphys’ apartment, he promised to not be a stranger and you were almost sad to see him go. Then again, the entire ride back his mood had been lifted greatly and he was in full blown Mettaton mode, his articulation getting more dramatic by the minute, so maybe not that sad.  Undyne ordered food and Alphys located an online stream of the show you had talked about at the mall.   Before everyone was seated there was a loud banging on the front door. 

“It can’t be the food, I just hung up the damn phone.”  Undyne looked at you confused and you shrugged at the girls standing up to check the door.  You’d barely opened the door when both it and you were pushed towards the wall.

 “WHAT THE FUCK ALPHYS!!”  Sans burst into the apartment, his entire skull lit up like a stop light with rage in his eyes.  He waved his phone; you couldn’t tell what was on the screen but whatever it was had really gotten to him.  You huffed from behind him one hand on the door pushing it closed slowly.  He froze and turned as slowly as you would if you heard something terrifying in the dead of night.  His eyes locked onto yours and his face glowed brighter, sweat running down his forehead.  He shoved his phone in his pocket and looked from you with your raised eyebrows to Alphys nad Undyne with their devilish grins.

 “Hello Sans, we were having a _girl’s_ night, did you want to _join_ us?” You smiled at him sarcastically.

 “the fuck? no! alphys just...sh-she just...you…”  He was flustered that much was obvious.  

 “She what?”  Now you were looking at Alphys who yelped and dove behind Undyne.  “Let me see.”  You held out your hand to Sans.  He knew exactly how you were going to react to what Alphys had done, but honestly he did not want to get in the middle of that and teleported away.  “Mother fuck-Alphys what did you do?”  Manic laughter erupted from behind Undyne who in turn started to laugh.  Wordlessly you watched as a small clawed hand held out a cellphone and you walked over and snatched it up.  It was a text message conversation with Sans, the last thing Alphys had sent him was a picture of you in that red bikini set with the caption : Think she should get this one?  Your face turned nearly as read as Sans’ was, minus the glowing.   _What the ever loving hell?!?!?!_ You immediately called Sans and the second he answered the phone the only words you said were “delete it”.   Your voice was so deadpan that you swore you heard him choke on the other end of the phone when you hung up.

 “Just start the damn show you closet perv, now delete it yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some filler with a little sprinkle of plot. Bonezone soon, I will * the chapter's that have the dirt.


	7. I Can't Lose You

Neither you or Sans mentioned the photo after that, but sometimes you caught him staring at you and when you teased him in an attempt to make him flustered he cracked faster than before.  Part of you was embarrassed to say the least but like you once told Sans, you were stubborn enough to work past it, although when you caught him staring you started to find yourself flustered and your teasing became rather more harsh in response.  After the mall you also managed to get Napstablook to talk to you again, he was more short with you like in the beginning but that didn’t matter.  It was still progress, and after a couple of weeks of short conversations online he let you come back over to hang out.  You didn’t bring up what had happened the last time you were at his place which he seemed to appreciate.  You also didn’t have any idea how to process what Mettaton had told you but you knew that you were by no means going to tell Napstablook what the two of you had spoken about.  Your best option was to get him to tell you in his own words, then maybe he would listen to you.  Speaking of things you didn’t tell Napstablook about was the fact that after the mall trip Mettaton had become a lot more chatty with you.  A day wouldn’t go by that he wasn’t texting you asking your opinion on a new design, needling you about Sans, telling you about his opinion on other celebrities, asking about Papyrus.  The one time you had managed to talk to Papyrus alone about Mettaton he had, for lack of a better word, gushed about the monster celebrity.  He did seem a little put off that Mettaton had changed so much from the Underground, you learned he wasn’t quite as deadly as he had been but if anyone had a celebrity crush on Mettaton it was Papyrus.  Heaven forbid you mention that though because he damn near threw you out of the house the one time you did.  

You didn’t want to use one of your exposure sessions to help Mettaton meet with Papyrus though, it felt dirty and often times if things got too bad Sans would end up taking you back to his place to watch B horror films until you felt better.  But they were helping you thought, you were getting better, not much and not enough that the nightmares went away completely but your recovery time was improving and you managed to reach a point where you could get a few words out without your voice shaking or tears falling.  The sessions were always short though and Sans would sometimes get really serious and for a moment you were reminded of when Alphys had mentioned his work as a scientist.  All you knew about his scientific past was that something had happened or taken him from that life and you couldn’t bring yourself to ask him what.  Usually when you started to overload from exposure he would stop and his expression would get tight, he didn’t look at your face much until you smiled at him and he would breath a sigh of relief, he was still afraid of scaring you away.  Slowly, ever so slowly you were able to last longer, whether or not you wanted to was one thing you just made yourself do it.  

 

The longer these sessions went on, and you were forcing yourself through them a few times a week if not more, the more Sans started to notice something.  That purple, it was definitely purple, that he would sometimes see in your soul would spring up and swirl through the bright orange and the only reason he kept noticing it was how out of place it was.  Times during your exposure therapy with his magic when you got such a stubborn look on your face despite the shaking in your body, the purple would spring up and almost seemed to be soothing the dimming and stilling of your soul from the fear, coaxing it along for a little while longer.  Purple he remembered was perseverance and this shade of it was so familiar to him but then he would realize he needed to stop and bring you back out of your dark place and the splash of color was gone as if it never existed in the first place.  It nagged at Sans like a long forgotten memory that he should never have forgotten in the first place.  

The one thing he was shamefully thankful of about all of this was that you cared enough about him to have asked him to help you through this, this terrible thing he had done to you.   That at some point, even if you hadn’t said it out loud, you had forgiven him for what he had done.  Even when all he wanted to do was scream at you that he didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve forgiveness, he didn’t deserve your friendship, he didn’t deserve how happy you had made him.  He didn’t deserve your smiles, or your laughter, or all the care and love you gave him and his brother.  He didn’t deserve the right to sit beside you as you recovered from one of your sessions, and have you smile at him and tell him that it was going to be ok.  And he sure as hell didn’t deserve the way his soul longed for you.  But he couldn’t tell you any of this because if he did he knew you were going to get mad at him.  He didn’t deserve you but you weren’t going to let him decide that, and stars if he wasn’t just selfish enough to let you have your way.

 

The month flew by faster than anyone expected, so much and yet so little happened and everyone was happy in their own way that the day you came barrelling into Grillby’s after work, and threw your arms around the shoulders of Undyne and Papyrus everyone thought something terrible had happened.  But then they saw the joy on your face.

“GUYS THE FAIR IS IN TOWN!”  You shook Die and Paps with your excitement, you had been waiting for the fair forever.  It was like a cheap, little, annual amusement park and now you had friends to go with.  You felt like you were in grade school again.  Papyrus none so delicately removed your arm from his shoulder and turned in his seat to look at you.

“WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT THE FAIR, HONESTLY IT DOESN’T REALLY HOLD MUCH APPEAL.”  You hung off of Undyne’s laughter shaken shoulders with a look of disbelief.

“Well I mean if you’re an old grump sure, but the fun is going with friends.  Bad food, booze, games that are likely rigged but still fun to try, local vendors, RIDES! They’ve updated the haunted house this year, totally out of season and it always makes me laugh my ass off.  Seriously, it’s more fun with friends. Truuust me.”  You looked at him for a moment and a grinned bigger.  “If you still don’t have fun then, well I don’t know, I’ll get Sans to clean his room somehow.” Papyrus took your words into consideration.

“DEAL!”

“don’t rope me into this!”  You stuck your tongue out at Sans and Undyne laughed harder.  

“I GUESS I WILL JUST HAVE TO SEE IF IT IS WORTH IT FOR MYSELF OR NOT.”

“Ok, but no faking displeasure just ‘cause you want his room clean, that’s cheating.”  

“When are we going, punk?  I wanna try my hand at some of those “rigged” games again, last year I came out with some good shit.”

“Tonight, Toriel, Frisk, and Az are gonna meet us there.”

“you couldn’t give us any warning?”  You looked at Sans and his glowering expression. Alphys got up and pulled a chair over to their table for you and you sat down.

“I gave you warning, a month ago.  It’s not my fault you didn’t remember”  You pointed an accusing finger at him and he narrowed his eyes at you before taking a long swig of mustard. 

 

You all sat together talking about what things would be at the fair this year, even Papyrus became interested in the idea of there being a knife throwing challenge table.  Of course Undyne just scoffed at that, she threw spears how hard could a knife be.  You just shook your head, they would find out.  You caught Sans looking at you from time to time and if you caught him he would either look away sweating or make a joke at your expense.  Those brief moments before he realized you caught him staring again you felt heat rise to your cheeks, he had such an odd expression on his face.  

For his part, your utter joy at having your friends join you at the fair was so apparent and so contagious that your soul was almost blinding.  The more your friends got on board and the more excited they got in turn the brighter your soul got.  Your eyes were so bright and your smile so large, he hadn’t seen you this excited for anything except for your birthday.  The joyful surprise you’d experienced up until your father called was about on par with what he saw now.  He thought something he never thought about anything, you were cute, then he realized you caught him staring again and he covered up his mental blunder by making a seriously dirty joke; but you just laughed and inside he swore.  This was getting to be a problem but one he didn’t plan to share. 

Finally you got a message on your phone from Toriel that she was heading towards the fairgrounds and you jumped up, pumping your fist in the air.

“Alright party people let’s go.  See ya later Grillby!”  You waved back at the indigo barman and marched your way out of the building.  Undyne was quick to follow you, as excited as you were now, and the rest of the group trailed behind, different levels of amusement on their faces.  For Papyrus that meant his signature scowl was slightly less, scowl-ey.  Undyne had parked not far from the bar and everyone climbed into the car, which meant you were squished into the middle of the backseat between the two brothers, of course them being skeletons meant you weren’t really squished so it was actually comfortable.

“Sans, it’s like ninety degrees outside  _ why _ are you wearing your giant ass jacket?”

“we don’t feel heat and cold as extremely as you do, sweetheart.”  His gold tooth glinted in the setting sun as he smirked at you.

“Ok but you sweat like a pig dude, you gonna tell me it’s  _ not _ because of the heat?”

“MY BROTHER HAS ALWAYS BEEN SWEATIER THAN NORMAL MONSTERS, IT’S A GOOD THING OUR SWEAT DOESN’T SMELL AS MUCH AS A HUMAN’S DOES.”  Papyrus looked at you and turned up his nose a little as if he smelled something, you lifted your arm and sniffed and shrugged.  You just smelled like deodorant.  

“thanks boss.”  Sans said drily.

“Well if you insist on keeping it on then I get to store stuff in your pockets when I don’t feel like holding it.”  Sans looked at you his laughter dying in his throat.

“why don’t you just carry a bag like most of the other chicks in the world?”  

“The only useful bag for when you want your hands free is a fanny pack, and I left that at home because most of the things I take to and from work with me won’t fit and the bag that is big enough is staying in the car.  I’ve got all I need in my pockets: wallet, phone, and keys.”  He grumbled a little and sat staring out the window.  You could hardly keep from bouncing in the seat but when Papyrus gave you a stern glare you sat as still as you could and stared out of the window as well.  

 

When you arrived people were just starting to line up.  Luckily the first night the fair stayed open later than usual so the crowds weren’t nearly as bad waiting for the ticket booth to open. Although the minute it opened the line would always somehow be stretched down towards the parking area.  Toriel hadn’t arrived yet so you went ahead and got your ticket and entered the fair.  Having just opened it wasn’t difficult to navigate yet and the setting sun cast everything in oranges, pinks, and reds.  It was just bright enough that the lights all strung up weren’t too noticeable but in half an hour they and the mobile stadium lights would become the only source of light on the fairgrounds.  You and the four monsters walked around for a bit eyeing all the booths and scoping out the games and rides.  Once you saw they had a few new rides you immediately went over to get in line.  Alphys stayed behind, not wanting to go on many rides that spun you around and even Sans stayed behind for the first one, you wouldn’t leave him be until he agreed to go on the second one.  Undyne was first on each time and you’d even convinced Papyrus to go despite his argument that there was nothing thrilling about these so called thrill rides.  After the first one though he stopped arguing with you and you could have sworn you saw a smile on his face after a couple of the more violent rides that left you feeling dizzy and slightly queasy.  Sans tried to wiggle out of as many rides as he could but once in awhile when he was sitting next to you on a ride and the adrenaline was filling you with screams and laughter you heard him laugh a little, like he was surprised to be having fun, it just made you grin harder.  Any weird flutters you felt at hearing him laugh so genuinely you chalked up to being spun upside down.  

 

Sans wouldn’t have gone on any of the rides if you hadn’t asked him with that stupid grin on your face.  Not even the stupid wheel, especially not when Papyrus opted out of it, and definitely not when it ended up just being the two of you in a basket all on your own.  Or so he told himself.  You just stared out at everything with that same bright look in your eyes, a death grip on both the bar and his jacket giving away your slight fear of heights and he just stared at you the entire time.  His face growing redder and the back of his skull growing sweatier the entire time.  By the time that damn slow moving wheel got your basket to the top he knew he was in so deep that he almost reached over and pulled you against him.

“well you certainly seem to be enjoying this stupid thing.”  

“Normally?  No, not really.”  You glanced at him and then back up at the sky.  “The bigger ones of these are a bit too high for me I think, but right now everything just feels perfect!”  You bounced a little when you responded and when the basket swung at your movements you shrunk back and into Sans, looking anywhere but down.   _ Shit _ .  He gulped and took a deep breath, frozen the rest of the way down.  Alphys and Undyne had gotten off before the two of you and you could see some very distinct lipstick marks on Alphys’ face.  When they saw the two of you they almost looked disappointed, Sans had composed himself before getting off the ride.

 

Shortly after that Toriel located your group and you all left to get some food.  For fair food it was well, fair, decent even and the variety was pretty astounding.  Toriel didn’t want the kids going on any of the rides but you convinced her to let you take them through the little haunted house.  Papyrus and Undyne had already left to check out the games and challenges with Alphys in tow, and Sans was still eating so you, Frisk, and Asriel headed off.  It wasn’t too far from the food stalls so Toriel said she would be waiting for you there when you finished.  

 

Poor Asriel startled at every little jump scare and even you and Frisk flinched at a few of the better timed ones but all in all you spent most of the journey laughing and making jokes to ease the kids’ experience.

“Oh come on Az, Papyrus is scarier than this thing.”  You gestured to a fake skeleton that had been launched from a coffin.  

“You’re right, but he doesn’t jump out at you.”

“I think that is a good thing.”  

 

By the time you all left the maze like set up even Asriel was laughing a little at the cheesiness of it all.  You started to head back towards the food area.

“____?”  You paused and stopped beside you.

“Steph?”  Stephanie was walking up to you with a small smile on her face, she looked a bit different, a little more tired.  “Hey...uh….what’s up?”

“Nothing much I just saw you leave the haunted house and thought I’d say hi.”  She wrung her hands as if she was worried you were still mad then you saw her look at Asriel on Frisk’s shoulder and her smile grew a little softer.  She seemed to recognize they were both children.  “Hi there.”   _ Huh. _

“Steph this is Frisk and Asriel, kids this is Steph.  She’s the one that kicked my a-butt.”  She looked away ashamed.  “How’s things with the angry boyfriend?”

“I left him, you were right.  It only got worse from there.”  She didn’t look up at you and you sighed, you had your share of asshole guys in your life before.  

“Well hey, good for you! I hope you’re doing ok.  You seem to be handling Az alright at least.”

“Like I said, you were right.” She smiled softly at the children and then at you.  You made up your mind then.  “Hey come with me I want you to meet my friends.”  For a minute she seemed scared and then she straightened her shoulders as if she had made a decision of her own.  

“I’d love to.” 

 

Frisk never being one to ignore the opportunity to speak to a new friend quickly filled the silence.  You knew something had happened with Steph and you wanted to ask her about it but you also knew that look on her face, you’d seen it before, she needed a friend right now.  Something nagged at you and you turned your head toward an oncoming voice.

“Stephanie?!”  She tensed up and something flickered in her eyes, a cross between anger and pain.   _ Fuckin hell.  _ Defiantly you turned to face the voice and saw a few men walking towards you and Stephanie. 

“Leave me alone, I already said I wanted nothing to do with you.”  Steph’s voice was strong but her shoulders shook slightly and you only noticed because she was standing right next to you.  

“I just want to talk, who the hell is this.”  You stepped forward at the tone of his voice.

“I’m her friend, and we were busy so you will have to talk a different time.”  Frisk nodded from beside you.  Then one of the men saw Asriel.

“She’s with  _ them _ now!”  Their stances shifted and the sneer on who you assumed was Stephanie’s ex’s face grew darker.  

“You weren’t fucking joking were you, you slut.”  Something tugged at you again and you stepped forward.

“Steph take the kids and go find Toriel at the food stalls, go!”  She looked at you but Frisk tugged her hard backwards and she quickly followed, defiance in her face until the end.  You placed yourself between their retreat.

“Get the fucking flower!  Fuck, get out of my way you bitch!”  One of the men lurched forward and when you stepped in front of him he grabbed you.  You had left your knife in Undyne’s car.

“No one,” you grabbed him before he could toss you aside, “touches me-” you tugged him hard over your hip. “Without my say so.”  You panted at the effort, suddenly glad that you hadn’t been able to stop Die from putting your through your paces after you first threw her.  The man landed on the ground with a grunt and you moved yourself back in between them and your retreating friends.  You didn’t see the man at your feet pull out a knife in his anger but you felt something at your back, a presence and pressure that grew by the second and you felt a smile spread over your lips.  You knew exactly who was behind you.

 

The second Sans saw that human girl run towards him and Toriel with Frisk in tow he was already on his feet.  Why couldn’t you just stay out of trouble?!  Papyrus was returning in a heated conversation with Undyne but Sans was already running.  Papyrus and Undyne took one look at Frisk and then at Sans and ran after him.  Toriel, the kids, Stephanie, and Alphys followed quickly behind.  You hadn’t been that far from the stalls in the first place so they saw the end result of you tossing the man to the ground and before he had fully pulled his knife out a force of bristling anger stood behind you.  The tension literally crackling in the air as restrained magic chomped at the bit to be released on the humans that dare threaten the monsters’ friend.

 

You looked down at the man at your feet, noticing the knife and narrowed your eyes. 

“I suggest you leave, and I suggest  _ you _ leave Stephanie alone.”  The ex looked at you, the wicked grin on your face, at the angry scowl on Stephanie’s face, and at the monsters that towered behind the two of you.  He swallowed hard and nodded, turning and tugging his friend along with him.  The man on the ground all but forgotten, and in his anger he stood up with the knife in his hand.  He looked at you and suddenly caught the singular, glowing, red eyelight of the skeleton directly behind you, sharp teeth bared in a threatening smile, and he ran to catch up to his friends.  The moment he was gone the adrenaline in your system crashed and you started to laugh quietly in relief.  “You guys got here fast.”  You turned back to look at everyone and was met with a mix of angry and proud expressions.  Papyrus always looked kind of angry but he had an unusually raised brow that gave away his pleasure at the results of this event.  Undyne was pleased as punch that your training had paid off right before her eyes.  But Sans was angry and Toriel was too concerned to show her pride fully, settling on a small scowl.  

“Does this mean we have to go home mom?”  Asriel asked quietly looking up at his mother, breaking the tension and a few people chuckled.

“No dear, I think we will be fine for a little while more.” 

 

The next hour was spent being kept close to your friends, and by association so was Stephanie.  Those introductions went about as well as expected, perhaps better.  You introduced her as “the Ground” and after the recognition of the phrase you quickly explained what had happened and why you were with her.  There was a lot, and you mean a LOT of skeptic looks and suspicious behaviour around her but Frisk took to her immediately and that helped ease a little of the tension. You were impressed with how well she handled your friends and were increasingly glad you clocked her in the face all those months ago.  The only thing that didn’t get better was Sans’ attitude.  By the time everyone was already ready to leave he was still bristling and scowling as if you had done something terrible.  It hurt really and finally you’d had enough.  As you were walking back to the cars you told everyone you would see them later and you dragged Sans away from prying eyes.  Everyone looked at your irritated face and Sans’ equally irritated face and quickly continued on their way.

 

“Seriously Sans what is your problem!?”  You glared at him, chewing on your bottom lip angrily.  

“you really need to ask that?  you keep putting yourself in fucking danger, what if we hadn’t gotten there in time?! that fucker had a knife!”  His voice was low and barely controlled, hands clenched in anger.

“I had it under control, I knew you guys were on the way.”

“you think i don’t know that you seem to enjoy picking these fights?  i’ve seen your stars damned face, like its a fuckin’ thrill ride for you!”  He pointed at you accusingly and you grimaced, he was right.  Some part of you enjoyed it, that you were doing something for someone else but really you were doing it for yourself.  You were selfish.  You were terrified.  You wouldn’t lose your friends if you kept them safe, you wouldn’t ever need to see Sans in that state again, and maybe if you did enough you’d be ok again.  If you proved that you weren’t scared.  Who were you trying to prove it to though?  Yourself?  Or everyone else?  

“It’s not like that!  That’s not why I do it Sans.”  Your voice was steady but you didn’t feel that way, you were angry and upset, and ashamed.  

“seriously? you’re going to lie to me?  now, after all this?  i can see your soul ____!  i know!”  

“You really want to know?  You really want to open that door Sans? FINE!  I fight so you don’t have to, because you didn’t want to, because I have fucking nightmares Sans! NIGHTMARES!  You knew that, but did you know I wake up seeing your eyes, petrified in my bed, because of - because you wouldn’t fight!  Because I’m terrified and I don’t want to be anymore!  Because I can’t lose you, even with the nightmares Sans, I just can’t.”  You were shaking, you couldn’t tell if it was in rage or a myriad of other emotions surging through you..  Sans took a step back from you and his eyes widened.  “I fight, because it makes me feel better, because when I do I think to myself ‘I did something, today I did something’ and when I see you guys afterwards I feel so happy that the outcome wasn’t what it could have been.”  His sharp teeth clenched together and his eyes dimmed, pain flashing across his face.

“what do you expect us to do if you get yourself killed?  do you even care what we think? are you really that selfish?” his voice growled out.

“I KNOW THIS!  OF COURSE I CARE!” your voice dropped. “Of course I care.”  

“if you cared you would stop putting yourself at risk!”  In the darkness of the trees surrounding the fair and separating the parking area you saw his eyes narrow.

“Fucking BITE me Sans!”  Sans groaned loudly, his head rolled back as if he was fighting something and then when his head rolled back down to look at you he took two large steps forward and grabbed you, kissing you hard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a triple chapter update. I was going to post chapter 7 tomorrow for my birthday but then decided I probably wouldn't have time, and chapter 7 got cut into 2 pieces so the bonezone is on its own so people can skip it if they want, but I couldn't completely cut out some of the character's thoughts and stuff so if you do skip it then you might miss some stuff.


	8. *Keep Your Eyes On Me*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT (chapter is short cause its just the sin)

His eyelights looked into your eyes, and you stopped breathing.  His mouth was malleable and firm but your lips gave pleasantly under his kiss and finally you gave in.  You knew this was coming, you’d known for a while, fighting it, ignoring it, almost afraid of it the entire time.  You dug your fingers into the front of his jacket, clinging to him.  His hands gripped your back and wound through the hair at the back of your head.  He held you tight, as if he was afraid if he let you go you would leave. After a moment you felt his sharp teeth graze against your lips and you shivered again, he knew exactly why.  He slipped his tongue into your mouth and engaged your own, his magic tingled everywhere he touched you causing a soft moan to escape your lips.  He tasted faintly of mustard and something incredibly sweet and the tang of electricity that had already coursed through your body.   Sans felt his magic surge, he tilted your head back further and bit your bottom lip gently. Your grip on his jacket tightened.  His tongue moved with yours masterfully, teasing your tongue into his mouth only to scrape his teeth against it when you pulled him closer.  Eventually, when you were out of breath he left your lips in favor of your neck and began biting and kissing everywhere he could, relishing each gasp and noise you made.  In the span of a moment he had teleported the both of you back to your apartment, not once stopping the exploration of  your skin with his mouth.  So caught up in the hormonal rush he was causing for you to realize or react.

 

Breathing was getting hard and your body was so warm; but you didn’t want him to stop.  Everything he did, everywhere his mouth moved felt like fire and you’d never felt this good or this turned on before in your life.  He loved the way your skin gave slightly under his touch, the soft and smooth feel of it as he stroked you. He loved the warmth that radiated out from you, that grew hotter the longer he touched you and he wanted to touch more of you.  Sans decided you were wearing too many clothes so he pulled back from you, taking in your flushed face and the arousal in your eyes.  You wanted to complain that he had stopped but when his fingers slid down to the hem of your shirt you quickly helped him remove it, left standing there in your shorts and sports bra, he took one look at you and hummed his approval before divesting you of your bra as well. You’d never been completely happy with your body, but the way he looked at you, the hunger and approval in his eyes made you feel like you were the sexiest thing in the world and if you had asked him he would have told you as much. 

You were thankful of the wall so close to your back, because when he returned to exploring your body and his tongue moved to the sensitive bud of your breast your legs started to lose stability.  He swirled his tongue around your nipple, his teeth grazing it gently as he smiled at your breathy moans.  The area between your legs was uncomfortably warm at this point, you didn't even stop to think how this was supposed to work but you needed something, anything to relieve you, you needed to touch him.  Frustrated you slid his jacket off of his shoulders trying to remove it and without stopping his mouth he threw it to the floor next to your shirt.  You pulled him back up to your mouth and slid your hands under his sweater, feeling his ribs tenderly.  Sans reached down and cupped your ass so he could lift you up a little higher, not fully off of the ground but enough, using his pelvis to keep you pressed against the wall.  Each stroke of your hands and feathery touch of your fingers made him so much closer to losing control and he ground against you pushing you harder against the wall. Finally, you removed his sweater all together.  

 

Every nibble and kiss and stroke of his tongue and hands was filling you with so much desire that you slid a hand down towards the waistband of your shorts in between the two of you, needing to address the growing tension. Quickly he grabbed your hand and held it above your head. He pulled back from you, eyes narrowed and grin spread wickedly across his face.  The expression made your knees weaker, it just wasn't fair. 

“Sans,” you moaned and he chuckled low at your pleading tone.  

“that was fucking hot.”  His voice was low and husky and he was doing everything in his power not to take you right now, to lift you up from the floor and have his way with your soft, pliable form.  Especially after the way you had basically begged.  He could see you already had bruises forming from where he'd bitten and sucked on your skin and he loved it, so he set you back down on the floor.  Sans slid his fingertips into the waist of your shorts, releasing your arm, and causing you to draw in a breath, your eyes watching him intently.  He undid the button and zipper and slid them down around your legs, kneeling down to remove them the entire way.  Sans turned his attention to your smooth, trembling legs, dragging his tongue along the inside of your thigh, tantalizingly close to your underwear.  He grazed his teeth over your inner thigh and your hands went to the top of his head to stabilize yourself, your fingers pressed into him as hard they could, he groaned.  You felt his fingers stroke you through your underwear, his mouth still on your thigh.   

“Fuuu-mmm.”  Your head fell against the wall behind you, none of this was fair and you never wanted it to stop.

“you're soaked…” he mused, speaking was getting to be a little hard for him as the realization of how aroused you were set in.  Suddenly you felt your underwear being moved to the side, and two of his fingers plunged into you at the same time his teeth closed on the flesh of your inner thigh.  The amount of pleasure and pain you felt caused you to cry out.  You had no idea if it was a cry for the pain or pleasure, or both.  You knew he broke skin with his bite but when he swiped his tongue over the area the pain was replaced with tingling that only accentuated the sensation.  Sans gazed at the imprint of his teeth on your thigh, continuing to slide his fingers in and out of you, eliciting more moans from you and feeling his arousal grow stronger.  He had healed it just enough to not bleed and he secretly hoped it would leave a scar. 

 

“Bed, now!”  He looked up at your eyes shining with desire, a breathless expression of command on your face.  His soul pulsed and his smile grew, you didn’t need to tell him twice.  The next moment you found your back against the bed and he was removing your underwear.  There was no pomp and circumstance to what was happening between the both of you, just passion and lust.  A need to take and give.  He pulled your legs up over his shoulders and licked at the bundle of nerves in between your legs.  You fingers twisted in the sheets beneath you and his fingers dug into your legs.  Slowly and firmly his tongue worked you up, circling the outside of your folds and delving inside them causing you to squirm against his grip.  Oh how he wanted to tie you down, maybe next time he thought, he was enjoying watching you grab at the sheets. 

You knew you weren’t going to last long at this rate though and when you looked down towards him you saw his eyelights looking back at you, gauging your every reaction, that turned you on more than you thought it would.   His tongue slid inside you and your head fell back again, the coil was winding and it was all you could do not to buck your hips against his ministrations.  Sans could feel your pulse quickening and your breathing speed up, he knew what was coming so he pulled away chuckling at the whine that escaped you.  He wiped his mouth of the juices and saliva that had accumulated before he raised himself up and reached to remove his shorts.

 

You looked down as he untied his shorts and noticed the glow showing through the fabric, the obvious tenting of an erection and swallowed.  Guess that answers that question.  Curiosity kept your eyes on him as he removed his shorts and the red light that spilled from his glowing penis filled the room with a dim light.  You caught his eyes and in a second he moved on top of you and took your face in his hands,

“Keep your eyes on me,” he growled, when you nodded he kissed you, all thoughts of magic fleeing from your mind.  Carefully he positioned himself and rubbed the head of his dick against your opening causing you to moan softly around his mouth.  He was teasing you with it and it felt so good but it wasn’t enough.  Your fingers dug into the back of ribs trying to pull him closer, one of your hands slipped and wrapped around his spine. He moaned at the new sensation and complied, you were already so aroused that there was barely any resistance and he slid all the way in, the light all but extinguished.  The feeling of him inside you was incredible, he filled you in all the right ways and the tingling of his magically composed member was giving you sensations you had never felt before.  He left you breathless and moaning into his clavicle.  One of his hands kept trailing the skin of your side as the other supported his weight.  His thrusts were carefully controlled though his breathing was erratic.  

You kissed his clavicle, your tongue brushing against it and then your teeth closed around the edge of the bone gently. 

“fuck!”  he started to lose his control.  You bit harder, revelling in the ability to bite as hard you wanted without actually hurting him like a human.  He pulled your head back when you released the bone and kissed you hard before kissing down your neck again.  His hand left your side and moved to your breast, working your nipple with his fingers.  You slid one of your hands down between the two of you and began massaging yourself, bringing you those last few steps to climatic release.  His thrusts sped up and his forehead rested against your shoulder, you could hear a soft growl escape him as he found his release in yours and you felt a stronger tingling as something filled you.  Together you rode out your orgasms and were left breathless messes.  

You were covered in small bites and bruises but you felt amazing and when he lifted his head to look at you you chuckled and his smile returned.

Sans let his magic go and laid down next to you on the bed looking at you with an unreadable expression watching you chest rise and fall as you caught your breath and laughed softly.  Your head turned to look at him, you’re emotions were at war with themselves, with you.  You told him not to go anywhere while you left to clean up.  He stared after you, admiring your body and his handy work then he looked up at the ceiling, his fingers stroking the shallow teeth marks you had left on his clavicle.  He wondered if your teeth hurt after that.  The shower turned on and his expression softened, being happy, truly happy was an almost foreign feeling for him.  You had let him bite and mark you, you had even fought past your fear of his magic and he loved you for it, for your determination.  You.  He blinked at that and brought the palm of his hand up to his eyes, laughing to himself.  What had he done?  What was he going to do now?  Why on earth hadn't he done it sooner?  Then he sighed, pushing away his guilt.   You were his, he was going to keep it that way.

 

While you showered you felt all the marks on your skin, all the tender spots.   _ You had  _ sex _ with  _ Sans _. _  You rested your forehead against the cool tile of the shower as the hot water fell on your back. How did this happen and why weren’t you upset about this?  You remember the brief moment when the light of his magic spilled into the room, how he had distracted you from it.  Always distracting you so you didn’t have to be afraid.  A small smile spread over your slightly swollen lips.  Of course you liked him, you weren’t even sure when it started and you had never admitted it to yourself either.  You started washing your body and hissed when you reached the spot where he bit you on your thigh, it hurt the most of all the points on your body, and on closer inspection it was a barely closed wound: a perfect bite.  You realized he had put that there on purpose, and your core heated back up thinking about when he did it.  Gingerly you washed the area and then the rest of your body.  You wanted this to work you thought, but you were going to have to work harder on your problems.  You hadn’t been lying earlier when you said you didn’t want to lose him you just hadn’t realized how much that statement really meant.  Finishing your shower you dried off and wrapped a towel around your body, jumping when you saw Sans leaning against the wall outside of the bathroom, he had put his shorts back on.  His eyes roamed your body appreciatively and he smirked, seeing all of the little marks on your body.

“These hurt you know, especially this one.”  You lifted the towel to show him his teeth marks and his grin grew, eyes flashing.  

“honestly sweetheart, you still look good enough to eat.”  He pushed off of the wall and walked over to you, your breath caught in your throat, and then he walked past you into the bathroom.  After a moment you heard the shower turn on again so you walked back to your room, digging out something comfortable to wear and settling on your worn pyjama shorts that were a little short for polite company and a clean sports bra.  You put your towel on the back of a chair and picked up the discarded clothes from the living room and your bedroom floor, throwing yours in the laundry basket; putting Sans’ on the seat of the chair that held your towel.  The shower was still going at that point and you felt tired so you decided to lay down and wait for him to come back out, you would talk to him then.  

 

Sans found you asleep on the bed, holding a sheet in your hands.  You looked peaceful so he gently took the sheet from your hands and put it over you before laying down beside you.  He covered himself with the blanket to provide a cushion between the two of you and pulled your sleeping form close to him, feeling his soul pulse when you sleepily snuggled closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be it for at least a week or so as I try to get chapters written out. Don't worry I'm not done. I've got big angsty plans for the future.


	9. Toriel's Going To Kill You

“Sans stop!  Please!”

“get away!”  Red light filled the air around you and you looked at his face filled with pure anger.

“Sans!” You opened your eyes to complete darkness, shaking.  It had been a long time since you’d had a nightmare, since the nightmares had shown you more than Sans’ eyes and magic, since you’d heard him.

“____.”  You froze, afraid to look over at the voice coming from your left.  “____, look at me.”  Reluctantly you turned your head towards Sans but only darkness greeted you, you searched for his eyelights and realized he had turned them off.  He reached over and touched your face.  Slowly you made out his features with the dim streetlight filtering through your curtains.

“i am never going to hurt you, ____.”  His voice almost sounded desperate.  You took a deep breath and nodded your understanding, you knew this.  You asked to see his eyes, and after hesitating his eyelights brightened back to normal slowly and you stared.  There was no smile on his face, just concern and shame.  

“I know Sans.”  You closed your eyes and put your hand over his where it rested on your cheek.  “I’ll be ok.  We’ll be ok.” You pulled his hand down to your lips, your voice a whisper. “We, Sans, we will be ok.”  In moments you were asleep again.  How on earth you could awaken in fear because of him and then fall asleep so comforted by him he didn’t know.  Sans couldn’t fall back asleep as easy as you did and so he just curled around you and listened to your breathing.  A sickening sense of shame and guilt and possessiveness settling over him.  

 

In the morning you woke up trapped in Sans’ arms, he was deep asleep and the moment you tried to get up his arms tightened around you.  Ignoring your bladder you gave a soft sigh and turned slightly so you could look at him.  He had your head tucked under his chin so all you could see was his clavicle and the grooves left there from the night before.  A smile tugged at your lips, it was only fair you thought.  You kissed the area you’d bitten before and heard his breathing hitch.  

“Faker.”  You laughed quietly and when you tried to pull back this time he let you.  A wide toothy smile played over his face.  “Toriel’s going to kill you.”  His smile disappeared and his eyelights shrunk to pinpoints, sweat started to form on his forehead.  You laughed harder and then froze launching yourself out of the bed and his arms, running for the bathroom.  When you looked at yourself in the mirror you realized that your skin was a mottled painting of love bites and you felt slightly annoyed, if this was going to be the norm then you were never going to be able to wear your summer clothing again.  When you were done you rushed back to the bedroom afraid Sans was going to be gone, but he wasn’t, he was just sitting up against the wall waiting.   He looked at you with such a confused expression at the relieved, stupid grin on your face.  For a moment you stood there just looking at him from the doorway, unsure of what you were supposed to do now.  You didn’t have work today but you’d also never just done something like that before, skip all conventional steps.  Nor were you entirely sure how to be a couple with Sans, if that was what this was.  Your relationship with him prior to last night hadn't really been a touchy feely one.  Sans saw your brow furrow and he started to laugh.  

You were just as confused as he was he realized and boy if that didn’t give him some relief.  You tilted your head a bit and then walked over to the bed, he pulled your pillow up against his side and when you sat down he pulled you against him, grinning at the little yelp that escaped you.  For a moment you both sat grinning, his fingers touching the bare skin on your side and arms and your fingers stroking the fronts of his ribs.  There was so much to say and nothing to say at the same time.  

 

Sans was happy, that was true, but deep in his chest he was having a panic attack.  He had no idea what he was doing, he’d never once even thought of being in a relationship, monster or human.  He hadn’t even intended to act on his feelings and he certainly didn’t expect your eager response to his actions.  You weren’t mad at him, you just smiled at him, you kept smiling at him.  His arms tightened around you subconsciously, he didn’t want you to stop smiling at him; it made him feel like he wasn’t worthless.  It made him feel like what had happened and was happening, was exactly what was supposed to be.  Stars he didn’t know how to be a, well an anything for you boyfriend, lover, anything.  This was all uncharted territory, something he had tried oh so very hard to not think of ever since that other version of you in the other world started dating that other version of himself.  Of course he’d been a bit jealous then but also incredibly uncomfortable at the idea; yet here he was.  Sure he’d entertained thoughts of fucking you, especially when you teased him like you did but that was just lust plain and simple.  Sans understood lust.  What he’d started to feel, was feeling, couldn’t stop feeling, scared the ever loving shit out of him but he didn’t want to stop.  If Frisk ever Reset again he didn't know if he could ever forgive the kid.

“Sans?”  He snapped out of his own thoughts and looked down at your upturned face and you saw his conflicted gaze.  “Is this, I mean,” you sighed, you’d been stuck in your own confused thoughts.  “What do you want from this?”  What did he want from you was what you wanted to ask.  He hadn’t just left so that had to mean something, right?  Was he willing to stay with you or would this just crumble around you like a soft sand castle.  Did you just set yourself up to have your heart ripped into little pieces?  You knew from experience and past conversations that he wasn’t really a relationship kind of person so where did you go from here?

 

Sans hesitated before answering, seeing the uncertainty flicker through your eyes and your words from the night before echoed in his head. ‘Because I can’t lose you.’  His soul pulsed, he was a fool.

 

“you, just you, sweetheart.  all of you...always.”  He watched relief flood your face, smoothing the worry lines from it and his soul pulsed again, nothing about what you did to him was fair, and he wasn't going to survive another Reset after this.  

 

You almost fell asleep like that but a loud grumble from your stomach forced you out bed.  Then you realized your phone was dead.  The moment it had enough juice to turn on you were greeted with a massive amount of missed messages and calls.  Were you ok?  Where did you go? Where was that lazy bag of bones?  That one was from Papyrus.  Even Steph had messaged you thanking you for helping her at the fair.  You shot Sans a look and he dug out his own dead phone and panicked.  Papyrus was going to kill him.  He started sweating, afraid to move from the bed when you just sighed and made a phone call.  His eyes bored into.

“Hey Papyrus, yea no my phone died sorry.  Yea he's here, no he crashed here last night. His phone is also dead, I forgot to give him a charger.  No, no I was being a bad influence on him it's my fault.  I know, no! You enjoyed yourself I don't have to make him clean his room.  Oh come on it's the weekend Paps………………………..yea I can get behind that. Come meet us for lunch, you can wag your finger at him then.  Don't yell at me, ok fine not Grillby’s….where then?  Sure dude, bring Undyne she has my shit in her car still. Fine, fine we will see you in a bit.”  Sans stared at you during the entire conversation, no idea what his brother had been saying.  You grinned back at him and his panic eased.

“You're in so much trouble dude.”  His panic returned.

“what the fuck did you do?”

“Well I covered your ass but apparently you left a bunch of trash around the house and Paps is pissed.  So…” you shrugged, Papyrus had wanted to make him work overtime for slacking so much but you'd managed to talk him down to just cleaning the house.  You weren't going to tell Sans that, he'd find out on his own.  “Oh don't worry, it's not as bad as you think but umm how do you want to explain this?”  you gestured to the marks on your neck and shoulder.  “It’s too hot for a scarf and uh, it's too hot for a lot of stuff to be honest.”  He started to panic more. “Sans?  Sans!” you climbed back on the bed, kneeling in front of him.  “Sans, we’re going to be ok.” He looked in your eyes and took a deep breath.  He could just heal you, he should probably heal you.  Sans reached a hand over to your neck and gently let his magic mend the tissue he'd damaged.  You closed your eyes resolutely while he worked, holding your breath as the air filled the red of his magic.  When his hand moved to your thigh you hissed in pain but shoved it away.  “N-not that one.”  you blushed and in the next moment he had you on his lap kissing you fiercely.

 

You were almost late to lunch: he'd had to heal a whole new set of love bites before you left the apartment but he didn't regret it. Healing them meant he could make more and you handled his magic during those moments really well. The fact you wanted his mark on you had banished all of his panic up until you both arrived at lunch.  You didn't hold hands but he kept you close to him, a sense of need overcoming his better judgement.  You on the other hand were still grinning like a fool and your soul was burning brighter than normal.

The moment Undyne walked up she took one look at you and smirked.

“Two for two, hell yea!”  you had no idea what she meant.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Papyrus looked at you and Sans for a moment and then blinked, looked at Undyne with a question at his teeth and then turned back and looked again.  Any monster that paid attention could see what he saw, the odd pulsing your two souls were doing as if one would pulse and the other would answer.  It was almost subtle.  It had happened a few times before in the past he’d noticed, especially at the fair, but this... this was a constant call and answer.  The exact same thing he saw from Alphys and Undyne.  He wasn’t naive he’d just hoped he wasn’t seeing what he thought he had been seeing. The more important thing was that his brother was so thick skulled he didn’t even know what his soul was doing when he was with you, or what it meant.  Papyrus drug his hand over his face in exhaustion and then jerked forward when Undyne slapped him on the back.  Of course Undyne and Alphys had warned him, they’d seen it on that other, softer version of his brother from that other world when he was with that other version of you.  

He had to admit that you had a good effect on his brother, even if you did often stoop to his level of maturity.  He knew Sans had things that bothered him, he may always call his brother lazy and fight with him, sometimes physically, but honestly he didn’t know how to help him and he didn’t even know what was wrong.  Sans always played it off like he really was just lazy and ungrateful so Papyrus indulged him, but ever since you had arrived there’d been a change.  Papyrus might never thank you for it but he was glad that his brother was healing from whatever had broken him. At least on the surface Papyrus didn’t need to ride his ass so hard, the old way of life had stayed in the Underground.  It was no longer kill or be killed for monsters so when he saw Sans look at him with panic and then glance at you and start sweating he just sighed.  DON’T FUCK THIS UP BROTHER, he thought and then he turned away and went into the diner.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

After lunch you found yourself trying to calmly and then not so calmly to get Sans to just go back and clean his apartment before Papyrus decided to force him to do it.  In the middle of trying to convince him you somehow found yourself agreeing to make dinner for everyone.  How on earth that happened you had no fucking clue but if it worked it worked.  It was that evening you came to a disheartening realization about you and Sans.  Giddy with feelings you wanted to spend the evening with his arms around you, holding hands, touching in some way, but Sans was pretty stand offish to say the least.  You had an overwhelming need for some form of physical contact and it wasn’t that he didn’t like to touch you and hold you, he made that perfectly clear any moment you were alone, but the second someone almost caught the two of you being in anyway intimate he would jerk back like he had been burned.  You weren’t going to force him if he was uncomfortable in front of other people, but the more he did it the more it stung you.  You felt like something inside you was wilting after each embarrassed rejection and you didn’t understand what you were feeling, but all of the monsters that saw you knew immediately what was happening.  Your soul was suffering a tiny blow each time, and even Sans started to notice it after a while; feeling like crap because of it.  After the fifth time he found himself being hoisted from the couch by his brother and dragged outside. You didn’t know what happened, or what was said but when he came back inside he pulled his hood over his face and pulled you against his side, this time keeping his arm wrapped around your waist.  You could see bits of red glow peeking out through the fur of his hood.  Sans stayed at home that night, both because he needed clean clothes and because Papyrus told him he wasn’t allowed to leave the house again until he finished cleaning it.

 

The next day, Die and Alphys tried to coerce you into spending time with them but you dodged their invitations knowing full well what they really wanted to talk to you about.  Finally unable to come up with any good excuses you asked Napstablook if you could come over to avoid being dragged out of your apartment by the enthusiastic girlfriends.  Your description caused him to take longer than normal to answer and then, in an almost comical response he said *you are welcome to hide from those crazies at my place any time, i don’t blame you*.  So you told the girls you had plans and would, regrettably, need to put their interrogations on hold.  

 

Blook didn’t ask why you were hiding out at his place, but he noticed something odd about your soul.  Before he could question it any further you distracted him with questions on how his music was doing, you hadn’t really spoken to him in a while and you’re usual nightmare awakenings hadn’t been a thing besides last night, but Sans had been there for that one.  Napstablook drifted over to his computer and described some new pieces he was working on.  Some people had actually asked if they could use some of his music in their own projects, credited of course, and you thought that was pretty big news.

“Dude! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Eh, I mean I guess it’s good I hadn’t decided what to say to them yet.”

“Well it is your choice after all, but it is a good way to spread your work around.  Plus I mean if someone liked your work enough to want to ask you for permission, that means they respect you as an artist.  Big stuff right there I think.”  He mulled over your words for a minute and his frown softened.  

“I’ll think about it.”

 

A  couple hours passed where you just laid on the couch reading a book you'd had on your desk for months.  When you started getting restless on the couch you dog eared the book and sat up.  “Hey Blook, can I ask you a question?”  he turned to look at you, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Depends as long as it's not about my fa-”

“About your family?”  you stared at each other for a moment: you the picture of innocence and he the picture of disdain.  You fiddled with the flap of the book cover smiling gently and finally, after what felt like forever, he sighed.  He knew you weren't going to drop it and honestly he was amazed you'd waited so long to bring it up in the first place.  Still, that didn't mean he had to like it.  You waited as he grumbled, looking at his computer screen.

“Fine.”  You smiled, you didn't expect him to agree, not really.

“Ok, well what happened?  I mean it's pretty clear you hate your cousin…” you left the question hanging in the air and waited.

“Because he's weak! He's worthless! He. Left. Me.”  Napstablook’s words dripped with anger and venom and you were almost glad you couldn't see his face.  But there it was, the crux of the problem.  Mettaton had been right, this seemed to have started when he left to work with Alphys.  But it just seemed...something seemed wrong.  You remembered the way your robotic friend had spoken, the unspoken piece of the puzzle.  “He always wanted to do more, be more than he was but when he got it not only did he just abandon me breaking his promise, he acted like it was some great burden.  Disgusting.”  You sat silently chewing over his words.

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yea, ok. I mean I get it sorta.  From your point of view,” you gestured at Blook who had turned back to look at you incredulously.  “he's worthless, he doesn't know how to stick with or appreciate either what is good or with what he's got going for him.”  He didn't deny what you said.  “You’re mad at him, and honestly I can't blame you, he just keeps coming back and trying to worm his way into your life. It's not like you asked him to, not like you even want to see him.” again he stayed silent, you were more or less hitting the nail on the head.  “Did he ever tell you why he couldn't leave and go back to you?”  Now that startled him.  Napstablook glowered at you, his eyes unusually bright, almost as if he was irritated.

“Why should I care what he has to say, I don't want anything to do with him.” You drummed your fingers against your leg.

“True, but let me ask you this. Have you ever thought that if you just talked to him, I'm not saying you need to forgive him or any shit like that, I mean just talk.  All the cards down and hear what he has to say, even the bit he is afraid to talk about,” now Napstablook looked confused. “and then you tell him exactly, without yelling or trying to hurt each other, your side of things. Like seriously, a single soul to soul tell all kind of talk and then if you still don't want anything to do with him at least then he'd be more likely to leave you alone.”  

No, that wasn't something Napstablook had done, or wanted to do, or honestly even thought of.  He just wanted Mettaton out of his life, he didn't want to listen to him moan about his life choices.  But the way you put it, the way you said Mettaton was afraid to say something. Napstablook narrowed his eyes, you'd been speaking to his cousin.  Of course you just looked at him innocently and full of hope despite his worsening mood.  You had a point, he hated to admit it but it was a good argument.  All he had to do was listen to his cousin one last time, actually listen and then he could be free if him. Finally and completely.  He hated that your idea would probably work.  

“Yea ok, maybe.”

“Oh good! Let me know how it goes then won't you!”  

 

The rest of the afternoon passed in moderate silence, the fact Blook hadn't kicked you out after your conversation boded well you thought.  After you'd gotten too restless and started to feel hungry you decided to head home.  You'd spent more time at Napstablook’s house than you'd expected to and the sun was already over halfway done with its downward descent but at least that meant it wasn't as hot so you enjoyed the ride home.  

 

~~~

 

If you thought about it, really thought about it you would have laughed at your life in its current state.  Not in a bad way but more in a you would never have expected to end up where you were.  And on top of that you probably wouldn't have recognized yourself a year ago either.  You smiled more than you used to, laughed more than you used to.  Waking up to go to work didn't leave you more exhausted than when you went to bed the night before.  It wasn't like you particularly relished being alone before you met your friends but when your friends from college left there just hadn't been anyone around you that you connected with.  Humans not exactly being the best solitary creatures you also hadn't even realized how much it wore on you.  

You lived in a continuous state of exhaustion and salt. Most of the day spent at work then you would sit at home on your computer with the tv running for background noise.  Not motivated enough to pick up any of your books, to play your backlog of games, to even try keeping up with your hobbies.  Some days you picked something up just to try to change things up and if you were lucky you would have a few days of addicted fascination with the activity until you found yourself back in your rut.  Then you'd started talking to monsters and going to Grillby’s and going to work hadn't been that bad anymore, not that that helped you when you got home from work but it was something.  

 

Fate sure was a funny thing, one single night was all it took.  One night where you hadn't wanted to just go home right away to the monotony that awaited you.  One night when you'd decided to go to Grillby's for a few hours and then enjoy a night time ride.  It was a perfect night, you'd smiled more that evening than most and it was so peaceful outside so you’d felt like riding through the park if only to hold onto that feeling for a little longer.  But then you saw Sans and those humans.  Both parties too drunk and too angry for coherent decisions.  You'd seen the skeleton make a decision to himself, and he just stopped and waited for the humans with an amused, defeated, almost relieved look on his face.  No matter how much you might have hated where your life was at the moment you couldn't just let this happen.

Of course you knew how that turned out.  One simple decision, one decision to make a change, to make an attempt.  One night that left you with nightmares and fear.  One night that made you so angry you didn't even realize that something had changed.  Not until the day you talked to Blue.  That even though part of you was afraid of Sans, you'd stubbornly followed Blue to the park.  A second decision that had probably been your first step to taking back control of your life.  Two days, two decisions, and a whole bunch of stubbornness and anger.  Two days when the idea of going home to the over encompassing exhaustion that awaited you caused a change in your life.  Friends, family, laughter, love, excitement, happiness, drive. So many things you didn't think would be in your life about a year ago.  Shit, if you told yourself that the skeleton that had given you nightmares would be your… boyfriend? Is that what he was?  You'd probably have punched yourself for being delusional.  

 

So you did laugh, as your neared your apartment.  These thoughts, the utter irony of your life.  It made you laugh.  You giggled a little and then as you went inside you were almost crying from laughing.  Or were you just crying?  You leaned against a wall, your emotions playing with you. Laughter and tears, joy and fear and relief and sadness all at once.  You heard the front door open and you turned around, your head tilted to lean against the wall as you shook with laughter and tears.  Was this the life you wanted? Yes.  Could you ever go back to how things were before? No, no you couldn't.  Not now, not after everything that you'd experienced. Not now that you actually started to like who you were.  Not after you'd met these people, these wonderful, rough, amazing, loving people.  Not after Sans.

Sans looked at you with such a confused and concerned expression on his face and walked over to you. “are you ok?”  You lifted your head from the wall, tears still in your eyes and laughter just under the surface.  When he got close enough you put your hands on either side of his face and smiled at him, raw emotion all over your face.

“I’m perfect.”  You pulled his face down to yours and kissed him gently.  When you pulled away you turned and went to the kitchen, rubbing your face of the tears.  Sans just stood rooted to the spot, his face as red as his eyes.  He was completely confused at what he just walked in on but the amount of love he’d seen on your face when you smiled at him had his soul pulsing harder than ever.  He looked at you digging in the fridge and rubbed the back of his skull lost in thought.

“Did you actually finish cleaning or am I going to be hearing from Papyrus in a few minutes?”  No matter what weird emotional rollercoaster you had just been on you still managed to maintain your stubborn ability to ask the right questions.  

“um...well...”  His eyelights shrunk when your phone started to ring as if on cue.  You straightened up from the fridge and raised an eyebrow at him.  Your eyes were still a little puffy but you were smiling with feigned exasperation.  

“Alright bonehead, I’ll give you a hand but only if you order pizza.”  He smiled back in return, he could live with that.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay fluff. I love me some red fluff. 
> 
> Ok so headcanon time, I love a rough Red, read a lot if good dickish Red fics. But I also like the idea that underneath it all he's still sweet and he's still just Sans.
> 
> Also I like the idea of Edge and Red having a more familial relationship and that Edge really does care about his brother. 
> 
> If you have questions on my other headcanons for the world in this fic feel free to ask.


	10. I'm An Asshole, Not Stupid

Over the next month there were few nights that you spent alone.  Even on nights when you declined hanging out with your friends and you finally crawled into bed Sans always managed to appear just in time to pull you against him, not that you would ever complain because when he was with you if you had a nightmare you found that returning to sleep was not as hard as it used to be.  It wasn’t for a few weeks until you were reminded that you weren’t the only one that had trouble sleeping through the night some days.

 

Sans had already been hiding at your apartment when you’d gotten home from work and despite his obviously sour mood he immediately pulled you into his arms and kissed you desperately, his hands clutching you to him as if to reassure himself that you were still there.  When he had released you you were flushed and confused, he had looked so upset and his eyes were nearly dark but now there seemed to be a little more life to him.  You tilted your head a little, pressing your cheek into his hand that still cupped your face.

“What’s wrong Sans?”

“what? not happy t’see me, sweetheart?”  You rolled your eyes at him and grabbed his hand as he pulled it away, effectively holding him in place.

“You _know_ that’s not what I meant.”  His mood was still pretty dark and you could tell he was irritated enough from whatever had happened that he was two questions away from snapping.  “Fine.”  And with that you dropped his hand and moved past him further into the apartment, taking care to trail you hand against his arm gently to turn him around so he would know you weren’t mad at him.  You cared but you weren’t petty, he would tell you when he was ready or you’d ask again when he was calmer.  The tv was already on you saw, some crappy scifi movie that apparently had a lot of death in it.  The Wilhelm Scream sounded off making you smile.  Every time you heard it in a different film or show, especially in a big budget film you couldn’t help laughing.  You slung your bag against the side of the couch as you walked over to your consoles and deliberated on which game to play, you had a couple you needed to finish and one you’d been wanting to replay, but didn’t want to exclude Sans.

“Y’wanna play anything?”

“no.”  Well that made it easier on you then and you picked up your playstation controller and flopped onto the couch.  Sans made his way to sit beside you, grumpy as he was he still wanted to be near you.

“Would you mind handing me the remote please?”  When he didn’t respond you looked at him until he grabbed it and slapped it into your hand.  “Oh why thank you kind, sir.”  While the game booted up Sans shuffled his position until he was able to put his head in your lap and watch the screen.  Sighing you stroked his skull while the game booted up.

“haven’t you beat this game like a hundred times?”

“On the old system, I wanted to see how much they nerfed it on the new one.”  You ticked the settings down to the hardest mode.  

“feeling cocky aren’t ‘cha?”

“Lemme put it this way _bonehead_ , last I played this game was years, and I mean years ago so this is like a nostalgia trip.  This game series got me through a lot of shit so judge all you want.  Y’want me to skip the cutscenes for ya?”  You felt more than heard him grumble and you jostled your legs so he would look up at you.  “Well?”

“do whatever you want.”

“That’s not what I asked jackass.”  You twitched your left leg again and he narrowed his eye sockets at you.

“no, it’s fine.”  You let the opening musical cut scene play through, it was still beautiful and you still loved the music.  “isn’t this the second one?”

“Yea, I’ve already replayed the first but it gives you a pretty decent summary during the tutorial world..that long….pain in my ass...tutorial.”  You groaned and he chuckled, wrapping his fingers around your leg in front of his face and squeezing gently.  

 A few hours later and you were sucked back into the game and keeping up a running commentary on the changes they had made to it.  Commentary being a loose term as your praise was often peppered with complaints and cursing as you realized that while the bosses had been nerfed the regular monsters in game had not, quite the opposite.  After you died for the fifth time in a row just trying to get to the next area of the map you gave up on fighting and ran through the area.  You died again one second from the loading screen and swore loudly.  Sans’ mood had improved greatly the longer you played and while he didn’t show any particular interest in the game your enthusiasm was more than enough make him want to watch you play.  Now, he was laughing manically at your untimely in game demise.   You turned your irritated attention to him and pushed him off of your lap onto the floor.  His glare at your actions faltered at the joyful laugh that had you shaking on the couch.  Rather than attempting it again you decided to just turn it off and figure out dinner.

 

 

You woke up late in the night, unsure of what exactly had awoken you and heard Sans mumbling in his sleep.  You rubbed your face; someone must have been parked outside because the light behind your eyelids was red.  Then you felt Sans shaking beside you and your eyes flew open, fear gripping your heart.  Your room was filled with his magic, smoky red light pulsing out of the monster beside you.  You felt your heart stop and fought to keep yourself from hyperventilating; he was having a nightmare.  A much more violent nightmare than any of yours ever were.  

“Sans?”  Your voice was shaking and when you’d sat up and reached for him. Your hands were shaking as well.  “Sans…wake up…please.”  You were crying and scared but something inside of you, something you couldn’t put your finger on was keeping you grounded enough to not be completely overwhelmed by this waking nightmare.  

 

The moment your hand touched his shoulder his eyes flew open, one eye socket was dark as sin and the other blazing with concentrated magic.  A sob choked out of your throat but you refused to move away from him.  Not this time.  It only took a second for him to realize where he was and only a second more before all of his magic was extinguished and he’d pulled you into his arms.  Tears continued to fall down your cheeks while he panicked, apologizing over and over again.  You fought to keep the tears inside and shook from the effort.  That strange feeling in your chest didn’t go away, the odd almost comforting feeling that everything was going to be ok if you just held on.  Desperately you clung to it as you clung to Sans, you needed to be ok.  

 

By the time you had calmed down there was a large wet spot on his shirt, not that he seemed to mind.  He looked nearly as afraid as you had felt; broken apologies still tumbling out of his mouth.  Your hands were clammy when you sat back from him and you had the start of a headache forming.

“Sans...I’m ok.”  He didn’t seem to believe you but he stopped apologizing.  Gently you got him to lay back down and you curled against him, using the blanket to provide a pillow so you could put your head on his shoulder.  You laid like that until you were able to close your eyes without seeing the light anymore.  He was still tense beside you which told you that he was still awake.

“You need to talk to me...tell me what’s wrong.”  He started to protest and then sighed heavily, his arms tightening around you.  After a few moments passed he started talking.  His voice was low and while he spoke he went through a myriad of emotions.  At some points he was angry, those moments he would speak into your hair as if he was trying to keep his anger in check.  Other points he sounded sad and sometimes even afraid and those were the moments when his embrace would tighten and his voice would get quiet.  He told you about Frisk and their ability to Reset time, not all of time but up to the point when they fell into the Underground.  The fact that Sans could remember every repetition the timeline made was apparent, and you started to turn cold despite the warm skeleton and the blankets wrapped around you.  

Frisk had fallen and died, each time they died time would reset at different points.  Sans watched then make their way through the Underground without killing anyone and then it reset and then they killed some monsters and then it would reset again.  He stopped talking for a moment. While he talked about Frisk’s runs of the Underground he wouldn’t let you turn around to look at him, his embrace becoming almost desperate.  He told you about the times Frisk had gone through and killed everyone, how he had watched Papyrus die over, and over, and over again.  How he had killed Frisk over, and over, and over again and then died himself.  So many times they had made it to the surface, the barrier broken and then it would just all be gone.  All over again and the more it had happened the worse he got.  You started to understand now, but you were also starting to shake.  If Frisk had this kind of power, what was stopping them taking everything away?  What was stopping them from resetting the world?  According to Sans this last time he had had a serious talk with the kid and they had promised not to reset anymore, they had professed to being done with it all, professed to feeling ashamed for their actions.  Frisk was such a sweet kid and you couldn’t imagine them doing something so terrible as to rip everything away like Sans said they had, but then again you already knew that multiple universes were a thing, so was it really so far fetched?

It made sense now, Sans’ nightmares.  The fear and anger, you wondered if he had been in a bad mood because he’d had a nightmare last night.  And when you asked he confirmed your suspicions.  You yourself would often find yourself grumpy after one of your nightmares, but to have nightmares of losing everything, of losing your own family or the life you’d built for yourself.  Nightmares based on actual memories.  Death and resets; trapped back in the Underground. You started to shake again, you didn’t realize you were holding in tears until Sans asked you what was wrong.

“What if I lose you?  I could lose you at any moment and I wouldn’t even know.  I could lose everyone.  I would be...I could….I can’t go back to how I was before.  I can’t...I would forget.  I don’t want to forget.  Nothing, not one moment or emotion.  I don’t want-”  You felt yourself being turned over in his arms.  “You would be back there, alone, the only one to remember and I...I wouldn’t...I wouldn’t know.   Sans, I can’t -”  Your heart was beating erratically, you were starting to have a panic attack.  

“sweetheart, shhh….shhhh.  breathe, please just breathe.”  His eyelights were small and he was frowning, you knew he was regretting telling you.  You took a deep breath, then another, staring at him the entire time.  Your panic and the information he had given you completely erasing your earlier fright.

“Sans, promise me, you will find me.”

“sweethea-”

“Promise me!  Find me, don’t let me...I need you Sans...I need everyone.  I can’t go back to how I was before.”  You kept repeating pieces of sentences, begging him while he held you close and finally, “i promise.”  You sucked in a breath, expecting to feel better at his words but the idea that everything you loved could be torn from you and your memories at the drop of a hat terrified you, then it made you angry.  You slowly stopped shaking, a hot fire burning under your chest.  You let Sans hold you for a few more minutes hoping you would be able to reclaim sleep but from waking up to your room bathed in magic to this near emotional breakdown you were more awake than ever and incredibly mentally exhausted.  

“Sans?”

“hmm?”

“How often do you have nightmares?”

“more than i’d like.”

“Is it easier?  When you aren’t alone?”  he was quiet for a moment.

“i’d be lying if i said it wasn’t, but i don’t want ya to have to deal with the fallout.  it’s bad enough that you have your own i shouldn’t -”

“That isn’t what I asked.  I want to help Sans, even if it just means I’m there when you need me...I can handle everything else with you I just-I don’t want you to be alone in this anymore.”  Silence surrounded you both and you lifted your head from his chest to look at him.

“it’s not fair on you, ____, let me finish,” you had opened your mouth to retaliate. “it’s not fair on you that i need you as much as i do.”  You felt heat rush to your cheeks, he’d never made an admission like that before.  You knew he cared about you, that he wanted to be with you, but you hadn’t really thought that he would need you too and maybe even as much if not more after what he had been through.  Your chest felt funny, like something was filling up and buzzing.  His eyes drifted down for a moment and he squinted briefly, his frown turning into a soft smile before returning to your face.  What was he looking at?  

You wanted to kiss him, you wanted to never let him go, you wanted to-

“Bite me.”

“what?”

“Bite me, _bonehead_.”  His eyes flashed with sudden understanding and within a moment he was on top of you mouth locked with yours.  When he broke the kiss you were flushed and he moved his mouth to your shoulder.  The moment his teeth pressed into your flesh, hard but not hard enough to break skin, you released a small moan.  A feeling of broken tension rushed through you.  You needed him and he needed you, and you were both afraid of losing the other for a number of reasons, some that had been brought to light already and some that hadn’t.  Something inside of you was drawn to Sans, something you had already tried and failed to ignore and it was time you just accepted that there was a need.  A need and a want.  You needed this moment, this connection with him where your trust was laid out before him and he didn’t hide himself from you.

 

 

After that night you made an effort to have Sans beside you when you slept, even if that meant staying at his place which you were almost skittish to the idea of due to both his brother and the state of Sans’ room.  But the first time you stayed there you noticed he’d made an effort to make his room livable, and by livable he had somehow eradicated the smell and cleaned his bed sheets and honestly you were impressed by the self sustaining trash tornado.  Not to mention that first night ended up being very heated.  Something about the idea of needing to be quiet for risk of waking Papyrus up made the both of you a lot more rough, and boy if he didn’t love teasing you until had to bite him to keep from crying out.

 Despite the sleeping arrangements neither of your nightmares were completely banished, and even if waking up to one of his had you shaking from fear you both found solace in the other.  If Papyrus had a problem with Sans being gone most every night he didn’t say it, to you at least.

Besides the new permanent sleeping arrangements from that night came something else.  The phrase ‘bite me’, originally spoken in jest or a teasing manner quickly became the key to many passionate moments.  If at any point you leaned into Sans and told him to bite you, even if you were just trying to tease him he would grab you and if you weren’t already at home he would take you there and do exactly what you asked.  You wondered if your friends would start to realize what was going on and almost dreaded that conversation.  Key word almost.  

The one thing you were grateful for and probably took a little for granted was the fact that despite all of his dirty and lewd behaviors and jokes, and despite his intensity as a lover he never forced you to do anything you didn’t want.  Sure he would needle a little bit, but if at any moment you seemed unsure, unhappy, or unwilling he was quick to drop it.  You’d been with guys before who weren’t nearly as receptive and it was a relief.  Not that there were a lot of times when this was a problem anyway.

On top of this the amount of dirty jokes and teasing behavior between the two of you didn’t drop, and if anything it got worse.  Now that Sans had first hand knowledge of how to make you flustered, from sneaking up behind you to whisper in your ear with a voice rough with concealed desire, to making jokes that hinted at intimate things he knew from your times alone, to gently touching the healing bite mark on your thigh; he had more fodder than ever.  But by stepping up his game he gave you unspoken permission to do the same.  Dragging your fingernails against the vertebrae of his neck, increasing the lewdness of your jokes, and even casually showing affection when in public; something he still wasn’t entirely comfortable with so when you did it in a playful manner he would sometimes freeze up.  The one time he slipped up teasing you was when he grabbed your ass, startling you while you were all hanging out at Undyne’s.  You yelped and whirled on him with mock anger in your eyes and for a split second a confused almost sad look flitted across his face.  Before you could ask him about it Undyne distracted you with her loud, mocking laughter.

“Already forgot what happened last time, punk?”  Sans fumbled with his words, his face heating up and he looked at Undyne imploringly.  

“What do you mean? He hasn’t done this before.”  You were more confused now but Undyne just waved Sans off and yelled for Alphys to hook something up to the tv.  Sans tried to get her to stop but even his brother was amused enough to allow the show to continue so Sans just stood there with a look of growing horror.  In a few moments Alphys had a video on the screen, it looked like it had been recorded from her glasses and it looked like she was looking at you.  

That wasn’t you though, the woman on screen looked like you but apart from the slight differences you also had no memory of this place and when the camera moved you saw the Papyrus from the other world.  An ache built in your chest, you really did miss him and your friends from the other world.  Given the whirlwind of your life as of late you hadn’t really thought of them much but now you just felt really sad.  The camera moved back to see that other you lean over the couch to retrieve the fallen remote, her blanket sliding up her back as she reached.  You’d never seen her before and it felt so weird to see yourself and yet not yourself.  But then your eyes snapped to the mischievous grin on Sans’ face and you realized exactly what was about to happen.  

In the video he reached over and almost laughing grabbed her ass as it was presented to him.  What you didn’t expect was the pure rage that overtook her feature and in the blink of an eye yanked herself back onto the couch and spun to slap him as hard she could.  As her hand made contact Sans switched back out with Blue who took the rest of the force of the slap.  The video cut out as that other you sat fretting and ashamedly trying to make sure he was ok.  You turned your head  slowly to look at San who had covered his face with his hands, a very obvious blush on his cheekbones.  

“So you were feeling her up long before me, huh?”  

“it- it wasn’t like that.”

“I like her spirit!”  You grinned at his obvious shame and embarrassment.  “I think she and I would’ve gotten along just fine.”  You didn’t look away from Sans, still wanting an answer but smiled wider as even Papyrus laughed a little.  “So, you wanna explain?”  He looked up at you his grin tight.

“fuck, you know me. she was really easy to tease, doll.  i was just having a bit a fun.”  

“I do know you, you never tried to pull that stunt with me though.”  He hadn’t, not until today and it made you wonder why.  

“‘cause i didn’t want to get slapped again. stars, that hurt enough the last time, i’m an asshole not stupid!”  He glanced back at the screen where it was frozen on that other you and the softer Papyrus fussing over Blue and that almost sad look crossed his face again.  He missed them too you realized.  You leaned back onto the couch and then into Sans both trying to comfort him and draw comfort from him.  Alphys turned the video off and returned the screen to the movie you had been about to watch.  

“It’s ok, Sans.  I get it.”  He saw your sad smile and held you hand, hiding it in his jacket.

“besides, sweetheart.  it was way too easy knowing how they felt about each other and they wouldn’t do anything about it.  he was worse than her because all he could do when i fucked with his phone was leave me angry notes, that shit was hilarious!”  You laughed at that, your mood brightening.

 

 ~~~

 

Beyond how your new relationship with Sans changed your times alone together there was a noticeable change during your exposure therapy sessions as well.  You noticed that grounding feeling in your chest more often; that odd soothing sensation as you struggled to take deep breaths and work past your fear.  You clung to it, holding it as tightly as you could and session by session, nightmare by nightmare you found yourself able to function more.  By the time you were able to hold a conversation throughout a session you hadn’t even realized that you’d not had a nightmare for over a month.  Functioning didn’t mean you weren’t afraid, but it meant you wouldn’t freeze immediately which helped when Sans had his own nightmares.  

 

Sans never mentioned the purple he saw in your soul during your sessions, or even during those times when you were out with your friends and he saw you suddenly look over at a group of humans and put yourself in between them and your friends.   He didn’t understand it but the day he saw Alphys watching your soul after you’d gotten in between the monsters and another bristling group of humans he was almost relieved he wasn’t the only one noticing the oddity.  So he and Alphys started to compare notes and when he did he saw the one thing he hadn’t noticed before.  There was a pattern, and that made him upset.

 

 

It took a few weeks after you first experienced Sans’ nightmares before you were able to talk to Frisk.  It was on one of your days off that you offered to take both Frisk and Asriel to the park allowing Toriel some time to herself.  She was more than grateful at your offer and wouldn’t let you leave until you agreed to stay for dinner that evening.  You took a bus with the kids to the park and while there you kept a watchful out for anything out of place but luckily it was a pretty easy day.   If only you could relax. All the information Sans had told you was buzzing around in your head and you often found yourself staring at Frisk with a conflicted expression.  Come lunch time they had had enough and walked up to you with their arms crossed and small frown on their face.

“____, what’s wrong?”  From your seat on the bench you were a little lower than eye level with them.

“Resets.”  Understanding dawned on their face and even Asriel looked surprised.  Quietly Frisk sat beside you, waiting for you to keep talking.  “Sans told me after...well he told me.  Everything.”  Asriel stiffened at that and Frisk just sighed.  “I don’t pretend to know what your story is behind all this and obviously you must have made some peace with him to still be friends after it all...but this is some heavy shit kid.”  They nodded.  

“I was stupid, curious, and I wasn’t…I wasn’t alone.”

“Chara.”  Asriel supplied.

“Who?”  Now you were more confused.  Frisk shrugged a little and tried to explain.  

 

“Are they still with you?”  Frisk shrugged again, Chara seemed to only really make their presence known when Frisk gave in and brought death into the timeline, then they would take over.  Sometimes Frisk didn’t even have a choice and sometimes they did. The one thing that made you more upset was the fact that Frisk didn’t have any real excuse for their actions, but if Sans hadn’t told you about it you would never have known in the first place.  

If he hadn’t been cursed with remembering then he wouldn’t know either.  

 

“Kid, why this time.  Why did you decide to stop this time?”  

“It was the least I could do, I’m not a very good person to have played with their lives like that, I know...and to have unleashed Chara on them...when I finally got control back, this was the one thing that I could do to apologize.”  They sounded so heartbroken and you still felt slightly sick from your new knowledge but you swallowed past it and pulled Frisk into a half hug without turning towards them.  

“Do you think you would ever do it again?  Reset I mean?”  Asriel curled his vines around your wrist and watched you and Frisk intently.

“If something really bad happened...maybe?  I promised Sans I wouldn’t do it again but if someone died and I couldn’t load close enough...if it meant I could save them...probably.  They deserve their lives on the surface, I want to make sure they all have the chance to live them.”  You nodded and squeezed their shoulder gently.

“Don’t.  Unless you talk to Sans first don’t do it...please.  I don’t want to forget, and he doesn’t want to remember.”  Those last words came out as a whisper and Asriel nuzzled into your arm comfortingly.  The three of you sat talking like that for a while until you were all too hungry to keep sitting on the bench.  Did you feel better having spoken to Frisk?  A little, but more importantly you understood them more than you did and you believed that they wouldn’t just rip everything away on a whim.  

That night when you’d returned the kids home you walked in on what had to have been the most terrifying moment of Sans’ life.  Toriel was towering over him with a look like death in her eyes as he sat sweating bullets at the kitchen table.  When you and the kids walked into the kitchen she turned and gave you the sweetest smile but the moment she looked back at Sans her eyes narrowed again.

“Do you understand?”  He nodded, his eyes wide.  Confused you walked over and patted him gently on the shoulder causing him to flinch.  

“So, are you staying for dinner too?”  The look on his face told you he would like anything but, but Toriel intervened with a dark laugh.

“Of course he is.”  

 

He never did tell you what Toriel had him sweating over but you had a feeling you knew what it was about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep trying to get this finished up, but then I remember that there character's I've neglected and one chapter turns into like two more and I making almost no progress to the actual plot points. So put it up to a vote, do you guys want me to bring Steph back and make her a bigger character or just keep her to side mentions. I can do both.
> 
> Plus I keep getting all these ideas for the classic reader fic and THOSE are turning into their OWN off shoot fic ideas like SF reader and HT reader and I'm drowning over here. As soon as this fic is dont I'll get back to the classic one don't you guys worry.
> 
> ALSO my friend and I started a blog for all our undertale art, fics, or AUs. 
> 
> Check it out if you want, I post under LostMod on it. [UnderTrashGold](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/undertrashgold)


	11. *I Can See Your Soul*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, smut, glorious smut.

A few months passed since the fair, and since you learned about Sans’ nightmares.  They were a good few months.  Your sessions were going better and better and your resounding enthusiasm after each one grew.  Now there was hope that you would eventually be fine, actually fine.  Of course you had no way of knowing for sure and you were happy being able to control your fear but you had hope all the same.  Sans was always a little odd after them though.  You often caught him staring at your chest with his brow creased and a conflicted expression in his eyes, but when he caught you staring at him in turn he would force a smile to his face.  Whatever was going on he wouldn't say and he wouldn't give you enough time to ask any questions before he set about distracting you one way or another.  

 

That summer was ungodly hot, especially as it settled into the final and hottest month and a massive heat wave rolled in.  You still rode to work on your bike but with the heat it was becoming more difficult to manage, especially first thing in the morning.  After the third time when you didn’t hydrate enough before riding to work and wound up sitting on the sidewalk trying not to throw up Papyrus and Undyne had stumbled upon you.  Papyrus gave you a lot of shit for being weak but Undyne seemed to understand your situation.  After all, she had at least three bottles of water stashed on her person and she was a fish lady.  Still, she wasn’t any more pleased than Papyrus was and after work that day Sans was waiting for you outside the building.  He was glowering as much as his brother had earlier that day and you steeled yourself for what was sure to be a fun conversation.

 

“so, dollface, ya nearly passed out on the way t’work.  again.”  You walked over to look for your bike and saw that it was gone.

 

“Where’s my bike?”  His expression didn’t change and when you looked at him accusingly, he just shrugged.

 

“i took it to your place.  you didn’t answer me.”

 

“I didn’t know it was a question, I thought you were just stating facts.  Here’s another fact: I didn’t drink enough water this morning. It’s so damn hot lately that being exhausted and dehydrated don’t make for a happy ride to work.”  You sighed and gave Sans an exasperated look.  “I’m fine, since you  _ asked _ , I know when to take a break.”  Still no reaction.  “The fuck, Sans?  I was already planning on taking the bus from now on until it cooled back down, is that what you are worried about?!”  Apparently it was because his scowl softened.  “Ridiculous.  I’m not that reckless.”

 

“well you are dating me.”  Now he was smirking.   _ Jackass. _  “and you antagonize paps on a near regular basis, i’d say that’s pretty reckless.”  He didn’t bring up your habit of getting in the way of racist humans but you knew that was what he was really thinking.  You took a step closer to him, your back straight, eyes narrowed, and one eyebrow raised.  His smirk twitched.

 

“Now I’d say the reckless one here is you, wanna know why?  Of  _ course _ you do.  Its because you don’t want to annoy the one person that can air your dirty laundry to everyone you know.”  He gave you a look of disbelief and almost fear.  The way you said it made it sound like you knew something about him that he didn’t think you did, and he acted like it, which was curious but a mischievous smile broke your facade.  “Literally, Sans, there’s a pile of your dirty laundry sitting on my floor you need to take home and wash before I string em up in the Monster District.”  It took a moment for your words to catch up to him.

 

“ya little shit.”  You couldn’t stop the laughter that followed and he poked you in the side, hard.

 

For the rest of the heat wave you either rode the bus to work or convinced Sans to take you.  You preferred the latter option mainly because you were able to sleep longer.  

 

~~~

 

Finally, at the end of that month Undyne got her wish for a trip to the ocean.  You rode with Toriel, Frisk, Asriel, and Sans; who didn’t want to be in that vehicle but at your behest decided to suffer Toriel’s wrath.  Which also worked out for you because it meant you were able to fulfill your promise to Mettaton, finally, who was now sitting with Papyrus in the backseat of Undyne’s car.  Mettaton had been so busy during the summer that there had never been a good time for you to set up a meeting between him and Papyrus.  Honestly, hearing that the robot monster was planning on joining you at the beach had been a surprise, a welcome one but a surprise nonetheless.  Napstablook never told you if he had spoken to his cousin, and amongst the text conversations you had with Mettaton it never came up as a topic.  You didn’t even have a chance to ask him before you were all on the road, but he was positively beaming when you saw him so you guessed he was doing fine regardless.

 

Sans was pissed when he found out that Mettaton was going to be with Papyrus for the drive and made sure you knew it.

 

“this was your doing wasn’t it?”

 

“Whatever do you mean?”

 

“oh don’t play coy with me sweetheart, you’re a shit actor.”

 

“SANS!”  Toriel snapped.

 

“I’m as good an actor as I want to be, Sans, be flattered I think highly enough of you to make it obvious.”  Toriel’s eyes glanced at you approvingly in the rear view mirror and you smirked, only to have Sans grumble beside you.  “What are you worried about?”  He glared at you and you rolled your eyes.  “Oh come  _ on, _ do you think so little of me?  Trust me if something bad happens, and I don’t think it will, I’ll be right there with you to kick some metal as-keister.” 

 

After that he kept his grumbling to a minimum and eventually left off it entirely, though he still looked a little grumpy.

 

The drive itself was actually decent, Sans fell asleep in the back against the window while you sang along with Frisk and Az to some Disney songs.  How Sans slept through the rambunctious noise in the car you had no idea.  

When you got to the beach it was still morning so it wasn’t too hot as of yet which was nice.  It was definitely cooler here by the water and there was a pleasant breeze. Once the car was parked you helped Toriel unload the trunk.  Being a true Cinnamom she had packed a cooler with lunch for everyone, a cooler that she now thrust into Sans’ arms who stood scowling off to the side.  He seemed to be waiting for you, it was sweet and you were glad.  

As you were juggling a couple of bags and towels in your arms you felt everything being plucked from you and you turned around to look at a grinning Mettaton.

 

“Oh darling, I really must thank you.”  You reached for the rest of the stack of towels and grinned back at him.

 

“Went well then I take it?”

 

“Oh yes, we had the most marvelous conversation.  Our dear Captain is quite the charmer.”  You weren’t sure about that but as long as everyone was happy you didn’t really care to argue.  At least if they became friends then Papyrus would have someone else to talk to about his exploits and traps.  Sans eyed the two of you with narrowed eye sockets and you turned your grin towards him.  “Oh don’t let me ruin your day, go on gorgeous I will be with you momentarily.”  The taller monster waved you off with one of his extra hands and grabbed a few more items from the trunk before following you towards Toriel and the sandy beach.

 

It really was a nice day, just enough cloud coverage to not roast you alive and hot enough to make the water enjoyable.  When you had stripped down to your swimsuit Sans had found himself at a loss for words, it wasn’t the red one he still had a picture of but it definitely made all of your curves stand out in a way that more than  _ suit _ ed you.  You had made a point if hiding it from him that morning, not that he hasn't seen you completely naked before but there was something about showing this much skin in public that was appealing.  When you asked him to apply some sunscreen to your back he took the opportunity to whisper dirty little jokes and wishes in your ear with the occasional genuine compliment.  It took a while until he gave up using his fingers and switched to the solid bone that formed his palms.  By the time he was done your face already looked sunburnt and he had a good laugh about it.  In retaliation you decided to make a show of applying sunscreen to your legs, baring the scars of his teeth on your inner thigh while he watched suddenly very quiet.  

Undyne raced immediately into the water while you helped Toriel set up the large blanket.  Papyrus was  standing with his arms crossed, surveying the few humans that were already at the beach as if looking for troublemakers, and Alphys and Frisk set up the chairs while Mettaton handled the large umbrella.  

 

You noticed during setup, and not for the first time that day, that your friends were giving you odd looks.  It wasn’t like you had something on your face, you’d checked, but more than once you noticed someone glance down at your chest in confusion and then look away as if nothing happened.  You tried to ignore it.  You’d long since gotten used to Sans doing it himself, well ‘used to’ being a relative term.  You’d really just accepted it as a thing monsters did and moved on.  That was what you were trying to do now.  

Once set up was done you laid down on your stomach with a book to read a little and people watch as more and more humans, and even the occasional monster or monster pair, wandered onto the beach.  Nearly all of the humans gave your group a large berth leaving your friends plenty of room to horse around.  

 

While you people watched flashes of colors kept springing to your vision as if someone had turned a glass and the light had shone in your face.  The more humans arrived to the beach the worse it got.  You’d noticed sparks of color before in the recent week and you’d just assumed it was time to go see an eye doctor, or maybe just get more sleep.  Now it was more prominent so you closed your book and your eyes and laid on your back, positioning yourself under the shade of the umbrella enough that you wouldn’t need sunglasses.  Nearby you listened to Mettaton speaking excitedly with Alphys and Frisk about some new show he was pitching in the near future and past them you heard the shouts of Papyrus and Undyne throwing around a frisbee.  A bout of loud swearing made you open your eyes and you see that the disc was sailing out over the ocean. 

Undyne dove in after it while Papyrus blamed her for not catching his very obvious trick throw.  Something didn’t seem right about the trajectory of the disc but before it went much further Undyne snatched it out of the air.  She threw it back straight for the taller skeleton and there was no way she could have missed but the wind seemed to catch it and send it into the dunes.  Outraged, Papyrus ran after it.  You looked over at Sans who was sitting in one of the chairs and laughing to himself nearly uncontrollably.   _ That sly little bastard _ .  Another flash of color made you close your eyes again and you dropped your head back to the ground.

 

Frisk tried to get into the game of Frisbee with Die and Paps, but despite their enthusiasm they weren’t able to run nearly as far as the older two to catch up to the disc when it sailed out if their hands.  They ran up to you after another failed attempt asking you to be on their team and you couldn’t help but to say yes.  Snagging a pair of dark sunglasses from Mettaton made it easier to see what was going on, and it helped to keep the flashes of color from bothering you. 

 

“Alright, punks!  I’m not goin’ easy on ya just ‘cause you two are human!”

 

“CLEARLY.  YOU HAD BETTER BE UP TO THE CHALLENGE.  IF YOU CAN’T CATCH THE DISC WE GET A POINT!”  

 

“But what if the wind carries the disc somewhere we can’t reach?  The point of a frisbee is to throw it to each other to try and catch it, not to try to out throw each other.”

 

“SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW!”  You and Frisk shared a look of amused dread and took up your spots.  Without warning Die spun the disc towards Frisk, not nearly as hard as she did when she threw it at Papyrus and you smiled knowingly.  Frisk ran after the disc as it soared over their head.  They stretched out their arms trying to reach it and barely, by the tips of their fingers, caught it.  You cheered, hopping up and down on the sand.  Frisk threw the disc to Papyrus who caught it easily and then whipped it straight for you.  It’s trajectory was lower than Undyne’s had been and you were able to run in front of it and snatch it out of the air.

 

“HA! I got it!”  Frisk clapped in response and you threw it as hard as you could at Undyne.  Your aim was off and it veered a little farther left than you’d intended.  “Sorry ‘bout that!”  Still, she caught it without a problem and passed it back to Frisk.  This time they missed.  The disc soared straight through their outstretched hands and into the deft hands of Mettaton.  Without looking he passed the disc off to Frisk.

 

“THAT’S OUR POINT!”

 

“Yea yea. Better luck next time, Frisk!”  you called out.  They were laughing you noticed when they threw the disc to Papyrus.  Once again he caught it no problem and chucked it hard at you, over you, there it goes.  “Shit.”  You ran after the disc, seeing it was headed for the water.  It was going to be too far gone by the time you leveled with it you realized, but then the wind caught it and blew it back towards you.  Or not the wind, you realized because the breeze you felt was going in a different direction.  You pulled the frisbee out of the air with a laugh.  Papyrus was indignant.  

You had better aim this time when you threw the disc to Undyne, it went straight for her hands and then lifted at the last second to sail over her head.  

 

“What the hell?”  she ran after the disc and missed it by inches.  She recovered it and in her irritation, threw it harder than she had been at Frisk.  It wasn't even aimed at them but somehow, and you had an idea how, it veered into their path and they grabbed it.  Frisk took a moment before throwing the disc at Papyrus and it dipped in between his legs and out into the dunes.  From that point the game was basically rigged, but both you and Frisk were having fun and when you shared a look after another lost disc was chased down you realized they knew what was going on too.  

It didn't take long after that before Papyrus caught on himself.  He had dove for the disc and missed it barely, getting sand all in his joints and chest cavity and back from the blanket Sans was howling with laughter.  Papyrus sat up, looked at you and Frisk, looked at his brother and within seconds was up and stalking towards his brother.

“SANS YOU FILTHY LITTLE CRETIN!” Sans stopped mid laugh and a jumped up from his chair.  

 

“come on, boss.  i was only making the game fair.”  He tripped backing over his chair and fell into the sand.  “honest, just a bit of fun.”

 

“YOU STINKING. CHEATING. SON OF A-”

 

“ _ beach?”  _ Sans supplied, unhelpfully already bolting down the shore.  Papyrus roared in irritation and chased after his brother, calling him a number of things.  Within moments Papyrus’ long legs had caught up to Sans and he hoisted him up without any effort.  Sans’ struggles to free himself grew more frantic when he saw Papyrus was marching him to the ocean.  Then Papyrus lifted Sans over his head, reeled back and chucked him far into the water.  Sans hit the water with a yell and was immediately under, and pretty far out.  When he didn’t surface right away you jogged to the water’s edge trying to see where he was.

 

“Papyrus can he swim?  The water will literally go right through him, there’s no buoyancy or surface area or-”

 

“HE WILL BE FINE! THAT BASTARD DESERVES WORSE.”  Finally Sans stood up in the water, it was only up to his chest you saw and breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Oh come on Papyrus, lighten up.  He was making the game more fair...at first anyway”

 

“I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU’D TAKE HIS SIDE.”  He eyed you with disdain.  “I DON’T ABIDE BY CHEATERS, YOU DESERVE THE SAME AS HIM, ACCOMPLICE AS YOU ARE.”  You took a step away from him and raised your hands in surrender.

 

“Come on Paps, you don’t gotta do that.  Would the Great and Terrible Papyrus really stoop so low as to -”  He took a menacing step toward you as if to answer your question.

 

“Fuck!”  There was no way in hell you could outrun Papyrus so the only safe place was the water, if you got there before he could throw you in then you ruined his game.  So you ran right into the surf, kicking water up behind you causing him to sputter.  You heard him grumbling about cheaters as you fought the tide to get far enough away.  When you were a good distance out, the water only at your waist you turned to look behind you and was relieved to see he had returning to the blanket where Mettaton was waving him over.  A wave caught you from behind and shoved you under, ripping the sunglasses from your face and spinning you in a circle.  You stood back up, coughing out the salt water and rubbing your eyes.  When you could see again you looked along the beach trying to reorient yourself to where your friends were on the beach.  More flashes of color caught your eyes, distracting you and you turned away from the shore quickly to look out over the water.  In the process of turning you collided with Sans who caught you before you could fall back into the water.  

 

“falling for me all over again there, sweetheart?”

 

“Every day.”  He turned red but his smile grew larger.  For a moment you just stood there leaning into him and letting the water cool your sunbaked skin.  Waves rolled by lifting the water up to your chest occasionally and you bent your knees so you could half float in the water and moved a little further out, pulling from Sans’ grasp.  “You going back in?”

 

“in a moment.”  He followed you out and then pulled you back against him, holding you while you let yourself float with the waves.  

 

“Y’know, it’s funny.”

 

“what is, doll?”

 

“The day I got this swimsuit I never once would have thought I’d end up here, with you.”  He looked down at you.  “Not that I would change anything but...something’s been bugging me.”  You wrapped your arm around his back and held onto his ribs, he sucked in a breath and held you a little tighter but didn’t complain.  “I’m not exactly worried but I mean you can’t blame me for thinking about it, not really.”

 

“seriously  _ water  _ you talking about?”

 

“I hadn’t thought about it much until today, hadn’t really remembered but...well the day I got this suit Alphys told me about Soul Mates.”  Now you looked up at Sans and saw his eyelights had shrunk.  

“I mean honestly the idea that one day you could meet someone, and they would be...y’know...the  _ one _ and then it wouldn’t really be up to me to stop you from-”  You shrugged.

 

“leaving?” 

 

“Hmm?  Oh, yea…”  You looked back at the water, tightening your hand the rib it was holding betraying the deeper pain you had at the thought you were trying to play off.  “Like I said, it’s just something that bugs me from time to ti-”   

 

“____, sweetheart, listen to me i am never going to leave you.  the only way you can get rid of me is by telling me you want nothing to do with me.”  What karmic being had decided that he deserved someone who cared so much about him that they would honestly worry he would leave them.  This whole time he had been afraid you were going to leave him, it was almost funny.  Almost. 

 

“But I would never-!”  You looked up at him startled and planted your feet back on the ground so you could stand, tears still in your eyes.  His arm around your back tightened and his brow furrowed, your chest ached in an odd way.

 

“remember how i promised to find you if this ever reset?”  You did so you nodded.  “i fucking hate making promises so i don’t make them lightly.  i will find you and i will not leave you.”  His eyes bore into yours intently and you smiled.  As rough as Sans was he really had a sweet side.  

 

“I know.  Not sure how, but I do.”  He saw something in your face that made his own turn red again, albeit faintly.  He tugged you back against him and kissed you deeply, you could taste the ocean on him.  When he released you, you were just as flustered as he had been and he chuckled at your breathlessness. 

“Sans, you do remember everyone can see us right?”  That shut him up but he sucked in a breath and leaned his forehead against yours.  “you’re mine,” he growled, “just remember that.”  You nodded with a smile and then something bright red caught your eyes, dazzling you, then it was gone and Sans was dumping you unceremoniously on the blanket next to Frisk.  His laughter at your confusion and loss for words made you squint at him before falling back on the blanket and staring up at the clouds. 

 

Despite the loss of your sunglasses you tried not to let the flashes of colors bother you and helped Frisk and Asriel build a sandcastle, to which you then dubbed Az the king of and placed him on top much to his pleased embarrassment.  Then it was time for lunch and Sans was no longer able to avoid his brother.  A few poorly timed jokes later and you found yourself getting in between the two of them with the sand covered remains of your lunch.

 

“Ok you two, just cause this is called a  _ sand _ wich does NOT mean it is meant to be covered in  _ sand _ !  Look at what you did!”  Sans had the good sense to at least look ashamed while Papyrus just crossed his arms and turned away from you with a huff.  You growled in frustration and chucked it at him, pegging him in the back of the skull with the sand coated bread.  Bits of mustard and mayo making it stick.

“WHAT THE HELL!”  He nearly lunged across the blanket at you but was stopped with a warning glare from Toriel.  Undyne, who had been in the middle of a taking a bite choked on her lunch with laughter.  Alphys and Mettaton just shared a look.  You crossed your own arms and sat glaring at him, silent laughter dancing in your eyes.  He glanced at your chest and his eyes narrowed slightly then he wiped his skull free of the food and looked away from you.  His jaw was clenched tightly with unspoken words.  Luckily for you, Toriel packed more food than was necessary and you were able to make yourself a second sandwich, minus the sand and ate it quickly before anything else could take it away from you.  

The rest of lunch passed pleasantly, jokes and conversations filled the air of tense silence between the two brothers and even Mettaton didn’t try to make himself the center of attention.  He seemed to be enjoying just being a part of it all.  What you couldn’t help noticing was the more you enjoyed yourself the more your friends were starting to look at you with concern, more accurately your chest, even Papyrus grew more subdued when he looked at you; until finally sometime after lunch you couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“Ok what the heck is going on guys!  You keep looking at me like I’m sick or something.”  You pointed at your chest and then realized what they were looking at.  “My soul, you guys keep looking at my soul!  Is something wrong with my soul!?!”  

 

“No my child, it’s just that…”  Toriel looked at you with a furrowed brow,  “I don’t know.  Your soul is off color.”

 

“Off...color?”   _ What the hell did that mean? _

 

“You know that all souls retain a color in alignment with the person’s main attribute?”

 

“Yea, it’s been mentioned.”

 

“You have, for some reason, two colors.”  Toriel concluded.

 

“Is this new?”  you turned to Sans, remembering him staring at this exact spot many times before, staring at your soul with confusion and concern.  “Sans!”  He jumped.  “Is this new? It isn’t is it?”  Now everyone was looking at Sans, Alphys was trying to avoid eye contact as well.  

 

“well…-” Sans was sweating and his voice trailed off.

 

“No, n-no it isn’t...not entirely.  We didn-didn’t want you to worry.  We were just keeping an eye on it.”  She looked at Undyne’s crossed arms and back to Sans.

 

“SANS HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THIS?  YOU’VE SEEN THIS BEFORE AND NOT MENTIONED IT?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!  YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOUR MATE NOT SIT THERE AND WAIT UNTIL SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS!”  Sans flinched and a confused look spread over his face that he quickly quashed. 

 

“it just always went away before and it never seemed to bother you.”  He was avoiding your gaze.  You huffed and mirrored Undyne’s irritated pose.

 

“Is it bad?  Is this bad?!”   _ Please tell me it isn’t bad. _

 

“we don’t know.  it’s unprecedented in recorded history, i’ve checked.  it always went away before and it never seemed to be causing any problems.  i hoped it was just a temporary thing, a second attribute that was growing stronger… i don’t know!”  He was obviously upset, but if he had been worried that you were in danger he would have told you, but now that everyone was getting upset he was defensive. 

 

“I feel fine, do I look fine other than being a few colors short of a rainbow?”  You looked at everyone, challenging them with the stubborn set of you jaw.  A variety of colors flashed in your eyes and you blinked hard to make them go away.  Toriel looked you over again, you honestly did look fine.

 

“I’m sure you will be fine, I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable.  Souls are...precious, so changes to them are often a cause for concern.”  She smiled at you and you raised your eyebrows at everyone else who just shared looks and the colors flashed again.  You stood up.

 

“Ok, I need to take a walk.”  You were starting to realize that these colors you were seeing weren’t flashes of light reflecting off of anything, and hearing that your soul was all wrong you were worried they were connected.   More than that you were somewhat irritated that Sans hadn’t told you about this before, but you didn’t want to be petty over it.  You quickly left everyone behind and walked to the wet sand where the remnants of waves could roll over your feet as you walked down the beach.  After a few minutes you heard someone walk up beside you.  You looked up at Mettaton in surprise.

 

“Everyone figured it would be better if Sans didn’t try to follow you right now.”  

 

“Good idea.”  You walked together in companionable silence for a bit while you let your irritation wash away with the sands at your feet.  Of course everyone was worried, they cared about you.  You shouldn’t have snapped at them for treating you like that, caring about someone as fragile as you was probably new to them too.  At least Frisk had their own magic in a way.  You sighed and Mettaton gave you a half hug causing you to waddle for a second.  

 

“Don’t worry too much darling, I’m sure half of them aren’t even expecting you to apologize.”  

 

“How did you know that’s what I was thinking about?”

 

“Oh my dear, look who you are talking to would you?”

 

“Good point.”  You smiled a little, it was still a nice day out and as long as you didn’t look towards the people on the beach to your left you didn’t have any weird colors bothering you.

 

“Oh did I tell you that my dear cousin finally agreed to talk to me?” 

The rest of the day went pretty well, when you’d returned to the group after talking with Mettaton everyone acted like nothing was wrong.  You still apologized to Toriel for acting like an ass but she just waved you off.  No one brought it up again until you were helping to load things back into the trunk of Toriel’s car, exhausted from the day in the sun and sea.  Alphys approached you almost nervously and you leaned against the car while she spoke to you.  She wanted you to come to the lab tomorrow so she could scan your soul, just to make sure that there wasn’t anything wrong or any weird side effects from the dual colors in your soul.

 

“Could flashes of colors be a side effect?”  your eyes darted after the fleeing colors and then returned to Alphys’ face.  She had a look of almost dangerous interest as she thought for a moment.

 

“Possibly, it depends on what exactly caused your soul to change.”  

 

“Well ok then, I'll have Sans take me.”  She seemed satisfied with that answer and climbed into Undyne’s car.

 

“take you where?”  

 

“Oh, there you are. Alphys wants to run some tests or whatever to make sure I'm ok.  Tomorrow at the lab.”  

 

“that's….actually not a bad idea.” he mused, “it’s probably best i’m there anyway...alphys has a penchant for...overdoin’ it when she gets goin’.  ‘sides, i’m curious myself.”

 

“Does this mean I get to see you in a lab coat?” 

 

“Why?”

 

“Cause you only ever wear the same thing and I think you'd look hot in it.” your blunt comment made his magic rush to his cheeks slightly.  He was never going to get used to how you unabashedly spoke about him.

 

You suffered the ride home wishing you had thought to bring a change of clothes and dozed in and out the entire way back.  You also wished you hadn’t told Sans to leave his jacket at home because all you wanted to do was wrap yourself up in it and nuzzle into the fur of the hood until you fell asleep.   Luckily you were only a couple of hours away from the city so you just dozed.  When you were dropped off at home you thanked Toriel for such a fun day and promised to visit soon. She smiled with a concerned look in her eyes and bid you farewell, then you sent Sans home because he didn’t have clothes at your apartment.  

You might have grumbled at him to just grab some clothes to keep at your place but you weren’t sure, either way he kissed you briefly and teleported home.  You went inside, kicking the door closed behind you, locked it, and then shed the salt encrusted suit into the laundry basket.  After you’d cleaned off with the shower you set the water to fill up the tub with scalding water and settled into it to relax.  Your phone sat on the toilet near you playing music and you rested your eyes.

 

“____.”  You sat up with a start sloshing water over the lip of the bathtub and looked sleepily up at Sans who was standing in the door of the bathroom.  The water was still nearly as hot as when you’d drawn it so you hadn’t been soaking for long.  He was wearing clean clothes, a red shirt instead of black and some black sweatpants.  He looked good you thought and it wasn’t his usual attire.  Did he make an effort to wear something different because you’d joked about it?  He really was sweet.  

 

“Is that offer still open?”

 

“what offer?”  He leaned against the doorframe eyeing you with a mix of hunger and adoration.

 

“Some odd months ago when I told you I was taking a bath you offered to help keep the water warm.”  You scooted forward in the tub ignoring the fact that it might be cramped, you were tired and feeling needy.  Understanding dawned on his face and within moments he had stripped down and climbed in behind you.  You chuckled at his eagerness and when he was settled you leaned back against him and closed your eyes.  His ribs pressed into your back but it wasn’t all that uncomfortable in this position, the support of his body was more comfortable than just leaning against the wall at least.  He said something and you hummed in response: you hadn’t heard him.

 

“Hmm, what? Sorry.”  You tilted your head back onto his clavicle and looked up at him.  His fingers dug into your sides where he knew you were ticklish.  “Staahhaap, I said I was sorry.  What did you say?”  You felt him laugh and he leaned down and nipped at your neck.

“i  _ said _ that you should probably eat and go to bed.”

“You should eat me in bed.”  The words slipped through your filter out of your mouth before you realized what you were saying.

“is that so?”  You shook your head, laughing.

“No, no I was joking, I’m tired that just slipped out.”

“hmm, but i could just,”  His hand slid down your stomach to the space between your thighs. “slip right in.”  He stroked you gently and you breathed out hard.  Despite how tired you were that still felt really good.  Thanks to the warm bath his fingers were able to glide around your folds without much friction and when you didn’t stop him he smirked and licked your neck, leaving a tingling trail behind.  He made deft circles around your clit working you up until you were breathless and moaning quietly.  

You raised your arms over your head and laced them around his neck, keeping his head down at yous.  Your nails caught and dragged along the back of his skull and against the vertebrae of his neck before you brought your hands back down...except you couldn’t.  Something wrapped around your hands tingling and hot.  He had used his magic to tie your hands around his neck and when you tugged he lifted his head from your neck and chuckled low in his throat.

 

“no, i think i prefer you in this position.”  His voice was a growl in your ear and he sat up straighter causing your body to be stretched out and your back arched against him in the tub. 

 

He’d tied you up before, usually just your hands so he could keep you in a position he liked. Surprisingly enough you found you enjoyed it, even if you were a little shit about: making jokes and laughing.  This new position stretched out your muscles and woke you up a bit more than you had been.  One of his hands reached up to knead and stroke at your breasts and while you were distracted he slipped two fingers inside of you causing you to gasp.  

 

“yea, you look good like this, and i certainly have the  _ breast _ view.”  He laughed again before nipping at your ear. 

 

“Was that...supposed to be...a-a joke-------------”  you had a little trouble getting out your response and it came out much less sarcastic than you’d been shooting for because he’d pinched your nipple and his fingers had found the right motion and speed to bring you close to your edge.  

 

“what was that?”  You dug your fingernails into his skull hard causing him to groan against your temple and you felt his magic manifest against your lower back.  You tried to tell him you were close but before you could he was growling softly in your ear again.  “i want you to cum for me, love. i want to hear you moaning my name.”  That, now that you could do.  You were already so close that when his hand left your nipple and focussed on the bundle of nerves at your core while his other hand teased your entrance you felt the coil inside of you snap.  Desperately you clung to his neck and skull, bound as you were; water sloshing up around the both of you.

 

“Saaanns...god Sans...ffmmmm”  You willed yourself to call out his name and almost started swearing in the process.  Your wrists strained against the magic restraining them to no avail and you felt his breathing quicken while he worked you through the waves of pleasure that had you spasming.  When you’d settled and become oversensitive he released his magic and guided your hands back down to your sides.  You were panting slightly and  feeling even more exhausted than before thanks to the post orgasm crash.  A sigh escaped you and scooted away from him in the tub so you could turn to see him, he had a devilish smile on his face that made your already hot core hotter.  You wanted to return the favor, to make him feel just as good but the tub was too cramped for that.  With a very sleepy and sultry look you drained the tub and stood up, carefully stepping out onto the bath mat.  His eyes followed your dripping leg up to where his mark remained and his eyes narrowed in approval.  You grabbed your towel and made room for him to get out.

 

“Come on lazybones.”  He took the extra towel you held out for him and you turned away to start drying off your body.  Slowly he started to dry himself off, his eyes raking over your glistening skin.  Then you bent down to dry off your legs,  your ass was pointed right at him and yep, he wasn’t waiting anymore.  He dropped the towel and grabbed you from behind.  “Well, hello there.”  You laughed and then sucked in breath when you felt him rub against your entrance from behind.  You were still half bent over next to the sink, glancing up at the mirror you saw the feral hunger in his eyes and you trembled.  He teased you a little more, obviously holding back or waiting for something.  You ground back against him while gripping the counter for support; he slid in a little.

 

“fuck... you’re still tight from before.”  His voice was low and he was right, he was stretching you out even as he spoke.  Moaning a little you pushed back against him harder forcing him all the way in, your eyes never leaving his in the mirror.  Your breasts bounced against you as he started to thrust in and out, his fingers digging painfully into your hips, squeezing them when he found the rhythm he wanted.  “this is hot, and you-” He ran one hand up your side and around to the top of your shoulder to get a firmer grasp of control over your body.  “you are incredible.”  You grinned at him through the mirror, wishing you were facing him so you could grab ahold of his ribs and silence him in ecstasy.

 

“Shut up and fuck me, Sans.” Your voice was breathy and full of desire, you didn’t even care if you got off a second time, the sensations were good enough on their own to make this enjoyable.

 

“whatever you say, babe.”  His thrusts became harder and faster.  He was turning you into a panting mess and you dropped your head, breaking eye contact with him.  He leaned down against your back as his thrusts became sloppy and sunk his teeth into your shoulder breaking the skin.  You cried out at the pain and felt yourself racing to an edge you didn’t think you were going to meet again.  He licked away the blood of the wound and looked at your face in the mirror, you had risen your head to meet his gaze again and there was fire in your eyes.

 

“Again.” you breathed.  His eyes flashed wickedly and before you could tell him again he picked a new location and bit into you.  You trembled and shifted your hips so he would hit right where you were feeling the build and as he released your flesh from his teeth you tumbled into your second orgasm.  This time you couldn’t get his name out, instead you just moaned and gasped, your knuckles turning white where you held onto the sink counter.  Sans came shortly after you clenched around him, swearing into your skin, one of his hands shooting forward to press into the counter beside yours.

 

When you’d both ridden out the last of the pleasure he took a breath and pulled out of you leaving you empty and slightly sore.  You tried to stand up straight but your legs weren’t having it and you just turned slowly using the counter as support.  Sans had banished his magic by the time you finished turning around, well except for the red tinted ejaculate running down your thighs.  Your shoulder and neck were starting to hurt by this point but you were now thoroughly sated and exhausted and didn’t pay it much mind.  

 

“you are beautiful.”

 

“You’re high on lust.”

 

“still true.”  He put one hand on the counter behind you and the other on your injured neck and shoulder, pulling you up to kiss him.  The sting of your injuries tingled and faded as he leaned into both you and the kiss.  By the time he pulled back the pain was gone entirely and you knew he had healed you.  You smiled softly and told him you needed to clean up again, ‘so shoo’.  His grin grew again at that and he collected his clothes to get dressed while you closed the door to the bathroom behind him.  When you were done and you’d dug out something to wear for yourself you curled up on the couch beside him using a throw pillow to cushion your head on his lap.

 

“we should still eat food.”

 

“I’m too tired.”  It wasn’t even really that late but you could easily just go to sleep now and wake up again sometime around midnight.  He didn’t respond and just continued to watch tv, fingers stroking your wet hair and the exposed skin of your upper back.

 

The next day you woke up to your phone ringing and Sans’ arm slung over you pinning you to the bed.  You had of course woken up near midnight needing food much to Sans amusement who had fallen asleep on the couch with you and hadn’t gone back to sleep until about three or so.  It was only about nine right now,  _ why couldn’t anyone let you sleep past nine on a Saturday?! _  You rolled over under Sans’ arm ignoring his groans and grumbles and grabbed your phone.

 

“Alphys! Seriously let me sleep a few more hours I’m fucking exhausted!”  You hissed into the phone, pulling the blanket up over your head.  She tried to talk you into coming in earlier and the more you argued with her the more Sans got irritated until he finally snatched the phone from you.

 

“alphys, fuck off.” He hung up the phone and put it under his pillow to muffle any further ringing.  You laughed a little and he squinted at you peeking out from under the blanket at him.  Then he snaked his arm around your waist and yanked you over to him not even bothering to cushion himself for you.  Still, you didn’t mind.  You were just glad to be able to get some more sleep. 

The second time you woke up you were caged in Sans’ arms and he was wrapped around you protectively which made you really not want to get up.  Still the sun was shining through the curtains brighter than you’d expected so you managed to slip a hand under his pillow and retrieve your phone.  You had a few missed calls and messages from Alphys and it was nearly one.  You groaned and tried to extract yourself from Sans. 

If you hated getting out of bed then Sans was even worse and it took you tickling the undersides of his ribs to finally get him off of you.  After that it was just a matter of getting dressed and eating something before you left for the lab.  Sans made a show of getting out of bed to get dressed from the bag of clothes you hadn’t realized he brought.  It made you feel fuzzy on the inside and for a moment you saw something bright red almost like his magic.  You blinked and it was gone.  It couldn’t have been what you thought it was, no that was impossible.   You turned away, thinking about the day before...the night before.  He’d called you  _ love _ !  You froze, you’d forgotten in the heat of the moment and the following exhaustion but he only ever called you sweetheart or doll, sometimes dollface and occasionally babe but never, you turned back to look at him as he tugged on his customary black t-shirt.  There it was again, you blinked and there it still was.  

 

“HA!” A laugh barked out of you, filled with confusion and wonder and maybe a touch of panic. “Ha..hahahaha…”  you laughed and stared and he looked at you confused.

 

“what are you laughing at?”  You walked over to him, eyes still glued to his chest, oddly panicked laughter still bubbling out of your lips.

 

“I can see your soul.  I CAN SEE YOUR SOUL!”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback last chapter, I agree and it makes it easier.
> 
> By the way dooders, I've got an collab undertale blog now at undertrashgold.tumblr.com. 
> 
> Check it out, feel free to ask stuff, I might post some non canon dabbles there along with some art. Who knows!


	12. *You Really Are Mine...*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little Soul Play little Smut
> 
> Also, you see them new tags? Ye.

You looked up at his frozen face and then back down, reaching a hand out to his chest as if you could touch it.  It looked like an upside down cartoon heart, but smokey red like his magic and it was pulsing oddly.

“I can see your soul.”  The words came out a whisper as your hand made contact with his chest and he flinched.  He had felt magic reach for his soul, you shouldn’t have magic.  That was impossible!  And you could see his soul which should also have been impossible!  Was that what was happening yesterday when you said you kept seeing all those flashes of colors?   _Fuck._  The magic that reached out towards his soul it tingled and made him feel so very strange, elated almost, full of...something.  And odder yet was the fact that his soul tried to reach back to it, hungrily as if that was the one thing it wanted more than anything.  When he glanced at the muddled color of your soul he saw it pulsing in a similar way to how his was and he felt his stomach bottom out.  You couldn’t possibly be…?  Papyrus had called you his Mate yesterday but he hadn’t really thought about it until now but...he grabbed you and within a blink you were in the lab.

 

“ALPHYS!”

“Oh-oh good, you finally showed up.  I was just about to give up on - what is going on.”  She looked from Sans’ panicked and conflicted expression to yours as you started laughing again.

“I can see _your_ soul too! HA!” you stared, souls were oddly beautiful.  Alphys’ whipped her head to Sans so fast you thought she was going to fall over.

“That s not pos-po-possible. It's not possible!”  Her voice was excited and Sans just shrugged his brow creased in concentration.  While you were busy distracted by this new development in your life you didn't even pay attention the pristine environment you were in, so when you found yourself being tugged further into the room you looked around in surprise.  It wasn’t white like you’d seen labs in the movies but it was very clean...well except for that table in the corner that was covered in papers and empty ramen cups.  

You allowed Alphys to lead you through the lab into a secondary room where some odd machine was set up.

 

“Wait what?  No tour?  No hello?  No grand hypothesis on what the hell is going on with me?!”  You craned your head back to see that Sans was following a little further behind you two.  You gave him a look that asked him to do something.

“I have no idea what is happening with you, ____ so our first and best plan of action is to scan your soul.”  Alphys was in full head scientist mode at this point and pushing you towards the rather intimidating looking machine.

“Is it going to hurt?”  The closer you got the more uneasy you felt.

“Uh...no.  It shouldn’t.” When you looked away from Alphys and back again Sans was gone.

 

Alphys had you stand very, very still once you were inside the machine and then she too left the room.

 

Maybe they couldn’t be in the same room while the machine was running?

You couldn’t see them from your position but you remembered there being a window along one of the walls so you guessed they were nearby.  You hoped they were nearby.  The way they were acting was making you feel more worried than you had started out.  Even Sans was being unusually silent throughout all this.  You fought the urge to shift your weight back and forth but when the machine roared to life you twitched.

“don’t worry, sweetheart, just hold on, this shouldn’t take long.”  You breathed through your nose and held yourself still until the machine stopped vibrating and the sound faded away.  

“Can I move now?”  Silence.  “Hellloooo?”

“uh...just one sec we uh...the readings are a bit off-”

“We-we need to run the scan again, don’t worry.”  You pursed your lips and blinked slowly, those words were never reassuring.  Either the scan messed up, or they were seeing something that they didn’t understand.  

 

Within moments the machine whirred back to life and you counted down from a hundred until it finished.  This time you didn’t wait you just stepped out of the machine and located the window where Sans and Alphys were staring at a screen.  When you tapped on the window and held up your hands in a “what now” position Alphys waved you over to the door.

The screen they were looking at didn’t make a lot of sense to you, actually it made no sense to you so you just grabbed one of the rolling chairs and made yourself comfortable.  They were talking about things you didn’t understand and the longer you sat there in the dark the more impatient you got.  Even the novelty of seeing their souls couldn’t break through your mood so you spun lazily in the chair.  One giant sigh later your chair was abruptly stopped and you were face to face with Sans.  He was...unhappy, to put it lightly.

 

The first scan Alphys had run had Sans worried and confused, the second had him in a near state of panic.  It wasn’t that the machine was wrong, after all he had helped build this machine a while ago in the underground when he still worked alongside Alphys. He just didn’t want it to be right.  What it was telling him, even Alphys didn’t understand it.  Your soul’s reading was flickering between that of a human’s and that of a monster’s.  The inky purple that was swirling through your soul wasn’t human Perseverance, it was pure concentrated magic, almost like a piece of a soul that had gotten integrated into your own.  It made sense why you could see Souls now, it even made sense why you’d somehow pushed against Sans’ own soul with some kind of magic.  Whatever had happened to you was making you less human and he had no idea what was happening.  Where had this foreign magic come from?  What would happen if it took over completely, what would happen to you?  The more he thought about it and the more he stared at the different colors on the screen in front of him, the colder he felt.  

He knew the purple had looked familiar, of course it did and of course he’d ignored that familiarity.  There was no way in hell that this was what he thought it was but, when he looked at you spinning in the chair, lips pressed into a thin line of resignation, he couldn’t afford to ignore what was staring him in the face.  Alphys was rambling about numbers and the improbability that this was a natural occurrence of the soul and he had walked over and stopped your chair from spinning only for you to look up at him with wide, trusting eyes.

 

“Sweetheart-”  He looked over at Alphys who realized she had been lost in her own world.

“Oh um, yes sorry.” Alphys started explaining what the scan showed.  All she knew was that your soul was somehow two different ones or both kinds combined.  The more she tried to explain it the more confused you got.  Until finally Sans spoke up, rubbing the back of his head nervously and grimacing the entire time.

“it's like someone used concentrated magic on your soul so much that it tainted it.  it’s changing you.”

“Changing me?”  Seeing Souls was a change for sure.  “Who-who was using magic on me? When?”  You looked between your two friends, hoping someone could explain.

“Well the only pattern we saw of it was when you got really defensive around other humans, like that time at the mall.”  

“and the park.”  You thought about what they said, all those weird little nudges that directed your attention so you could protect your friends.  You felt as if your heart had stopped.  All this time someone was using you?  Was that what your life boiled down to, just a tool for some random monster’s games?  How did you know if any of those decisions were even yours, all those fights...what about the night you met Sans?   _No!_  You refused to believe that whoever this asshole was had affected your life down to even that detail.  If that other you could find Sans in that other universe then you would have found him in yours no matter what.  You loved him too much to believe that everything had been orchestrated by some puppeteer in the shadows.   _Ha_ , what a time to realize how deep your feelings actually went.  Who was this fucker that was toying with your life?!  You started shaking and you gripped the fabric of your pants hard enough to turn your knuckles white.

 

“I made my _own_ choices, I _refuse_ to believe some asshole made my choices for me.  This is _my_ life!”  Sans leaned back from the venom in your voice and felt a cold finger trail over his soul, you weren’t going to like what he had to say next.

“it... also showed up during your therapy sessions.”  You stood up so fast that the back of your legs forced the chair to roll into the wall behind you.  Sans flinched.

“ _What._ ” Your voice was so deathly calm that the word barely sounded like a question and even Alphys looked surprised at the admission: Sans had never told her about that.

“it never looked like it was harming you.  it uh...seemed to be helping and it never stayed long enough for me to puzzle it out until..”

“Until now, yea?  Well now that whoever was toying with my soul has left what seems like a permanent mark it sure is fucking convenient to tell me now.”  You felt sick, you remembered all those times you’d felt an almost comforting presence inside of you, grounding you through your fear and how you had clung to it like the comforting hand of a friend.  Bile rose in your throat, you had actively accepted and encouraged this entity without even realizing it.  You tried to swallow and almost gagged, a hand clutching at your chest.  It wasn’t even like whatever this monster did had hurt you but you felt violated, and now you were tainted.  What if it meant they had a permanent hold on your soul now?  You voiced that question out loud and Sans blanched somehow turning paler than he already was.  

“Could we have even stopped this if you’d mentioned it sooner?”  

“I-I don’t know.”  Alphys said looking back at the screen behind her.  You sucked in a deep breath, trying very very hard not to lash out at either of them.  “I’ve never even seen magic like this before.”

“i have.”  Sans bit the words off angrily and you shifted your eyes back over to him mechanically.  “i didn’t realize until now why it was familiar but…” you saw him sneer and his eyelights dimmed dangerously.  

“And who, pray tell has their grubby fingers on my soul?”  Sarcasm and anger dripped from your words like poison.  Sans ground his teeth and then flicked his dim eyes to yours before exhaling.

“my father.”  The way he said it cause your heart felt cold...or really was it more apt to say your soul at this point.  Something shattered next to you and Alphys and Sans looked at you and then at the computer monitor beside you.  Did you do that?

“Did, did I do that?”  They both looked at you again and you hugged yourself, what was happening to you?  “The one time I asked about your parents Sans, you told me they were dead.”  Alphys nodded, not looking away from you with rapt attention.  

“Well… my mother yes, my father...was lost to the void.”  He was looking at you like you were an animal that could become suddenly dangerous at any moment and it hurt.

 

He eyed you while he spoke explaining how back when he still worked in the labs underground he had worked beside his father who had started the experiments that Alphys later continued.  His father’s magic was always more dangerous as it was connected to the void and it was during one of his experiments with a human soul when something went wrong.  The soul had been a fresh capture and it was fighting back, it broke the machine that was holding it before it could be transferred back to the proper cannister and Gaster, Sans’ father, had tried to use his magic to contain the blast but miscalculated.  Sans hadn’t managed to reach him in time and was hit with the aftershocks of magic as the one monster connected to the void disappeared into it.  Sans had tried to bring him back but after failing and nearly dying himself more than once he had given up and given his father up for dead.  Alphys made connections through Sans’ tale that you didn’t understand but the one thing that stood out to you from all of this was that no one remembered him.

“And you remember him?  But Alphys doesn’t?  You’d think someone as important as him would be oh I don’t know...well respected?  Why do you remember?”  Your voice came out harsher than you’d meant but you didn’t back down.

“for the same damn reason I remember every. fucking. reset.”  His voice was equally as harsh and you flinched.  “because i wasn’t clear of the blast.”  Alphys started rapid firing questions at Sans, what exactly did his father do, what were resets, why had he tainted you soul?  All of them very good questions but none of them the ones you needed answers to at the moment.  Your main question at the moment was what was going to happen to you.

 

“i- i just don’t know.  you could lose your humanity completely, or you could d- you could...you could d-”  Sans couldn’t force the words out of his mouth but you knew what he was saying.

“I could die.”  Your legs felt weak, you were incredibly afraid and astoundingly angry at the same time.  “I could die...worst case scenario?”  You looked at Alphys.

“Pos-possibly... if your soul rejects this new addition...”  

“Oh.”  

“We...um we could try to separate your soul and the magic.  I can have the lab shut down until we are well...y’know done?”  She may have been asking you but you could tell the idea excited her.  

“NO! i don’t even know if he’s still involved at this point, what if we kill her in the process?!”  Sans was leering at Alphys.

“Yea, you don’t _know_.”  He looked at you as if begging you not to say what you were about to say.  “My soul could be permanently tainted and any number of things could happen to me.  I’m...I’m only human.”  Your voice cracked, just a human, that’s all you were.  He walked in front of you and tilted your face up to look at him and his face fell when he saw your eyes were watering.  “If my life is at risk then...then we have to risk saving it.  Don’t we?”  You tried to smile up at him willing yourself to feel braver.  “And as long as everything goes right, if I ever meet your father,”  you smiled more genuinely and tilted your head to the side.  “I’m going to slug him.”  Sans laughed and pulled you to his chest wrapping you up in his jacket as he hugged you.  You clutched at him through his shirt and discovered you were shaking slightly.  You were going to be fine, you had to be...otherwise if you ever met Gaster you were going to do more than just deck him in the face.  Alphys cleared her throat uncomfortably and Sans’ face lit up red but when he let you go he kept one hand on your waist.

“Did you want to get started now or something?”  You asked.  The smaller scientist was blushing herself a bit.

“Oh! No, I need to modify the DT Extractor befo- well before we do anything.”  

“Oh.”  You had actually kind of hoped that you could just get this over with.  “Does that mean I can go home then?”  She answered in the affirmative and you looked expectantly up at Sans but he was glaring at Alphys.  He asked her when she planned to start the modifications and how long it would take.  She figured that starting tomorrow, on her own it would take her a couple of weeks before she could run the first test on it.  He breathed slowly through his nasal cavity and told her that he would be back in the morning and they would have it done in a week or less for testing.  You hadn’t really expected him to volunteer like that but you felt a little more reassured now regardless.  Alphys smirked, she apparently had expected this.  Sans scoffed and in the next moment he took you home.  

 

After you’d reoriented yourself to your new location you kind of just stood there in silence. There was a heavy cloud hanging over you and you couldn’t seem to shake it.  What did it even look like, this tainted soul of yours.  Sans tried to pull you towards the couch but you resisted him and scrunched your face up.

“I want to see it.”  He looked at you confused, opening his mouth to ask you what you meant but you kept talking.  “My soul, I want to see it.”  His mouth snapped shut and he started sweating again.  This boy sweat more than anyone you knew.  “I can see yours, I want to see what is wrong with mine.”  

“that isn’t really the best idea.”  He didn’t want to pull your soul out, ok well he did but he was afraid to now that he had an idea of exactly what you could be to him.  He was on edge to say the least.

“Why?”  He sputtered, searching for an answer, and you put your hands on your hips.  “That’s what I thought.  It’s my soul I have a right to see it don’t I?”  He couldn’t really argue with you, he knew he was going to lose even if he did.  So he gritted his teeth and lifted his hand to summon your soul from your body.  You felt a tug at your being and after tensing up for a second allowed it to pull your soul out into the open.

 

You looked at your soul intensely, it was actually pretty.  Orange and purple like swirling ink.  Despite the chill you felt at knowing where this purple had come from and what it could mean for you, you smiled.  “Wow.”  You reached out tenderly but it was pulsing oddly and floating towards Sans as if of its own accord.  He was blushing as he stepped back.  When you glanced down at his soul you saw it was reacting to the proximity of your own soul.  “Why is it uh...why is it doing that?”  You stared at your soul pulsing brightly in answer to Sans’.  You felt such an intense feeling, like there was something right in front of you that you needed, something that felt oddly like home and love.  You looked back at Sans, he was frozen in place and breathing hard.  His eyes darted up to yours and hope blossomed on your face.  His eyes widened in accidental confirmation.

 

“OH! Oh oh oh!”  You brought your hands together and bounced where you stood, laughing.  Your soul being so close to him out in the open like that, the heavy cloud didn’t feel quite as heavy at the moment.  “I’m your….your my….we’re….!”  You were filled with too many emotions to articulate your words properly.  “Did you know?”  Did _he know?_  Sans shook his head mechanically, his eyes glued to your soul.  You reached out and took your soul in your hands before it could float any closer to Sans.  “Ha!”  You looked up at Sans oddly giddy.  The more excited you got the brighter your soul shone until it was almost too much to look at.  

Sans was still frozen in place so when you walked up to him he just stared at you, his face as red as his soul.  You held your soul out to him, silently giving him permission to hold it and he swallowed thickly before gingerly taking it from you.  “Ah.”  The moment his hands touched your soul you felt an odd almost needy feeling shiver through you and his eyelights grew larger.  His fingers brushed against it and you could feel your pupils dilate as you watched him treat your soul like the most precious thing in the world.  Everything inside of you felt like it was on fire and all of your emotions were exponentially enhanced while your soul was out and in his hands.  Suddenly you gasped and felt your pulse quicken, he had pressed a soft kiss to your soul his smile almost devilish as he peered at you, his head bent over your soul.  

“Sans?”  

“you really are mine…” His sharp teeth grazed against the glowing soul in his hands as he spoke, his voice filled with love and awe but you couldn’t really respond because your body was shaking again for different reasons.  You were insanely curious as to where he was going with this, but you were also having a hard time handling all of these new sensations so you took a step forward and reached for your soul.  He dragged his tongue along it’s surface.  

“Oh.”   Your legs stopped working and you crumpled to the floor, you were having a hard time breathing.  He started to laugh, he almost felt bad but then you glared up at him and reached for him again.  “Give it...now.”  Your words were breathy but demanding and he raised a brow, relenting and moved to put your soul back.  Something tugged at his soul and he choked.  “No, I want _your_ soul.”  Before he could do anything his soul was already floating in front of him.  

“h-how did you-”  You blinked.  You’d done that?  Well you’d worry about that later, for now you were reaching for the beautiful soul that was just within your reach.  The moment you touched it you felt suddenly very possessive, this was something you had to protect, it was precious, but that didn’t stop you from giving it a subtle squeeze as you stroked it with the pads of your thumbs.  Sans struggled with his words and stumbled towards you.  He had only intended on teasing you a little; you had made such an adorably sexy noise.  This was not what he had planned on.  

 

You gazed at the glowing, oversensitive thing in your hands with so much love and mischievousness that he felt more vulnerable than he ever had.  Before he reached you you were already copying what he’d done to your soul while also pressing your teeth against his soul in the gentlest bite.  You were being oh so careful but each touch was amplified and he fell to his knees in front of you.  He was panting and drool was dripping down his fangs.  

 

You were a vixen, a gorgeous, sexy, amazing vixen.  You chuckled and kneaded his soul softly causing him to groan and press a hand against his pants where his magic had manifested.  You offered his soul back to him with a smirk, completely lost in the moment, all worry smoothed from you face.  The hand that still held your soul squeezed it gently.  You bit your bottom lip to stop from moaning and he started chuckling, despite his own precarious predicament.  Your body  felt like it was surging with electricity and oh how you wanted to leave him a mess on the floor-

  


 -the intensity of every feeling was beyond anything you thought possible, and honestly if you had known about this you would have probably made him take your soul out a long time ago.  As it was, it really didn’t take long before you were both panting, moaning messes.

 

He dragged one of his fangs along the edge of your soul and you moaned into his, already about to bite at it again.  That must have been the last straw because he leaned forward and pressed you back into the floor so lost in his arousal that he forgot and used his magic to remove your pants.  You barely flinched, so distracted by his mouth at your soul.  When he pulled back to remove his own pants you sat back up and as soon as he was free you straddled him and without waiting slid down to the hilt.  Even this felt more pleasurable than before.  You really weren’t going last long you just needed to feel him inside of you.  He swore roughly into your neck, his free hand guiding your hips up and then pushing them back down.  You cried out, nails digging into his soul just hard enough to push him past breaking point, you had just enough mind left to not hurt his soul but you locked your teeth on his neck as you were pushed past your own edge.  You came hard around him and your mouth went slack on his vertebrae.  Tears fell down your face but not from pain.  As you panted into his neck and clung one handed to his ribs with his member still inside of you you laughed at yourself.

 

“Sans, I don’t know how to put your soul back.”  He started laughing with you, the movement jostling you on top of him sending overstimulated waves of pleasure through you and without letting go of you returned both souls to their proper place.  You felt more numb with it shielded back inside of you, which was fine because if ever the terms overstimulated and overwhelmed applied to you now would be the time.

  


It was that night that you realized you hadn’t had a nightmare for a long time and betraying your earlier anger at him you guessed you could at least thank Sans’ father for one thing; he had obviously helped you in one way.

  
  


That week at work was distracting seeing all the souls of the humans around you.  Some were bright and full of life and some were dim and pulsed slowly as if that was hard enough work on it’s own.

 

  One really interesting thing came up that week though.  When you saw Lyla on that Tuesday when she brought in a batch of donuts from Muffet’s bakery her soul was buzzing oddly and when you asked her what was new she blushed.  Your boss was pretty young for a woman in charge, it was one reason you enjoyed working there she was a confident and determined person and she was only about ten years your senior.  She was also one of the most open minded people you’d ever met.  So when you saw she was blushing and gripping the box of donuts a little tighter than she had been you had to wonder: Did something happen with Muffet?  When you asked, her eyes widened as if she didn’t know how you already knew.  

You’ve met Muffet a few times, she was a terrible flirt and not in an oh she couldn’t flirt for her life kind of way but in a she had you questioning everything about yourself by the time you left her bakery, kind of way.  The idea that there might be something going on between Lyla and Muffet made you excited though and obviously if her soul was anything to judge by, it made Lyla excited too.

  


Due to his desire to get this whole fiasco over with Sans ended up being gone most days and most nights.  When you did see him he looked exhausted and you were pretty sure he wasn’t eating properly.  You tried to joke once that he was working himself to the _bone_ and even though he laughed that didn’t seem to make much of a difference. When you spoke to Undyne you learned that Alphys was acting very similar.  The least you could do was make sure they were eating, so together you and Die spent the latter half of the week taking food to the lab for your respective mates.

 

 Papyrus asked you after the first day where his brother was since it was just you hanging out with him and Undyne.  You explained briefly that Sans was working at the lab with Alphys to try to help fix your soul; Sans had made you promise not to mention Gaster to Papyrus.  For his part, Papyrus was actually surprised and a little pleased: Sans was working, of his own volition no less.  If he was lucky Sans would continue to work there after you had been fixed so in an attempt not to ruin this marvelous opportunity to get Sans off his ass for good Papyrus decided to not bring it up again.  Things between the Captain and your robotic friend also seemed to be going well what with Sans not around to try to get in the way.

 

Remembering that Mettaton had told you about talking to Napstablook you messaged the mix artist to ask how it had gone.  He didn’t respond and you hoped that it really had gone as well as Mettaton made it sound because you’d hate for Napstablook to blame you for an even worse outcome.

 Speaking of your metal friend he surprised you at work on Thursday by making a show of picking you up for lunch.  Your co-workers that hadn’t left for lunch yet were startled, and beyond their usual disgust they were also impressed.  Most people knew about Mettaton, he was the one monster that had made a decent name for himself and managed to get his own show despite the hostilities of  humans.  

He had swanned in and much to your enjoyment ignored everyone else in the office. He’d heard your stories of your work place and it tickled you that he cared enough to make you feel special like that.  

“Darling, there you are!”  He leaned dramatically against your desk flashing you a smile, you could see laughter in his eyes.  The cheeky bastard.

“Hey Mettaton, what’s up?  You never visit me at work, is everything ok?”  

“Oh absolutely!  I am here to whisk you away on a whirlwind romance.”  You choked.

“What?!”

“I’m kidding, dear.  I’m taking you to lunch.”  You breathed out and started to laugh.  Lyla walked up at this point, curious as to who was causing such a commotion.

“Oh Lyla, this is Mettaton, Mettaton this is my boss.”  Immediately he turned on the charm and took Lyla’s hand in his own.

“____ has told me a good deal about you, I’ve heard that you have quite a fondness for Muffet’s pastries.”  Lyla shot you a look with a raised brow.

“Mettaton you’re going to get me fired.”  You hissed.  

“Oh dear I’m sure it’s all right, this is clearly a woman with good taste, after all she hired you.”  Now Lyla was laughing and you were sputtering, rushing to pack up your things for lunch before he said anything else.  Your deskmate grabbed your arm as you stood up and leaned over to whisper to you.

“Are you dating Mettaton?”  You looked back at your friend who was talking with Lyla amicably, as dramatic as ever and struggled not to laugh.

“No?  Not that it’s any of your business or anything.”  You grinned to yourself when she seemed surprised, you did a fairly good job of keeping your personal life out of the office, well until now.  You glanced over at Mettaton again.  She looked about ready to ask you more questions, nosey as she was but you brushed past her to join your friend.  You hadn’t had lunch with Sans like you usually did this week either and it had been a rather lonely affair, not that you let it bother you, he was busy trying to save your life and Grillby was a good, if sarcastic sport.  Still, you were happy to have company today.  Mettaton bid Lyla farewell and you headed out to lunch.

 

Honestly you felt underdressed for where he took you but it was a pleasant meal and the food was fantastic.  He wouldn’t let you pay for your food so you left a tip on the table to make up for it when the meal was done.  

You quickly discovered that he had successfully taken Papyrus out for an official date the day before and you listened eagerly as he gushed over every detail.

“Well I guess with Sans being so busy at the lab lately it really is the perfect time to get to know Paps.  Sans can’t really say much if he’s not home.”   Mettaton caught the almost sad lilt to your voice and crossed two of his arms on the table and leaned forward.

“I’ve noticed that loverboy has been on the out lately. What is he doing at that lab?”  You glanced around you and gave Mettaton the short version.  When he heard you say Alphys had suggested trying to separate the magic from you soul he went deathly still and if it wasn’t for his eyes you would have thought he had shut down.

“You need to be careful with Alphys.”

“Huh?”

“In the lab...when she wants something, she’s ruthless.”  The warning in his voice made the hairs on your arms stand up.  You knew she was very enthusiastic in her job but if you thought about it, Alphys always avoided answering your questions when you asked her about exactly what she used to do in the Underground.  

“What do you mean?”  

“What I mean is I hope Sans keeps his head about him, that’s all.”  He was being so cryptic it was frustrating.  “Oh have you spoken to my cousin lately?”  Mettaton switched gears fast enough to make you dizzy; his voice cold and filled with warning one moment and then cheerfully curious the next.

“No, he hasn’t responded to my messages lately and don’t change the subject!”

“That’s too bad, I’d hoped you would be able to tell me if there had been any change.  I will have to stop by myself later, would you like to join me?”  He was avoiding the subject, but you didn’t feel like fighting him right now.

“No, Die and I need to take dinner to the lab.  If I don’t go and remind Sans to eat and take a break he’s liable to kill himself from overwork.”  

“You are so sweet, beautiful, he’s lucky to have you.”

“I don’t even know if luck has anything to do with it.”  You blushed, remembering, Mettaton’s eyebrow raised and you coughed a little and  waved your hand in the air to distract from your face.  You changed the topic again and told Mettaton you needed to get back to work.  

  


Besides taking food to the lab and making your friends break to eat on Thursday you didn’t see Sans again until Friday night.  Undyne had been unable to take you to the lab so you’d texted Sans to remind him to eat something, even went so far as to suggest he come over to your place for a bit and take a break.  Hours passed before you got a response and at that point you were already getting ready for bed.  Sans teleported in beside you, you sensed the change in the air before he appeared so when you turned to look at him you were already smiling excitedly.  He looked like a mess, red shadows under his eyes betrayed the fact he hadn’t slept and the smell and look of his clothes told you he hadn’t showered in days.

“Hey…”

“it’s done.”

“Already?  You didn’t need to work yourself so hard.”  He just sighed and rubbed his face.

“we start testing it tomorrow.”  

“How exactly do you plan to test it?”  He looked away from you and your eyes narrowed.  “How are you going to test it Sans?”  You grabbed his arm so he couldn’t teleport away.  “You have to test it on me, don’t you?”  He made a small sound in the back of his throat.  You should have guessed this was going to happen honestly.  You dropped your hand from his arm and drew yourself as tall as you could.  

“wha-”

“Well I’m not going anywhere until you’ve showered, eaten, and slept.”  Tomorrow was a massive unknown and at least for right now you had a little bit of control and you weren’t going to let that go.  “When was the last time you even brushed your teeth?”  Sans knew you were falling back on normalcy and caring for him to keep yourself grounded, not that it did a lot to assuage his own worries but he appreciated your determination nonetheless.  As it was he scowled and closed his mouth.  This entire week you had been fretting over him, you kept it to yourself for the most part but he knew.  He also knew if you and Undyne hadn’t started bringing food to the lab at night he wouldn’t have bothered.  It was an unhealthy habit of his and you’d just taken it in stride, even now as you were pushing him towards the bathroom.  

“Leave your dirty clothes on the floor I’ll put them with mine, I need to do a load anyway so we’ll stop by your place tomorrow and when the laundry is done we will..we can...y’know.”  You trailed off and walked away leaving him in the bathroom alone.  You’d noticed his soul brightened when he was near you, it made you feel a little better knowing he missed you too, knowing that he was so worried about you that he had worked as hard as he did to make sure you were going to be ok.  Still, knowing that the only way to test the machine was to just give it a shot chilled you to the _bone_.  You decided to busy yourself by heating up some of the leftovers you had from your own dinner.  

 

Sans barely made it through his food before he started to fall asleep and you just shook your head with a small smile.  At least he was incredibly light you thought as you walked him to the bedroom.  When you got into bed yourself he wrapped his arms around you protectively and pulled you against his chest, his mouth pressed into the back of your shoulder.  You’d missed this, you hadn’t slept as well with him gone.  You hadn’t realized how accustomed you’d grown to sleeping wrapped up in him like this, feeling him beside you, until he wasn’t there anymore.  Both of your phones were on silent, you knew that Alphys would likely try to get you in as soon as dawn broke and you really didn’t want Sans to go anywhere until he was able to rest a little bit.  Plus, if you were being honest you wanted to procrastinate the tests as much as possible.  You felt uneasy with the impending morning and as you fell asleep you silently hoped morning would never come.  

  
  


Your time at the lab came faster than you’d wished and despite your best efforts Sans was more than aware of your nervous energy.  First you woke up and made breakfast, you never made breakfast.  Then you’d washed the dishes, all of them; even the ones that had been there for a week.  When it came to the laundry you washed them, dried them, folded them and insisted that Sans take you home to put them away.  At that point he looked at you with a concerned scowl, it was an odd expression, and told you that you were avoiding.  You just stood there with his jacket in your hands, fidgeting and folding and unfolding it.  He told you that you didn’t need to do this but that just made you angry because of course you did.  He worked so hard just to make sure it would be safe, so that you could be safe.  You were doing this!  That made him laugh and you realized he was just trying to work you up so you wouldn’t worry as much.  He took the jacket from your hands and pulled it around your shoulders.

“it will be cold in there, and you’ll probably feel colder afterwards if all goes to plan.”  You put your arms through the sleeves, it was still massive on you but you always felt better wearing it.  You did long before you had started going out.  “i still think you look sexy wearing my clothes.”  You swatted at his chest but smiled.  

He agreed to take the laundry to your apartment but he wouldn’t let you put it away and instead took you to the lab immediately after.

 

“y’know i haven’t seen the boss today.”  He mused to himself but you just shifted in his arms and looked away from him, surveying the room you were in now.  “what do you know?”  

“Hey is that the new machiney thingy?”  You tried to walk away but he tightened his arms and growled in your ear.

“what do you know, sweetheart?”  You laughed a little, he wasn’t mad at you...yet...and his breath was tickling your skin.

“He has a date with Mettaton today?”  You turned your head a little to give him an innocent look, chewing on your lip.  His eyes narrowed and he looked liable to snap but he just took a deep breath through his nasal cavity.  He couldn’t stay mad at you, not right now but he seriously wasn’t happy at what you had just told him.  You raised an eyebrow, expecting some kind of response and he pressed a hard kiss to your lips.

“you’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I thought it was my charming personality and quick wit?”

“hmm.... nah, i dunno what gave ya that idea.”  Your eyes shifted to his soul with an expression of sarcastic disbelief.

“Not very good at lying now that I can _see right through you_.”  He bent his head and bit gently at your neck.  

“ass.”

“I’ve been told.”  You sighed, you were still avoiding the situation at hand.  “Let’s get this over with, where’s Alphys?”

 

Alphys as it turned out was sleeping at her messy table, her clothes as stained as Sans’ had been.  When you woke her up she nearly fell out of her chair and onto the ground but the second she saw you she went zero to a hundred, real quick.

 

“Good-good, you’re here!  Come over here, has Sans told you what was going to happen?”  You nodded.  He had given you the basics and you had understood it well enough to be getting on with.  “Good...good.  Ok well this is the DT Extractor-”

“Determination Extractor, yea I got that.”

“Y-yes well we modified it to extract monster magic instead, it should remove the foreign ma-m-magic.  Ugh.  Magic from your soul.  I can’t prepare you for how it will feel but please try not to panic and if it hurts too much we can stop.”  She didn’t sound like she wanted to stop but you gave her a thumbs up.

“Alrighty dighty then.  Let’s get this over with.”  

“Perfect, we will be back in the control room and can hear you just fine.”  She pointed back towards the glass window that Sans stood behind.  He flashed you a strained smile and you sighed, turning back to the terrifying machine in front of you.

“Who designed this nightmare fuel?”  

“I...I don’t know.”

“So probably Gaster then.”

“Given what we know about him so far you are l-likely correct.  Now just have a seat here and try not to-”  
“Scream?”

“I was going to say ‘freak out’, but yes that too.”

 

Once you were seated she left you to return to the control room.  You turtled into Sans’ jacket more, dread and anticipation clouding around you.

“ok babe, here we go.”  The giant machine roared to life and you took steadying breaths.  This was fine, it was all fine.  They were just testing a machine out on you and all you had to go on was faith that it would work.  But if they thought it would work a hundred percent then why did they call it a test? These thoughts were getting you nowhere and honestly made you feel worse, so you thought of other things.  Like what you would do when this was done.  Nothing, absolutely nothing.  You and Sans were going to be big ol’ couch potatoes and do nothing but eat unhealthy, greasy foods after this.  That was the plan.

A sudden tug at your chest told you that the magic in the machine was reaching your soul.  Oh god how you hoped this would work.  

 

The machine wasn’t designed to draw your soul from your body but it was designed to pull out the bits that weren’t supposed to be there.  The tug felt like your soul was being pulled in two different directions, it was gentle at first.

“This isn’t so bad.”

 

Then a sharp pain shot through your body and you cried out.

“take a deep breath, sweetheart, almost there.”

“It’s w-working perfectly!”  You nodded more to yourself and clutched at your chest.  A cold sweat broke out on your forehead, the sharp pain spreading through you.  If what they were removing was truly a foreign thing would it hurt this much?

The roar of the machine faltered and then shut down suddenly, the pain in your chest remained though and you felt like something was missing.  It hurt.  You wanted to tell them to put it back, give back what was gone.  That cold sweat wasn’t going away and now you were feeling nauseous.  

“Guys?  I don’t feel good…”  You curled up on yourself and breathed slowly through your nose suddenly the hatch to the machine opened and Sans was pulling you out into the room.

“are you ok? look at me, are you ok?”  You looked up at his worried face and contemplated lying but the truth was you felt like shit, you felt empty.

“No, I...it feels so wrong...it’s not right.”  You were shaking and there was bile rising in your throat.  “Did it work at least?  Please tell me it’s done, I don’t wanna do that again.  Don’t make me do that again.”  He pulled you against his chest, shushing you gently while you rambled and shook.

“it only managed to extract a portion of the magic, i’m sorry. babe, you’re burning up.  alphys I’m taking her home.”

“But Sans-”

“her soul needs to heal, we don’t know what will happen! i’m taking her home to rest.”  He didn’t leave her room to argue and teleported the both of you back to your apartment.  The drop in your stomach tipped your nausea over the edge and you turned barely in time to upchuck your breakfast all over the floor.  “shit, ok don’t worry i’ll clean it up.  babe, don’t cry come on, come lay on the couch.”  You sniffed and when you sat down he went to find you a towel and some water so you could wipe your face off while he cleaned the mess you had made.  You felt bad he was cleaning up after you but it was endearing all the same.  

 

When he was done he grabbed your blanket and a pillow from the bedroom and made you lay down, you had refused to go to your room.

“Sans, I feel so cold.”  He stroked your hair and looked down at your head in his lap, brow creased with worry.

“you’ll be alright, don’t worry. it’s going to be ok.”  He was staring at your soul.

“What happened, Sans?”  

“it was working, but i don’t know...your soul was fighting with the machine and the machine couldn’t keep up.  it only managed to remove a little bit before it shut down.”  

“It fought..the machine?”  That could explain somethings.  “But why do I feel like this?”

“your soul needs to heal, but i’ve never seen such an adverse reaction like this...i don’t know i need to go back to the lab.”  

“If you need to go you should go.”  He didn’t know what was wrong with you, you could hear it in his voice.  Even what he was telling you came out uncertain.  His hand stilled on your head and then resumed its comforting movements.

“i’ll go in a little bit.”  You were glad, honestly you didn’t want him to leave you.  You needed him with you, you were aching for that missing piece of you and having him was like a soothing balm on your soul.  

 

You fell asleep.

 

Sans looked at you, shivering in your sleep and flushed from the fever that had set in.  Your soul was pulsing weakly.  There was less purple than before that was true, but there was also just less of your soul period.  It looked indented, like someone had scooped out a part of it.  The only reason he was able to breathe right now was because it was such a smooth extraction, there were no cracks or jagged pieces, you would be able to heal from this and that was good.  There was no way in hell that he was going to put you back in that machine again, he would have to figure something else out to help you, he couldn’t put your through that again.  Not after the way you had begged him not to.  Not after you’d looked so broken and afraid.  

He waited until he was sure you deep asleep and then he returned to the lab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended a little forced, I was having trouble writing the bridge between point A and point B but it could be worse. Sorry 'bout that.
> 
> Still, feel free to join me in this dumpster fire at http://undertrashgold.tumblr.com/


	13. I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MMM, that sweet sweet angst.

You woke up in the dark, alone and aching.  Not only did your soul hurt, but your body, right down to your bones, ached.  You were dehydrated, your head was heavy and you were cold despite the fact you were sweating.  If you didn’t remember what had happened earlier you would think you had caught something. 

The tv was still on, some late night movie marathon so you laid there hugging your pillow to you trying not to cry.  It didn’t feel like you had control over anything at the moment, like at any moment you could break, but Sans had told you that you would heal.  You would be ok.  You trusted him.

 

You had to trust him.

 

You laid on the couch fighting sleep and shivering.  Finally, tired of just watching the bland film on the television you opened your messenger on your phone.

 

* **hey blook, how’s it been**

It took a while before he responded, you weren’t even sure if he would.

 

*fine

 

***i heard you spoke to mettaton**

*...

*yea  
  
***and? How did that go?**

 

*it went…

*we’re gonna give being a family a shot

*i’m not entirely happy about it but...he deserves a chance 

 

The news made you smile and the ache inside of you lessened a little, or maybe you just stopped paying attention to it.  

***that’s awesome!  Hell yea dude!**

 

*honestly though i still can’t stand having him stop by randomly, you free tomorrow?

 

***i am...but i’m pretty sick right now...there’s well im sure metts can tell you but there was something wrong with my soul and we tried to fix it...anyway long story short i need to rest and let it heal a bit**

 

*WHAT THE FUCK?!

 

***imma be ok**

 

*how the hell did your soul get damaged trying to fix it, fix what?

 

You heaved a sigh and started typing up a more thorough explanation.

 

*...

 

***yea...its a lot**

***i feel like absolute shit right now man, be glad you can’t feel anything physically cause im bout ready to die**

 

*was that a death joke

 

***naw, it was an exaggeration**

 

*ah…

 

The two of you talked for a few more minutes about his music but your body was screaming at you to go to sleep so you ended up having to just let the conversation drop.  Once your phone was back on the table you turned your attention back to the tv, you still needed to drink something but the glass Sans had left you was empty now and you didn’t want to get up.  

The air shifted behind the couch and you felt some of the internal ache ease a little more.  Sans walked around to look at you and you smiled at him.  You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed his presence in your current state.  

 

“how’re ye feelin, sweetheart?”

 

“Like shit, but actually a little better now that you’re here.  It’s like I’ve got the flu but worse.” He nodded and picked up your glass to refill it.  You sat up to drink some of it and ended up drinking all of it before he had even sat down.  A smile tugged at his mouth and he filled it again, this time setting in on the coffee table.

 

“well, you’ve never had damage to your soul before.”  You nodded and curled into his side.  You could feel his magic thrum comfortingly through his bones and you closed your eyes.  

 

“How long will I feel like this?”  

 

“not sure, but when you’re able to eat again i’ll bring ya some monster food.  it should help some.”  

“Ok.”  

 

You could tell he was worried, you could feel it in how stiff he was.  He was probably blaming himself you realized, but it wasn’t his fault.  You all knew going into this that there really was no precedent for what was going on with you, nor how to fix it.  You had even insisted on this in the first place. 

Too tired to pull yourself up to kiss him you settled for hugging him as much as your aching and weak body would let you.  After a moment you felt him relax and wrap his own arms around you and he nuzzled his face into your hair.

 

“I’m all gross and sweaty Sans.”

 

“eh.”  You laughed a little and his arms tightened a little.

  
  
  
  


That week you didn’t do much besides rest, you’d even had to call out of work.  Not that Lyla had a problem with it, she was very understanding.  Though it meant taking your paid time off so you could still pay rent, but it wasn’t like you were using it much anyway.  At least you had a reason to lay around the house all day, whether or not it was a reason you enjoyed.  

 

On the brightside you were rarely without companionship.  Through your own need you had made it clear to Sans that being alone physically hurt you and while the rest of your friends weren’t quite the balm to your soul as he was, that admission had made him kiss you with a barely restrained hunger, it was still better on both your mind and your soul to not be alone.  So everyone took shifts, and that meant everyone but Alphys who still hadn’t left the lab since extracting the small amount of Gaster’s magic.  Even Papyrus showed up one day much to your surprise.  

 

He puffed out his chest stating that his presence was sure to heal your weakened soul in more pompous terms than that.  He refrained from mocking your inability to handle the damage in the first place and for those few hours you could see that sweet side of him that he didn’t like to show anyone.  In a way he was now your brother too, wasn’t he?  And in your deliriously happy mood by him trying to take care of you you had said as much and even called him bro in an endearing way, hugging his arm from your position on the couch.  His magic had surged to his face at that and he mumbled something you could have sworn sounded like ‘stupid human sister’, which of course just made you even happier.  In fact it was the happiest Sans had seen you when he returned that day to relieve Papyrus of his shift taking care of you.

 

“Thanks for coming... _ bro _ .”

 

“NYEGH! I WILL RETURN TO CONTINUE MY IMPECCABLE CARE TOMORROW.” And with that he had left obviously flustered.  You hadn’t expected him to want to return so soon, even though you’d tried not to be so needy when he was there. You couldn’t help smiling.  Sans was surprised as all hell at what he had just seen, but when he asked about it you just waved him off.

 

Undyne was more subdued when she was with you, her competitiveness toned down a noticeable degree even when she got you to play some games with her.  She even let Mettaton go with her one day and didn’t argue with him more than three times.  

 

Being as busy as he was Mettaton hadn’t been able to really visit beyond that time he had come with Undyne so the day he arrived on his own you learned with a fair amount of warmth and surprise that Napstablook had sent him to check on you. Mettaton brought bags of get well gifts for you which you placed next your desk both flattered and afraid to see what was inside them.  You then spent the rest of the afternoon watching romantic comedies with him.  You made a lot of terrible jokes about them much to his amused dismay and talked about your respective skelelovers.  

 

The one other good thing that came from being ill was the fact that you also ended having a homecooked meal every single day courtesy of Toriel.  The first day after the test had both succeeded and failed she arrived with dinner and the kids in tow.  She didn’t trust Sans to make sure you ate healthy and filling meals despite your insistence that he was taking excellent care of you.  True to his word he had brought a supply of monster food to help your soul and a bunch of your favorite comfort foods but you guessed Toriel had a point about the healthy part.  

It took a lot of arguing on your part to not get carted off to her house for the duration of your healing process, but you relented to spending a few days there when everyone else was too busy to visit you.  

 

Sans had to go back to the lab a lot during that week and you had a feeling it was a mix of him needing to keep an eye on Alphys as well as him trying to figure out what to do next.  The only difference this week as opposed to the week before was he always and without fail came back to you in the evenings.  Pulling you against him, making sure you were drinking enough water, fretting over your fever with warm blankets and cool cloths.  Then when your body developed an actual cold a couple of days in he was there with medicine and tissues.  You almost didn’t want to get better because this was a side of him you’d never seen before, but then you would feel guilty for thinking that.  He was so worried about you. You’d get better immediately you could, and if it meant that he would be able to relax again.

 

By the end of the week you were feeling nearly normal again, the cold your body had dredged up was still plaguing you but the soul related pains had subsided, and finally Sans checked you over and with a huge smile of relief informed you that your soul was fine.  

 

You took a couple more days to fully recover from the normal human illness that plagued you and then you returned to work.  It was actually a relief to be able to go back to the office.  You weren’t sure you could handle another day stuck at home.  

“____! I am glad to see you are doing better!”  

 

“Hey Lyla, yea me too.”  Your boss handed you a muffin and a cup of spider cider.  One of your eyebrows quirked up and a smile tugged at the corner of your lips.  “So how’s things with you and Muf-”  She silenced you with a look and you innocently took a bite of the muffin, nearly choking when you swallowed wrong.

 

“If you must know,  _ dearie _ , things are going well.”

 

“I heard that.”  She blushed.  “But, still that’s good.”  

 

“Hmm...well just because you’ve been sick doesn’t mean you get to slack off today.  Your backlog has grown precariously large.”  

 

“You wound me, boss.”

  
  


Even your deskmate seemed glad to see you and you didn’t have it in you to reject her offer to join her for lunch, thought you let her pick the place.  For the next few days everything almost seemed to settle into a more normal rhythm.  You worked, you stayed out of the house as much as possible, and you even let Undyne put you through your paces again taking her sarcastic criticisms in stride.  

  
  
  


Nothing is allowed to really stay normal for you though.  Not when your friends are monsters. Not when your mate was a monster.  Not when your soul was tainted with the magic of a monster lost in the void.

 

Barely a week passed before a gentle tugging at your soul that you had previously passed off as apprehension sent a prick of pain through you.  You were at work, only a couple of hours left but when the pain tugged again you rushed to Lyla’s office.

 

“Hey boss, I gotta go home early.  I don’t feel good.” She looked up from her computer and took in your near panicked expression.

 

“Sure, go ahead.  Don’t worry about the hours, I’ll see you tomorrow.”  You heaved a sigh of relief.

 

“Thanks.”  Your phone was already in your hand and a few taps later you were calling Sans.

 

_ Come on babe, pick up. _

 

“hey, what’s up?”  _ Oh thank god. _

 

“Sans, my soul feels weird, can you come get me?”

 

“the fuck- yea ok.”  You made it outside just in time for him to appear in front of you.  “what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

 

“I don’t know, I felt this like tugging but then a sharp pain and I don’t know what is going on.”  His eyes seemed to unfocus for a second as he lost himself in thought and then he swore.

 

“shit!”  Within moment he had grabbed you and teleported the both of you to the lab.  The moment you were there the pain faded.  “Alphys! where are ya!”  

 

“Sans?”  Your voice gave him pause and he walked back over to you only to grab your hand and drag you after him.  “What’s going on?”

 

“ALPHYS!”  He roared.

 

“O-oh Sans, I-I-I wasn’t expecting yo-you until later.”

 

“we agreed to wait until all the variables had been discussed.”  She wrung her hands at the venom in his voice.

 

“I don’t kno-know what you mean.  I haven-”  Sans thrust you forward and Alphys seemed to realize for the first time that you were also in the room with them.  “Hello, ____.”

 

“Alphys?” You asked.  “What’s going on?”  Her eyes darted, nervously, back and forth between you and Sans.

 

“We-we had been talking about um...see…”  She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.  “This way, please.” She said, then she turned and walked further into the lab.  Sans was glaring daggers at the smaller scientist but followed her nonetheless, so you followed him.

 

She led you to a room not dissimilar to the one that housed the DT Extractor.  Inside the room was a large tank hooked up to a large machine and a series of monitors.  Inside the machine was a tiny, swirling, gaseous bit of purple magic.  

 

“That’s the magic you took from my soul, isn’t it?”  You walked past Sans and closer to the tank.

 

“Yes, it is.  It is.  This machine is a designed to keep a soul together.  In this case i-it has been modified to pull a s- a soul back together.  I won’t get into the specifics, but we th-thought that if the soul could pull itself together gradually the magic in your soul could- would be removed without as much damage as the Extractor.”  She turned back to look at you, hope in her eyes.  She wanted to keep the machine running.  Confused, you looked at Sans.

 

“Is this true?  Why didn’t you tell me?”  You asked.  Your voice wasn’t upset, just curious.

 

“i wasn’t even sure if it was a good idea. there’s a lot we still don’t know yet, it might work but then again it could not.”  His eye sockets narrowed dangerously at Alphys.  “but we agreed to not turn that thing on until we were sure and not until you could decide.”

 

“OH!  But Sans, I figured it out!  L-Look at this, the missing piece!”  She scurried over to a table covered in papers and dug until she found the one she was looking for.  Then she ran over to Sans and thrust it at him.  He took it with a sneer and looked it over. 

 

His sneer fell away as disbelief overtook him.

“this-how did you- this could actually work.”  His voice was softer than it had been a moment before and you pursed your lips expectantly.  He rubbed the back of his skull and stared at the paper in his hands.  

 

“Sans, do you think this could work?”  You asked him.

 

“ye-but wait you said your soul hurt earlier.”  You shook your head at him.

“It stopped when we got here.  Maybe I was too far away?”  You directed that last question at Alphys.

 

“Possibly.”  she mused.

 

“sweetheart, i still don’t think it’s a good idea.”  Sans said, handing the paper back to Alphys.

 

“Look, the machine is already running and so far I’m fine.  We can just turn it off if things go awry, right?”  

 

“She has a point, Sans.” Alphys interjected only to quiet under his responding glare.  

 

Finally he groaned and dragged a hand over his face. “fine.”

 

~~~

  
  


It was working.  

 

You watched in fascination as that little wispy bit of purple swirled and grew in the tank as it drew together the lost pieces of Gaster’s soul.  Alphys was buzzing excitedly at the apparent success before her but behind the glass of the control room Sans was pacing and glaring.  You were a little nervous as to how you would react to the bits of the purple soul and magic being pulled from your own, especially after how shitty you felt when the modified DT Extractor only pulled out a small piece of it, but this was a little more organic so maybe it would be easier.  

 

Your chest felt tight, and that tugging sensation you had felt at work a couple of hours ago returned but not pain as of yet so you were glad.  As the time passed though, you found yourself clutching at your shirt, only to drop your hand when you caught Alphys or Sans looking at you.  

Then when the sensation in your soul was reaching nearly uncomfortable levels Alphys exclaimed suddenly causing you to jump.

“Oh! It's working!  How do you feel?”  

 

“Uncomfortable...but otherwise I think I'm ok?”

 

“That’s good! Good…” she started scribbling something on her clipboard, occasionally glancing back at your soul.  When you looked back at the tank, it was just a cloud of magic but it was bigger than before.  You told Alphys you were going to sit with Sans and she nodded absentmindedly.  The moment you walked into the room he made you sit down.  When he looked at your soul his worried scowl deepened.

 

“are you sure you're ok?”

 

“I'm fine.”  A loud beeping sounded off from back in the room with the tank and Sans jerked upright, his hands slamming on the intercom button.

 

“what's going on?!”

 

“I-I don't know!” You stood up and saw Alphys fretting over the dials on the tank.  “Something is interfering, the pressure dropped. I don't...somethings fighting the” she whipped around and looked at you through the window.  “Her soul it's-it’s resisting, it doesn t want to let go of the magic.”  You clutched at your chest again and looked up at Sans who was grinding his teeth.

 

“Well make it let go!  Do something, I don't know.”  Your voice was a little tight.

 

“alphys adjust the input, see if you can get enough out if it to counteract this.”  His hands were balled up in the pockets of his lab coat.  Quickly the smaller reptilian monster turned and started making adjustments on the monitors of the tank and the lights flickered.  

 

“It’s working Sans!” Alphys called out.  Inside the tank the cloud was starting to pull into itself a little, as if it was trying to form into a solid shape.  Alphys started laughing and eyeing the contents of the tank with satisfaction.  Sans turned back to look at you and saw you were clutching your chest with a pained expression.

 

“Somethi-somethings wrong.”  the words caught in your throat as pain in your soul wracked through your body.  Sans looked at your soul and his eyes widened in fear.  His eyelights darted over your face before he rushed out into the main room.

 

“alphys shut it down!”

 

“What? No!”

 

“shut it down! it’s tearing her soul apart!” you stumbled after him, the pain in your chest increasing with each breath, it felt like you were being ripped in two.  Alphys stood protectively in front of the tank, her teeth bared in warning. 

 

“Once her soul's been separated from the magic she will be fine.”  

 

“Alphys?” She looked up at you and your pained voice, her face hardened.

 

“No, if we stop now it will have all been for nothing, I can't allow that.”  she didn't seem to be talking about your own personal well being anymore.  Sans’ eyes went dark and you shuddered at the murderous aura you could feel coming off of him.

 

“i won't tell you again, turn it off or move.”  Alphys snarled at him and Sans summoned a few sharpened bone attacks and took aim.  Panicked, you ran forward and put yourself in between them.

 

“Sans stop! Please.”

“get away!” you took a step forward, chilled by the memories of the last time you saw him like this but determined to keep him from making this mistake.

 

“Sans-” something inside of you broke and you fell to the floor screaming.  Immediately he dropped his magic and rushed forward to pick your sobbing form off of the floor.

 

“sweetheart?”  you bit your tongue in an attempt to keep from screaming again and tasted copper. He looked up to yell at Alphys again who had backed up against the tank with a look of fear in her eyes but his voice caught. “please, turn it off.”  Alphys nodded and reached over to the monitors.

 

“I can't.”

 

“WHAT!”

 

“It’s too late, the soul is pulling itself together I can't stop the machine.  It won't - it won't let me!” her voice rose in pitch in desperation.

 

“Sans?”  he looked back down at you, his sharp teeth clenched in fear.  “I'm sorry.”

 

“sweetheart no, why are you- no. No no no no no-”  he was shaking: you could hear his bones rattling.  You forced a smile on your face, but your lips wavered and it didn't reach your eyes.  Your soul was breaking apart inside of you and you felt the world falling away.  You clung to Sans, fear and sadness and love the only thing you felt.  You focused on his face and swallowed, he kept muttered the words no and don't over and over.  “____, please…”

 

You felt cold and you were shivering even inside his giant jacket.  “I love you, Sans.”  You were so tired and everything hurt so much, if you could just close your eyes the pain would go away.

 

“no please!  please don't, please. sweetheart, ____, please i love you so much... please don't...don't leave me.”  He didn't know if you heard him, your eyes had closed and your muscles relaxed in his arms.  He clutched at your body, burying his face in the junction of your neck and chest, hot tears spilling from his eye sockets onto your skin.  “please…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late with this guys I had to move this weekend and got super distracted.
> 
> As it is I'm going to be posting the rest of the story today.   
> You know how when you are super hype about something and in your head you think "wow, I can do this and it sounds great and I have all these ideas?" Well that's what this fic was, same as the rest of the Crossing Series. But I have so many ideas in my head I've lost a little bit of the drive for this one so I'm really sorry if it comes out as forced.   
> I don't want to be the kind of writer who leaves a fic unfinished though so I have an ending for this one written out (one I planned a long time ago) and I will be leaving it open in case I am able to come back to it with the drive I had before.


	14. There's No Light At The End Of This Tunnel

Sans jolted back when your broken and cracked soul started to leave your body.  Before he could even reach for it Alphys stepped up from behind him and slammed a canister around it, suspending it inside before it could completely shatter and before you could die. Her eyes full of regret and pain.  He ached, this was worse than the resets because at least then there was still that small chance things could go right.  This, there was nothing right here.   

He was furious.  If Alphys had just listened to him, so caught up in her goddamn experiments, so hung up on bringing Gaster back.  Glass started to shatter around him as his magic slipped out of his control.  The only thing stopping him from killing Alphys right now was the fact that he held your body and that you had tried to stop him in the first place, stood up to him and his magic to protect her.  He didn’t even realize he was shaking, or that he was still crying, or that he was screaming until he registered Alphys.  When he looked over at her she was shielding your soul in its cannister with her body from his rampant magic and he tried desperately to reign it back in.  There had to be something he could do, anything. He wasn’t going to let you go.

  
  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You opened your eyes to darkness and a yawning emptiness.  You felt so empty, something was missing.   _ i love you so much. _

 

“SANS?!”  You whirled around screaming his name into the abyss around you.   _ please don’t  leave me. _  “SANS I’M RIGHT HERE! PLEASE!”  The darkness swallowed your words like a hungry beast.  “Please.”  you whispered.  You tried to look down at your hands, your body seemed to give off a soft light of its own like a defense against the darkness.  You looked whole, but you still felt empty and broken. 

Suddenly your eyes flew open and you clutched at your chest, where was your soul? You didn’t feel it.  The more you tried to feel for it the more you had an urge to walk to your left.  With nothing else around you, and an inability to just sit and contemplate the vast emptiness that awaited you after death, you followed your instincts. 

 

You walked for what felt like forever.  You didn’t feel tired, not really, but the longer you walked the more you had to fight the urge to just sit down and let the bricks fall.  Each step echoed in your mind with what had happened.  It took you a while to realize that you were wearing what you had been wearing when you...well when you died and that was the only comfort in this place because you were still wearing Sans’ jacket.  It smelled like mustard despite it being washed recently, a hint of alcohol, a tinge of sweat.  It smelled of stolen moments and nights laying awake, of conversations about the stars and teasing laughter.  Of kisses and soft glances.  It smelled of Sans, and it smelled of love.  You pulled the hood up and zipped the jacket, wishing it would cocoon you and you would just wake up back in the lab.  You didn’t feel cold or warm but with the jacket closed you could pretend he was with you.  A sob choked out of you and you yelled in frustration and started running.  Where you were going didn’t matter, you just followed the tug in your being hoping to just get anywhere.

  
  


Did time even pass in here you wondered when you gave up on running.  You didn’t have your phone on you and you hadn’t worn a watch in years so you had no idea.  This was your life now...death now?  You weren’t dreaming, you knew that much.  

Finally you saw something in the darkness, a small light.  It was so tiny, but it felt so familiar.  You let the hood of Sans’ jacket fall from your head as you ran towards the light.  

 

The small size of it had made you think it was a good distance away but in almost no time at all you were skidding to a halt in front of a tall, lanky man.  You stared at him, confused.  He felt familiar, and he looked like he was some kind of skeleton monster.  Cracks ran from the top of his head to his right eye and from the bottom of his left eye down to his mouth.  He didn’t look entirely whole, as if he was struggling to keep himself together. The bottom of his long black coat looked smokey and occasionally his mouth would droop only to solidify once again.  In his holed hands was a small, wispy bit of orange light, a fracture of something bigger.  He looked at you with such a sad expression and you suddenly realized who was standing in front of you.  Your eyes blazed with righteous anger.

 

“YOU!”  You stalked toward him, “You sonuva-” You swung your fist, expecting it to connect with his cheek bone.  Instead he grabbed your fist before it made contact and you swore at him.  “This is all  _ your _ fault YOU. MOTHER. FUCKER!”  You yanked on your hand with each word you yelled, but his hold was hard and complete and he didn’t let go until you stopped yelling and stood there glaring.  The little bit of light in his free hand glowing brightly in your rage like a little flame.  When you were finally able to wrest your hand free you stepped back and crossed your arms.  You continued to glare at him, clenching your jaw to keep from screaming at Gaster again.

 

“My dear, I am so sorry.”  You blinked and gripped your arms tighter, you hadn’t expected that, or wanted it.  

 

“EXCUSE ME?!” He sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his skull the same way Sans did.  You hated that.  

 

“I never meant for events to go so awry, I am so terribly sorry.”  

 

“Why.”  It wasn’t even a question, it was a demand.  A demand for answers and from the look on Gaster’s face he knew to what you were referring but he didn’t speak.  “Listen here gas-man there is only one thing keeping me from flipping shit right now and that is because I need answers.  I’m fucking DEAD!  You. Owe. Me.”  Gaster’s expression tightened.

 

“First, dear, you aren’t dead.”  You looked at him in surprise.  “You wouldn’t be here if you were dead, but I am afraid you are dying.”  Your eyes narrowed and you huffed. “But, you are right, I owe you an explanation. I guess I will start from the beginning.”  He used his free hand to gesture when he spoke and he was a very animated talker you discovered.  His voice wasn’t as rough as Sans’ was, nor was it as deep but it had a very soothing rumble to it...well when it didn’t pitch suddenly as if someone had hit the tuner on a radio by accident.  “I’ve been here for so long, in the void,” so that’s where you were.  Just chalk that up as another thing you didn’t understand.  “I watched my children when I could from in here, I had a little sway from my connection with the void as it was but when the last human fell and the resets started I couldn’t do anything to help protect them.  It was soul wrenching, I was nothing but pieces scattered about the void and the world and everywhere in between. There was nothing I could do you see...but when the human child finally cast aside their games I was so relieved.”  At some point you’d stopped clenching your arms and your jaw, listening curiously.  “But my sons…”  he sighed again.  “My sons, more specifically Sans, he wasn’t the same after the resets and the lifestyle of the Underground and he was giving up.  He had stopped trying and when he reached the surface he only seemed to get worse.  There was a night when he almost died, he would have died-”

 

“He wanted to die.”  You supplied, you knew where this was going and the pain in Gaster’s voice was reminiscent of your own.  

 

“Yes.  You were nearby and I’d seen you before.  You weren’t afraid of monsters, and I tried so hard to reach out to you to try to get your help.  I wasn’t even sure if you had heard me but your soul reacted.”  He glanced down at the bit of orange light in his hand and you realized he was holding a piece of your soul, surprise and anger shot through you and you reached for it in silence.  He handed you the piece without comment, it was warm in your hand and it pulsed gently.  “I had no idea he would do what he did, or that you would...I’m sorry my dear, I didn’t mean to push you into such a situation but my son...I couldn't let him die like that.”

 

“I would have helped him even if you hadn’t interfered old man, I make my own decisions.”  He nodded as if he was aware of that.

 

“After that, after you reconnected with my son, I acted selfishly.  You had been more susceptible to my attempts at reaching across than most and while I didn’t understand why I did not think I should waste the opportunity.  Being in the void, time is a little...difficult to say the least, and things I thought had happened sometimes hadn’t actually happened yet or were happening...I started to reach out to you more often to warn you of-”

 

“Humans right?  Yea I think we figured that out.  You didn’t just do it for your sons though did you?”

 

“No, I...became oddly attached to you.  I felt a need to protect you same as my sons.  You tried so hard to protect them and they love you, I couldn’t let you fall prey to the machinations of biased humans.”  Your eyes flew to his face.  At least you made a good impression on the father of your mate but holy hell in a handbasket this was getting creepy.

 

“You watched me?”

 

“No, not really I can’t see out of the void as much as I would like but there were glimpses, feelings, whatever I could pick up from the piece of my soul that-”

 

“Ended up in my own soul?  How the fuck did your soul taint mine?!  Did that mean you were connected me?? Seriously, the FUCK?!  It, I...WHAT?”  You balled your hand up around your piece of soul as if you could keep it away from Gaster, your words angry and uncomfortable.

 

“Calm down please, we aren’t going to get anywhere this way. I will answer your questions.  First no, I wasn’t connected to you.  Your soul latched onto it and integrated it and the moment it was I was cut off.  That piece of my magic was separated from me, it became yours, or rather it was becoming yours.”  That was a relief at least.  “And to answer your other question, it was an accident.  Having been in contact with your soul so often in the past I became aware of how deeply scarred you were thanks to my meddling and my son.  I was impressed with your attempt to work past it and I must confess I wanted to help, but more than that when I was in contact with your soul I could see my son more clearly.  So in the end I was still being selfish, but when I tried to help calm your soul during your therapy sessions you started to grab ahold of the piece of my soul I had control of.  I have no idea how you did that but I felt it was the least I could do to pay my debts to you for using you like I did, if a little extra Perseverance would help you then I would gladly give it to you.  I just did not foresee...I hadn’t expected that your soul would-”

 

“Absorb your magic.  So it’s my fault.”  You felt sick.

 

“NO!”  You widened your eyes at his outburst.  “Dear please, this is none of it your fault.”  

 

“I had magic I wasn’t supposed to have, I could see souls. I could do things that humans shouldn’t be able to do.  Was I even human anymore?”

 

“I am not sure, but you weren’t a monster.  You didn’t dust and you soul didn’t fall apart completely when damaged.”  He pointed to your closed hand and you opened your fingers just enough to let the light spill out.  

 

“Would it have killed me?  They were so worried that because of you I was going to die, or that I would be changed.  We tried to remove the part of your soul, your magic from mine but…and if I had absorbed it then why were we able to extract it?”

 

“I did not know about that, it was harder for me to look through to your world once I lost that bit of my magic.  Like I said your soul was in the process of integrating it completely, perhaps there was just enough foreign element left to it that...I’m sorry I just don’t know at the moment. But, I’ve felt my soul pulling itself together, it is the only reason I am in this form at the moment.  My soul is forming itself.”

 

“We tried to use your piece of magic from my soul to draw you back together, to see if it would pull the magic out of my soul but it...but it...I…” You looked away from him and down at the soul piece in your hand.  “Why am I here?  If I’m not dead why am I here?”

 

“That is another thing I am unsure of, perhaps it was because of my magic in your soul but when your soul started to shatter I managed to salvage that piece of it.  I couldn’t just let it break apart in here, you deserved better than that.”

 

“Hmmph… thanks I guess.”  Your shoulders slumped, this was so much information and you didn’t really trust Gaster but in some ways you had to thank him, he had watched over you and Sans. Without him things probably would be different right now, in more ways than one and none of them good.  Your eyes narrowed and flashed up to him.  “You were watching over us, did you see…?”  He tilted his head quizzically at your vague question but then his face lit up in a bright purple blush.

 

“Oh! N-no, no I did not.”  His reaction was almost funny to you but you just squinted at him.  “I swear, ____ I am not that kind of monster.”  You hmmphed again but relaxed, he wasn’t like his sons you noticed.  He seemed genuinely nice if a little questionable.  Could you fault him for using the tools he had to protect them?  Maybe a little but he had also looked out for you too and by some weird association he was family.  

 

“Did you know that I was Sans’ mate?”  Gaster startled a little and looked at you thoughtfully, then out into the void..

 

“I did not although that would explain your- nevermind, I am just rambling.”  But his gaze softened further when he looked at you again.  Overwhelmed you sat down on the ground or rather the part of the void that was serving as the ground, if you looked down it was so black you would have thought you were floating.  Or maybe you were and it was just your mind telling you that you were standing.  Gaster stood silently beside you for a moment before sitting down as well.

 

What could have been hours passed where you both sat in silence, neither of you growing tired, and you sat stroking the small piece of your soul.  As your anger faded and you started to come to grips with everything you noticed that it had dimmed incredibly and it was giving off barely any light.  Like Gaster had said, you were dying.

 

For a little while you tried to make idle conversation with Gaster and he seemed glad that you were no longer yelling at him.  You spoke of his sons, of the Underground, of unimportant things until the conversation circled back to what was weighing on your mind.

 

“So this is it huh, you and me just trapped here in the void until I die?  Nowhere to go? There’s no light at the end of this tunnel, at least for me.” You looked over at Gaster.  “Your soul was still forming itself when I...ended up here.  Eventually you’ll be gone and I will have this whole place to myself, for a bit at least.”  Your voice cracked on the last word and in your peripherals you saw Gaster reach over as if to comfort you but he dropped his hand and looked out into the darkness.  “I miss Sans, I wish I could see him again.”  You soul piece pulsed brighter for a moment and desperately you held onto that wish, that desire.  If you could just see him again… you were sure he was a mess if you could just tell him you were ok.  The darkness lit up in front of you and colors started to swarm in your vision as if a picture was being pulled together.  “Gaster?”

 

“I don’t know...”  The colors came together and you realized you were looking at the lab, but when you stood up to walk into it it moved back, so instead you looked around and there near a corner was a messy desk with a computer on it and Sans was frantically scribbling something before he yelled in frustration.  He threw his papers to the floor and put his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking.  You couldn’t hear his yell but you felt it in the piece of soul in your hand and your eyes started to water.  You reached out for Sans and the picture got a little closer.  He was a mess, cigarette butts, beer bottles, and mustard stained papers littered the desk and filled the trashcan.  When you saw the date on the computer you gasped and felt your throat close up.  It’d been weeks since you woke up in the void.

 

“You have to help him! Gaster please!”  You looked at the crestfallen face of Sans’ father and then turned back to Sans.  “SANS! Please, I’m right here! SANS!  Sans. WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! I have to do something.”  You felt your soul piece pulse and tug in your hand and you spun to see a large cannister with a broken and crumbling orange soul in it, it was pulsing in time with the piece in your hand.  Nearby was your body on a cot, hooked up to an IV drop and a heart monitor, and beyond that was Gaster’s soul in its tank, almost fully formed and yet seemingly stuck in a permanent loop of starting to drip and lose form and then starting to solidify again.  

 

Your soul was dying, it was broken and it wouldn’t last much longer.  When you looked at the piece in your hand you saw it was nearly a perfect fit if you could only pull yourself together.  You advanced towards your soul.  The picture stepped away from you but your soul remained in place.  

 

You were going to get back, you were going to fix this.  You were!  You tried to put the piece of your soul back together with the main part but it wouldn’t take, it kept skittering off.  “COME ON! JUST COME ON!!”  You were yelling and crying and you were pissed to hell and back.  Suddenly cool hands folded around yours and when you glanced up you saw Gaster smiling at you sadly, he would help you...he had to.  

You felt and saw purple magic swarm around your hands and the two pieces of soul inside them and together the two of you forced the pieces together. 

 

Sans looked up, his soul was pulsing and reaching for something.  Something he didn’t think he would feel again.  He had all but given up on saving your soul it was already crumbling, he was out of time...but… He stood up and whirled around, your soul was pulsing brightly and it looked like there was a broken piece forcing its way back into the whole.  The sound of glass shattering made him flinch back into the desk, both the cannister and the tank holding his father’s soul were broken.  The purple soul was shredding itself back into pieces of raw magic that were trying to meld your soul back together.  Sans was standing frozen in place, he didn’t understand what was going on.

 

Finally.  Finally your soul blazed and melded together, the light was almost blinding and you felt as if raw magic was coursing through you.  You were fading from the void you realized, your soul was returning to your body.  Pieces of Gaster’s soul were starting to dissipate and you realized he had used what power he had to help you put your own soul back together at the sacrifice of his own. This made you angry and you released your soul and grabbed the pieces of his forcing them back together.

“My dear, stop it is ok.”

“No it fucking is not ok!” You grabbed Gaster and using the raw magic that was inside of you shoved his soul forcibly towards his chest.  He looked at you surprised.  “You got me to Sans in the first place and now I’m getting you back to him. Just you. Fucking. Watch!”  His soul sparked the moment it made contact with him, you were almost entirely gone.  Then the purple soul re-entered its host and before you were gone from the void entirely a blast of magic shoved you back, your hand was still holding tightly onto Gaster’s coat.  

 

You lost consciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaster.....you're an idiot.
> 
> So yea for this fic I liked the idea that gaster is like a nice dad guy in fellverse but in classic undertale he's a bit of an asshole. Not my headcanon or anything I just liked the dynamic for this fic. It's kind of important for classic reader's story too, whenever I get back to that. I will, one day. Can't leave them alone too long, they have some sweet sweet angst incoming for them too.


	15. Never Again

The shockwave of magic knocked Sans unconscious.  

 

When he woke back up he was on the floor and his body ached from the blast, he had a hard time focussing on his surroundings When he reached up to the sore spot on his skull he realized there was a shallow crack running along it from when he had fallen, he hissed at the fresh fracture and knew it was going to take a while to heal.  When his eyes did focus he remembered exactly why he had been knocked out in the first place and lurched forward onto his knees, his eyes searching for your soul but he couldn’t see it.  Instead he saw your body lying on the floor,  and inside of your chest was your soul, tainted as before, mostly orange and swirling with purple magic, but he didn’t care.  He didn’t care about the glass that he crawled through either, all he cared about was getting to you.  

 

He hadn’t removed his jacket from your body those weeks ago when the experiment had all but stolen your life, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.  You liked his jacket and you always looked so happy when you pulled it around your body and nestled inside of it, he couldn’t let that go.  He couldn’t let you go, and when Alphys had trapped your broken soul in the cannister he had tried all he could to save it.  He had hoped if he could make it whole you would wake up.  He had to.  If he couldn’t he was going to force a reset, he could have tried that first but...you wouldn’t remember.  He wanted you to remember, all those memories you’d made here, what you’d done for him, he didn’t want to give up until he’d tried. 

 

_ I love you _ .  

 

Those words that ran through his head every time he almost gave up.  He couldn’t give up.  He started drinking again, and he started smoking again, and when Alphys tried to check on him he had glared at her until she left because if he was being honest with himself he still wanted to kill her.  So he kept trying to fix this, to bring you back, but he had run out of time. But there you were. 

 

Breathing, alive, beautiful.  

 

His eyes followed your outstretched arm until he saw what you were holding on to.  You had a death grip on his father’s coat.  How the hell was his father here?  What was- and then he saw that Gaster’s soul was as tainted as yours was.  Mostly purple with a splash of orange.  He would have been angry, he was probably going to be angry later, but first he had to make sure you were ok.

  
  


When you opened your eyes the white lights of the lab blinded you momentarily, after the darkness of the void you weren’t quite used to such brightness, but then your vision filled with the oh so familiar face of the monster you loved and you started to laugh.

 

“Thank god, oh thank god, Sans. Sans I thought I-” His arms tightened around you and his mouth crashed into yours, his hot tears dripping onto your face.  You’d made it.  He tasted of smoke and mustard.  Your own tears spilled out of your eyes as you laughed and kissed him back.  The overwhelming sense of relief made you giddy.  When he pulled back you knew you looked like a mess, but he looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

 

“i love you...don’t...not again.”

 

“Never again.”  You agreed and reached a hand up to wipe away the streaks left by his tears. “I love you too.”  Your voice came out as a cross between a laugh and a choked sob.  “Never again.”  There was a groaning to your side and both you and Sans looked over to see Gaster waking up on the ground nearby.  Sans’ face creased in anger and you struggled to sit up on the floor, only managing to have yourself pulled on to Sans’ lap while his arms circled you protectively, his sharp teeth bared in a scowl.  You wiped at your face with one hand, the other grabbing onto his arm.  “Sans, don’t.”  He growled and Gaster sat up to look at his son.  

 

“you sonuvabitch!”

 

“That’s the first thing she said to me when she saw me, right before she tried to hit me.”  Sans felt a little pride at that, but it didn’t stop him from feeling anger and hatred towards the man in front of him.  You tried to keep Sans calm while trying to explain that you had helped bring his father back for a reason.  It took almost thirty minutes before he reluctantly agreed to not dust him and another thirty before he agreed to let you stand up.  Your legs were a little weak from disuse but Sans’ protective grip on you kept you upright.

 

 Sans didn’t want Gaster anywhere near you but he couldn’t ignore the fact that both of your souls were mixed.

 

“alright fucker, explain why her soul is tainted with  _ yours _ and why your soul is tainted with  _ hers _ .”  You also wanted to know the answer to this, because you could still see Gaster’s soul and that little splash of bright orange that swirled in his magic was making you uncomfortable although it didn’t react to you at all, not your little grasp on magic or your own soul.  It just seemed like it was a part of his soul.  Like it wasn’t yours anymore.  Remembering that it took Gaster’s magic and soul to glue yours back together you wondered if the same thing had happened to his.  Then, of course, Gaster said as much the same as you thought only in much bigger terms.  He didn’t entirely understand it either but the most he could say on the matter, and the one thing that Sans seemed to care about was that the two of you were not connected in anyway because when Sans heard that he visibly relaxed and surprisingly enough so did you.  You didn’t want a weird connection to his father. 

 

When Gaster tried to explain how it happened in the first place you gave him a look that shut him up immediately.  At this moment telling Sans that his father had put your life in danger just to protect Sans would probably get him killed, luckily Sans was preoccupied and didn’t notice.  His mind was racing trying to understand what was going on.  You were back in his arms and that was the important part, but now you were permanently part monster?(?) and by association his father was now permanently part human?!  What did that mean for you?  He clutched at the crack on his skull as his thoughts scattered and had trouble coming together over this confusing matter.  Gaster moved forward to check on his son but you were already pulling Sans’ head down for you to examine.

 

“This will heal right?”

 

“eventually.” Sans said as he narrowed his eye sockets at his father who stepped back and put his hands in his pockets.

 

“Can someone heal it for you?”

 

“probably.”  You sighed and shook your head at the stubborn monster in front of you.  

 

“Well for the moment we have a lot of questions to answer but we are currently standing in a lot glass and Gaster needs somewhere to stay.”  Sans’ eyelights shrunk and looked down at your face and you could read his expression clearly.  He didn’t want Gaster staying at his apartment.  “We need to tell Paps about this and if we take him to Toriel you know she is just going to make you take him anyway...you have that extra room.”  You were feeling exhausted, mentally not physically.  You were confused and you ached, your soul ached, and to top it all off you were hungry and dehydrated.  Sans ground his teeth hard enough that you could hear it and he pulled a cigarette out of the pack in his pocket.  Your lips formed thin lines, you were going to have to talk to him about that later.  

 

“fine.” 

 

“You’re obviously staying at my place tonight anyway...right?” His expression softened.

 

“of course, sweetheart.” 

 

“That’s settled then, thank god.  Can we, can you just call someone to pick us up I don’t think I’m up to your shortcuts today.” 

  
  


In the end Sans winded up calling Papyrus to come pick the three of you up and while you waited little was said.  Sans was still too angry and the crack in his skull was obviously bothering him.  Gaster was just trying to keep the situation from escalating.  You found yourself leaning into Sans while waiting for Papyrus, you would have complained about his smell if you cared, but you found you didn’t. 

 

You were just glad to be back. 

 

When Papyrus arrived he took one look at Gaster and nearly broke the car door from slamming it too hard.  That was a long conversation in which Papyrus did a lot more listening than talking, but by the end of it he was somewhere in between being pleased to have his father back and furious that Sans hadn’t told him about what was going on.  Not to mention the fact that Sans hadn't told him you had nearly died and in his own way he fretted over you, telling his brother he needed to take better care of you.

Papyrus took you home first and once you were settled inside Sans kissed you quickly and said he would be back as soon as he could and he left to accompany his brother home so he could keep an eye on Gaster. 

Your phone was dead not that that surprised you, but when you plugged it in you left it off.  You weren’t ready to deal with life just yet.  Instead you stripped down and showered and when you were clean you put on some clean shorts and a sports bra and wrapped yourself back in Sans’ jacket, despite it needing to be washed again, and fell asleep on the couch.  The smell of pizza woke you up a couple of hours later and when you groggily looked around you realized your head was on a pillow on Sans’ lap and he was running his fingers through your hair.  You let your head relax back into the pillow until your hunger got the best of you.  

 

“Whatcha watching?”  You sat up and stretched, before pulling the coffee table towards you so you could reach the pizza on it.  “Thank you, by the way.”

 

“think it’s one of those movies you like.  y’know the ones you always complain aren’t true to the books but you still watch ‘em everytime they come on tv.”  You side eyed him while biting a slice of pizza but he was just laughing to himself.  He still hadn’t showered you noted, but compared to what you had seen a few hours ago, the way he looked as he threw his notes and calculations from the desk in rage and pain.  You could forgive him just about anything right now if it meant he could keep that soft smile on his face.  “what are you staring at, sweetheart?” 

“You.”  His face dusted in red and you felt your soul pulse warmly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little ending blurb. I know I didn't go into any of the aftermath but I want to leave it here so when the drive comes back I have a place I can pick up from y'know.
> 
> If you have questions and just want me to cover somethings let me know I'll do some quick little things to try and make it better for you guys. I hope you enjoyed this so far! 
> 
> Keep tuned for future Crossing Series stuff. Classic has an adventure ahead of her and just to give you a hint of some short little things I have planned you can expect something for: Horrortale Reader, Swapfell Reader, and Mafiatale Reader. Which means Classic reader will be meeting those brothers in the future as well. 
> 
> Comment if you want, I love hearing from you guys. All feedback goes into making the next thing I do that match better. Keep being awesome you guys!! And feel free to join me [here](http://undertrashgold.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for some shenanigans.


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